Ophelia Fanny

My father never ate ice cream 'cause his tongue was always in his cheek. That -> Ophelia Fanny, he always said, was to be my name if I were a girl. With the exception of his always mispronounced "Victurd", I never had a nickname. My weak comeback was to call him (Bud) 'Butt'.

Yes, society is filled with folks having real names such as Ben Dover, Anita Mann, Etta Burger, Dick Hertz, Bobbit, etc, etc.

Why folks name their children Richard and then call them Dick I'll never know. Witness the Eaton family. Or, my cross country coach in High School: would you believe Dick Leeker? True. Richie Leeker? Rich Leeker, Richard Leeker? Nope, he went by Dick. He was a positive role model for us punks though, glass was always half full, hehe.

Where I work, we move military member's personal crap allover. Names, names, names. Occasionally you'll get an email from a co-worker saying "checkout 3104772" (our registration number for the member.) The most recent email came from a chicky and was followed by "hee hee." Simple last name, Woodcock, but twas a fun moment taking away the normal stresses of the day. I emailed her back and said "I wonder if he and the Mrs could start a fire without matches?"

Plenty of Ho's in the military. My favorite was Phat. Kid where I taught High School was Rick Shaw (say it real fast, kinda highpitched). Longtime KC Chief's football photographer: Rusty Nail. There is (or was) an OBGYN in Kansas City, yes, Harry Beavers. I delivered mail to Me Hurr. Schoolmate to Stormy Persons and the two Biggerstaff brothers. Anita Little got divorced and became Anita Wolf. Knew the Klitgaard family. Kept the phone number to my lawyer in my billfold (Justin Case). Lady at work in account's payable that takes care sending checks to our vendors is Mai-Ling.

If either of you that read this has come across some 'real' good ones, I'd love to hear. Thanks - Happy Saturday, Victurd.