Well.. Talk then.. I’ll listen…
YES, text messages are generic (kinda-sorta) but I bet back in your day… if you sat in the far back righthand corner of class… and you thought the chickie settin’ in the front row, lefthand corner had a nice booty… if you tried to catty-wampus a note to her to let her know that, you’d be ‘history’ before the note made it to the 3rd row…. Yeah, you’re probably right…. See? In a millisecond, we can reach out and touch… Get with the millennium….
K, give ya that one… but what about meals as a family.. Watching the tube together.. Going on visits with your folks, to see loved ones… My mother and father have access to the internet ALL day long.. I ‘touch’ them often.. Just to say “:hey, I love you.”… My grandma, in Sheboygan, she’s “with it” as far as the internet.. In fact… I just took a pic of me and my new boyfriend and emailed it to her between classes… she’s already emailed back “well, you’re right uptown now!”… How longa drive is it to Sheboygan? How much did it cost you to call her?
Ok… not bad.. how about snail mail? Hah, gotya there… It’s tons more fun to get a card in the mail insteada a GD “E card”… ya know? Ok, Victor… Let’s be honest here.. I read you blog about you ‘owing’ your Aunt in Jeff City about 54 birthday cards… Am I right? I’m sorry, what were we discussing?… Uh huh, what I thought.. Do you know that I ‘touch’ all my aunts on New Years Day, Valentine’s Day, St. Patty’s Day, Easter, Cinco De Mayo, Mother’s Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving AND Christmas via “E Cards”? And HOW MANY snail mail cards have you sent this past year?
Were you aware, in the time it took you to drive across town to visit your friends, I coulda already called and congratulated my friend Shea, clicked in to see how Sarah was feeling, buzzed Naomi to tell her I love her… and, of course, called Sean to tell him he was the hottest thing since Tabasco Sauce?… Yeah but, I got Koolaid and cookies…
And you made some smartass comment about the “grounded 7th grader who already knows what he wants to do jobwise.”… HAVE YOU SEEN “ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER” and if so, will you admit to being a little humiliated? How does this stackup to your jar fulla dead lightning bugs? HOW can you compare “whiffle ball, hide-n-seek, operation-Monopoly to cha-ching, understanding a 401K and the magic of compound interest?” Yeah but… you’ve never seen the view of chasing Susie Smith from behind…. I rest my case…
AND… in the time you spent “exploring” to come up with a GD (gosh darn) crawdad, our surfing unveils what’s going on at the Gaza Strip, CNN Headlines, an update on the War in Iraq, followed by a thirty minute study of the Shiite/Sunni conflict, AND how to tune up a 1999 Honda Accord. So how’s your hands smell from that crawdad now?
And PROGRESS… “little bitty towns being proud, not wanting to reach out and build, butt up agin’ the next town.”.. In a 30 minute jaunt, I can get my nails done, pickup a pizza, rent three movies, pay my water bill, grab Herb’s suits from the cleaners, buy bread from the bread store, have my favorite cappuccino, and get the right sized drill bit… you can have your pastures of unmowed grass….
And this “right on time” crap.. We’re aheada time… we do in an hour what took you weeks.. We learn by 6th grade, the knowledge you graduated with.. We can dial up Aunt Rose in Kokomo for FREE when it usedta cost you arm/leg… We can ‘tivo’ our favorite show, watch it when we’re damn well ready to, when you usedta haveta leave a gathering to catch Andy and Barney.. And I TOO can watch Andy and Barney, anytime I wanna…
And I bet when you usedta go visiting, to the drive in, to downtown KC, u spent hours making wrong turns, using wasted gas, and having tempers flare.. Welcome to GPS you old codger.
(Ahm… could you excuse me a sec? I’ve got to go use the little boys room… ‘right on time‘…gulp, love, Victurd)
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