Disc jockeys loved this song, "Thank you Iron Butterfly... the whole back side of this album is over 17 minutes..Lotta TIME. I play you, I go poop.. and then go smoke... and then maybe fire on the new secretary".. oh, relax ladies, to be sure, it could be a female disc jockey going to fire on the new sale's rep..
Anyways, it's about TIME. Ain't everything in life?
My golfin' buddy. He ain't never on TIME. "Hello, golf course?"... "Yes?".... "This is Vic, I'd like to make a tee TIME.. howabout 4pm?".. "Sure Vic, we can do that, got you penciled in."............ ring.... ring... "Hey buddy, this is Vic" (of course he has caller ID, he knew that.. called ID saves TIME).. "got a tee TIME, we're playing at 3:40pm."... "OK, I'll see you there then. (at that TIME)" HA!... He pulls into the golf course at 3:55pm - perfection. Works, every TIME.
During the day, I nap. I watch ABC all of the TIME. Well, that's not wholly true, someTIMEs I watch CNN, but, definitely not the TIME to talk about that. Where was I? Oh yeah, naps. So, when I nap, I leave my TV on. It's 12 feet or so from my bed. When I awaken, I listen to what's on the channel I've got memorized by heart.... General Hospital is on? Ahh, thank goodness.. I've got more TIME for a nap until Steve Harvey comes on..or,.. Ellen's already started? Crap, TIME to get up.
During the night. I try to get 8 hours. Rarely do, but it's the TIME I aim for. Now I lay me down to sleep, it's 9pm so you've got 'til 5am you little creep. Or, 8a-4p, or 10p-6a, 11p-7a, you get the drift. I've been so sleepy all the TIME, so I honest to goodness, last night as I laid down to sleep (9pm, Dolly's song always reminds me that means I need to sleep until 5).. I actually Googled "How many hours should a 66 year old male sleep?" in hopes of the result turning up to be at least 9, hopefully 11 or 12 hours. CRAP. "7 to 8 hours of sleep are normal for a 65 yr old." Not enough TIME for me.
My friends always say "Remember that TIME we..."... NO, I don't, how do you remember? .. Brain cells.. I've lost too many brain cells. I've got friends, hell you prolly got 'em too - on Facebook. They'll post that "Please leave one word about the where/the TIME we met." I TRULY SORRY, I DON'T REMEMBER YOU!... TIME takes its toll.
Back to CNN. Yuck, patooey, the now, as in "this TIME" of our lives. From alla the above I deduct "It's a good thing TIME has a way of making us forget, 'cause I don't wanna live in the TIME all the TIME...one day, it's fer sure, I will forget this TIME of life".. Marcia Clark? Yeah, vaguely. Anita Hill? Kinda.. Jim Jones? Yuck, that one I remember. Jessica Hahn? Eh, not for sure, but I bet People That Love TIME will remember her.
I coached basketball. "OK, see this rectangle? They call it the lane. You can only be in there 3 seconds TIME on offense.... and, if you ain't in there, but you're on this halfa the court, and you've got the ball, and someone is guarding you within 5 feet, well, you only got 5 seconds TIME before you have to pass or shoot... if you miss, or even if you make, the other team has 10 seconds TIME to get the ball past half court.. and they have 30 seconds TIME total to shoot." Quarters, halves, 12 minute TIME out, 8 minute TIME out, once a team is behind by 30, the clock, TIME keeps runnin', they don't even stop for a free throw (or a 30 second TIME out, or a full, 60 second TIME out.)" Time, it's all about time. "Remember that TIME we lost to..." NO! I DON'T. You ask me that every TIME... There's no In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida in coaching.
New George Foreman grill. Yum, cooks good, saves TIME. Steak, was it 5 minutes TIME for rare or 6? Hamburger? 6 minute TIME or 7? I have learned though, give it some TIME to cool down. Them removable cooking plates remain vely hot for a long TIME. I wonder if George made more money in his boxing TIME or his grill peddling TIME?
Your alarm goes off. You still gotta work. HA HA HA (sorry).. How do you TIME it? You make TIME for a quicky? Sorry, just curious. Got the TIMEr set for the coffee? How much TIME do you allow for S-S-S? (Ahm, that's Stand, Shower, Shave.) Your commute? Dark? Rainy? Snowy? Icey? How much TIME does it take? Save TIME to swing by so-and-so's desk, he/she is hot. All the TIME.
You been married how long (TIME)? Wow, that's a long TIME. Do you fight/argue alla the TIME, some'a the TIME, or never? "Never." Ahem, so do you lie alla the TIME or just some'a the TIME?
Remember that TIME when dad took the training wheels off? You'd play whiffle ball in the day TIME, kick the can in the night TIME? Remember the first TIME your folks left you alone and you ate 13 cookies?....
It's now 8:43am in New York, 7:43am in Des Moines, 6:43 in Phoenix <-- and them basta's always confuse me, ain't they the ones that don't do Daylight Savings TIME?.. 8:43pm in Bangkok.. 7:13pm in New Dehli..WHAT? it's "43" everwhere else, how come it's "13" in New Dehli? Something about the equator Victor, don't waste your TIME worrying about, remember, Jimmy Buffett says "it's 5 oclock somewhere."
The other day. Winter storm TIME. Power went out. Crap. (Ever crap in the complete dark?).. Anyways, no TV, no radio, no HEAT, no nuttin'. HEY, HOW DO I KNOW WHAT TIME IT WILL BE ONCE MY CELL PHONE BATTERY DIES? Wait, I've got a clock radio back there somewhere, maybe it's battery operated too.. IT IS!.. Crap. (Just said it this TIME, didn't have to go.) Said it because the damn battery was dead. Wait, I think I've got another in the junk drawer. CRAP! (Again, didn't have to go, but, I gotta remember to close the upper cabinet doors all the TIME).. that one was dead too. I'm lost without knowing what TIME it is. HOW WILL I KNOW IF I'VE NAPPED ENOUGH? WHAT? I CAN'T WATCH ELLEN THIS TIME? With Hulu streaming, can I go back in TIME?
Uh oh, gotta go. TIMEr on George Foreman went off, must mean the bacon is done. Normally 3 minutes TIME, but I like it crispy, so, went 4.
"Life is all about having a good time." Miley Cyrus. Thanks Miley, twerk away.
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more TIME." Thomas A. Edison. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell that one to the Power and Light company next TIME the light bulb goes out Thomas. Next time, I'm getting a room at the Motel 6 'cause...well, you know.
TIME flies when you're having fun. For a good TIME, call 867-5309. Hurry up and wait. Damn train. TIME is on my side. That's the last TIME I'm loaning you money!.. "Your wait TIME is 1 hour, 17 minutes" <-- Ain't the DMV fun? I wish we did this TWICE a year!
When it's TIME to relax.............
If you've go the TIME...............
33 hours, 25 minutes, 12 seconds until it's TIME to kick some Patriot butt. GO CHIEFS! IT'S ABOUT TIME!
Only TIME will tell..
By Henry Timex Gibson
Love, VicTIMEturd
No comments:
Post a Comment