Bartholomew..........

Against the flow...

With the flow....

Advantages to each, I reckon. My father always said I went with the flow. He'd 'contract' me to paint a room, 12 minutes into it I'd get a phone call "Hey Schultze, we're going to Antioch, wanna go?" and I was gone. A follower, he said. I went with the flow. S'pose some truth there.

I do very much enjoy the Lazy River. Stacked up against the Zambezi Zinger, The Mamba, The Timber Wolf, yada, the Lazy River is for me. Effortless. A mostly circular river, propelled by 'jets of water' where one lazily flows around and around and around. Too many 'cares' in the world stress one? Hop in the Lazy River, go with the flow, not a care in the world there. There's something to be said for lulling one's self into relaxation.

Others (and admittedly me sometimes) like to go AGAINST the flow. "You'll get splinters. You'll shoot your eye out. Be careful, don't do it." That's scoffed, and agin' the flow folks unite, Dare To Be Different. Deviate from the norm. Don't be a nerd and follow the herd. Screw recipes, throw in something else. If you want what everyone is getting, do what everyone is doing, yuck. Gandhi, Mandela, Rosa Parks, Danica, MLK, STOP! YOU CAN'T GO AGAINST THE FLOW! Thankfully, they didn't listen. (Danica might not fit on that list, but she did go against the flow.)

The flow of our political climate. Holy smokes. First, our leader. His flow. Well, you could call it that. I wonder if he uses a flowbee? He could be a sprinter ya know. He'd run a race, lean at the finish line and 'the flow' would afford him damn near another foot to bust through the tape first. Shutdown, hell yes. Shutdown, hell no. Your fault, no, YOUR fault. Wall, yes. Wall, hell to the no, they'll just build steps from the other side anyways. Kinda makes one want to upchuck flow.

Anyways, politicians peeing upstream, downstream...creating jetties. No one knows which flow to try to follow, and when they do jump in to try to follow one, they're spinning, lost.. and soon, they too smell like piss. Sorry, to relatives reading, true though.

OK Victor, we kinda get it.. this is about flow... What does Bartholomew have to do with flow? I thought you'd never ask. Nowadays, you see so many boys named Ty, Bo, Ed, AJ, TJ, Al, Jay, Leo, Max, Dan, Eli...etc.. Well, moms today stray from Bartholomew as they don't want them shamed because they simply can't keep their pee flow up long enough to pee their name into the snow. No can do Bartholomew. Ty, Bo, Ed and AJ, flow, pee away, spell name all day. Victor, you're weird. Uh huh, ya just never know what urine store for here, I get it.

At least I'm here. I'd taken a break from the flow because I kept catching myself in political arguments, emotions flowing like crazy, saying things to lifelong friends I shouldn't say (and vice versa).. It got so rough, you'd think I'd drink more, but I went away from the flow and actually quit drinking. Ha. 32 days now, no alcohol flowing into my system. Cool Victor, so do you feel better? Do you miss it? What do you do now instead? Yes, feel better. No, don't miss. Instead, I eat.. and eat.. and eat.. and eat.

Us old guys, we have trouble with flow. Victor, you talking ED? Hehe, no, we already mentioned Ed up above there. Well, ok, maybe, but I was more thinking about having trouble with flow when peeing. (Hey, you're reading this, asking yourself "I can't believe I'm really reading this" but I didn't make ya to click the damn link, YOU did it!).. Anyways, 'the flow question' is one of about a hunnerd and twelve questions we have to answer in preparation to even see a urologist for a prostate checkup. I never knew there were that many possible questions about that area.

Blood pressure. Now you mean ED? Stop, please. We old farts build up plaque in our arteries. I think they call it atherosclerosis, but ya can't pee that in the snow either, so let's just label it BP probs. I've had my leg roto-rootered twice. I wish I coulda called Roto Rooter for their $99 special, but I didn't think of it. That, plus, I don't think I woulda ever have had to have the second one. (You know, "away go problems down the drain, Roto Rooter.")

And ok... yes.. maybe... ED. (We can still pee ED in the snow.. just maybe one letter at a time with a short break in-between, but we can still do it.).. There are a plethora of different types, brands of meds available to assist with ED, and the cost is about what the monthly payment of a new Cadillac Escalade (plus insurance) would costya. Woah, the cost of flow.

I'm leaving now. I can't think of a clever ending or anything uplifting after a discussion on ED. Victor, did anyone ever say you had a clever ending or were uplifting? OK, right you are once again.

Bloggers, you see,  not to be confused with actual writers, occasionally suffer from 'blogger's block', and you're stuck with stupid blogs like this. I'm very sorry, and it goes against the flow of my beliefs in 'saving, hitting send' on a stupid blog.

Going to pee my name in the snow now, while I still can.

Love, Vic