HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

WHAT’S A MATTER VICTOR? Eh, just hard comin’ up with new crap to write here…
OHHHHH, writer’s block eh? Jane, you ignorant slut, whomever said I professed to being a writer? I see life, I blog it, simple as that.

Oscar. The raccoon. You could write about him s’more. Nah, that fugger, I think, is still in my roof. I wouldn’t want him chuckling as he peers down thru the clear plastic in the ceiling where the sheetrock fell due to my in need of fixing the roof.

K. Then cats. Cats are always popular - you getta lotta comments from both pro and anti cat lovers/haters… Did you like just get here?

Tell a story then. Even CJ once said “Victurd, your stories rival Bobby’s.” Nah… I’m storied out. It’d be like when the ex would roll the eyes when she’d hear a story I’d told 423 times. You’ve heard em all, ‘ceptin’ maybe the ones I’m too embarrassed to tell. You mean like that one time when you were sicky, you’d been to HyVee, you didn’t think you could make it home to the squatter, and you stopped at the City Park, and you ran to the BR, and before you made it to the john you.. SHUTTUP ALREADY. Wtf are you anyways?

Let’s hear a Pollyanna/rose colored glasses story… come on, you always perk me up with that crap… Nah, Pollyanna’d out tonight. It’s kinda a blasé’ old night.

Then retell your frat brother tying his “thingy” in a knot… or… about how Bert (The trash guy) was so damn huge he’d stick his “thingy” out the truck window and say “GD, if it was a snake, it woulda bit you.” Nah, old news all. Besides, fitty-four is too old to be telling penis stories…

Then go back to where it all started.. That shitty car you used to drive. You know, the one that didn’t have Park (only RNDL and how you “couldn’t date a lady that lived on a hill”) and that had halfa bumper, checkenginelight came on, went off, AC didn’t work, radiator leaked, you’d sweat your ass off in line at McDonalds, the headliner was falling down.. Had 2 of 4 hubcaps… Ahm, sorry, think they’ve heard all that crap…

What about getting’ laid. You talk about that A LOT. Yes. Yes, I do. Do you see a pattern here? “Talk about it.” Next idea.

Talk about your hatred of racism, cruelty to animals, “uppity” bastards, bling-bling lifestyles. Bored here. Try again.

You’ve talked about touch, sex, women drivers, old drivers, Chuck Shepherd shit, old folks, and “what is old”, life’s stressors, Mother’s Day, Christmas as a kid, signs, THE SEASONS, “taking pics with your eyeballs”, Louie Armstrong’s Wonderful World…Reid and Soanya, ain’t heard an update of that May-December thing.. Olfactory, Empty Nest, Maynard, Farts, Rivers, hooters, men and urinals, perverts, butts, Sanjaya, The Geese flying - long time no hear that shit, overwhelming, kisses, internet dating.

I’m blogged out…. Sorry. Looking at all that… just the tippa the iceberg, I can see why none of you who started with me are still around!

I remember at one point - we dipped so deep in “searching for stuff to write about” we even talked about time spent in and average lifetime on the squatter. Ya see, I don’t do that. Unless the stall nexta me is occupied and I try to really squeeze it out softly so I ain’t embarrassed, I’m a “wham-bam” kinda pooper.

I hereby promise to jump on the squatter tomorrow… and I WILL NOT get up until I have something, cleaver, worthy, creative - to add. Let’s just call that… a “blog log”. (Victor! Are you talking like that one time when u lived in the frat house.. And you had two squatters in the bathroom… and there was like this silent rule… whomever had “THE KING” wouldn’t flush it.. And you hada “THE KING” sign that you’d tape to that squatter.. And it was Sig-A-Ma-Nu Honor not to move the sign, NOR FLUSH, until a bigger King came along?).. Ahm no, not like that at all. I’m fitty-four now, remember.

Bless you to those that have been here awhile. You’re fucking nuts for doing so. I’d list names, but then I’d miss one and feel like… well… a tiny king..

I’m thinkin’ Mexican for lunch tomorrow. Yeah.. That’ll work… that’ll get me to the squatter.. I’ll sharpen my #2 lead, and hopefully come up with something halfway amusing.

Tune in tomorrow. Same batshit channel. Blog log. Love, Vic-long-turd..