I have to address that. Hopefully one or two of you have enjoyed the feeble attempts at humor here - so, take a night off... Maybe catch a Ray Romano rerun - a ballgame, or that dude's straight up hair on Home Makeover. (Walked into restaurant one night... someone told me I looked like that guy... I wasn't sure whether to slap them or kiss them..)
Getting rid of Maynard. I hope that's not the way it ends. Many have told me to usher Maynard out the door - and admittedly, my patience has been tested on many, many occasions.
July 3rd, 1985 I received a call early in the morning at work (Eastern Airlines) - "My water has broken." Of course I did the normal husband-soon-to-be-father stuff... I probably put 50 peoples lives in jeopardy as I drove home from the airport @ 85 MPH weaving in and around 'limit' speedgoers.
Frantically ran into house - all was calm. Best friend Ellen was there, and "she" seated at the kitchen table, calm as could be. That all helped. Hell, I had a buddy that had-a kid and they sincerely had to tranquilize him - the dad-to-be.
I musta calmed down a bit myself - because it's said we stopped at the McDonald's a half mile from the Hospital so I could engulf a sausage-egg-n-cheese biscuit, a fog, I don't remember.
Water broken, checked in - but not dilating fast enough. Put on labor inducing meds via IV. All-of-a-sudden there was a stir when a nurse looked at the heart monitors and hustled out the room. Suddenly there were 7 medical people in the room - and at least two of them were the big-big buck-makers.
"Ma'am, your umbilical cord is wrapped around your son, cutting off his circulation... we're going to have to do an emergency C-Section." Her calmness prior rubbed off on me - but now she was shaking almost hysterically, and understandably so... Not a thing I could do, other than to try to be calm myself so as not to complicate her worries...
In walks the anesthesiologist. Whatever he was paid - it wasn't enough. Within three minutes - he had her calmed down - completely understanding "everything is Ok.. this is more precautionary - you'll be just fine - and so will your son."
By choice - I didn't go observe - and come to think of it - wasn't sure I was even asked. Said our goodbyes - rolled her off into the labor/surgical room and the nurse escorting said "we'll be back in a second with your son!"
The procedure was fast - but it seemed like a full week. I've had some magical moments in my life. Seeing my wife the night after our first date was one. Being elected Student Council President in HS was another.. Coaching the college women's basketball team to the Missouri State Championship was another. There've been a few.
The nurse walked out with this bundle. Inside was my son. MY son. "You're wife is just fine, your son is too - in fact - would you like to carry him down to the nursery?"... "Yes... yes, I'd love that." It was a feel that words can't simply describe. Better than any drive-in date, birthday "present" from her, striking out the side, two home runs in one game, Sale's Award... anything. It was better than anything.
My son's got a good heart. He's made some mistakes - and he occasionally demonstrates behavior I am not too fond of... I still "talk". I know he listens, he just doesn't always adhere to suggestions.
I thank God I've been blessed with fairly decent patience - for he has pushed me beyond the normal limits of mankind. No I ain't a fucking hero, and yes, perhaps he would have been better off with a dad demonstrating a more militaristic approach. It ain't me. My most recent lifestyle (looking for any/all reasons to get the hell outta the house) have perhaps not been very good role modeling. Overall, I pray calmness, hopefully treating people with respect - I hope "my way" wins out.
Someone once told me... "I would go to hell for my child... but if my child wants to go to hell... I won't/can't stand in their way." Believe me I've wanted to move to Florida - saying "screw the equity"... "screw the son"... "I'll take the easy way out." Easy would be leaving and not being involved. Oops, did I say that? Yes, I guess I did.
He's still my bundle, always will be.. and yes, I've put my longterm-relationship life on temporary hold due to our struggles. I don't think I'd ever "get rid of Maynard."... I realize the "get rid of Maynard" could have been said somewhat in jest but if it wasn't, I'd never seriously consider hooking up with someone who suggested I do so. I couldn't ask that of "her" - whoeverinthehell she is.
4 comments:
Yes, getting rid of Maynard was said in jest. But seriously, do you honestly think a 45-ish, rich blonde would contact you--or was that said in jest also? I have gone to the edge of hell with my son and because I never gave up on him, we have a wonderful relationship and he turned out OK. The most wonderful sound I ever heard was my son laughing and crying at the same time when his daughter was born. Maynard will find his way.
Believe me I've wanted to move to Florida - saying "screw the equity"... "screw the son"... "I'll take the easy way out." Easy would be leaving and not being involved. Oops, did I say that? Yes, I guess I did.
Vic, perhaps the easy way is to continue being an enabler. The road less traveled is always the most difficult.
Thanks Anon. That, after reading, really makes sense. I do feel I am getting closer to that turn in life as well. Something's too good here, this is all coming together like a jig-saw puzzle.
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