Spirit..............

I've hesitated writing about this for fear of people thinking I'm nuts, then I remembered I really don't care.

My, like all grandbabies, are the best. I have three. When it was announced the second was to be born, I thought "there's no way you're going to love this kid like the first grandbaby." You do. You just do.

I'm not good at bonding during infancy. For whatever reason, holding an infant who appears to have no cognizance of your togetherness - while sure, it's awesome - to me, there's nothing like that bonding when they are up on two feet - ya get down on the floor and it's katy bar the door fun, for each.

Such is the case of my newest grandbaby - Bella, she will be two in July.

Bella is special, just like your kids, grandkids, my other two grandkids.

She really is unique though. There are literally only two times when she grumps: when she's hungry, and when she's tired/in need of a nap/rest. That's it (at least this far into her life.)

She takes off, she falls, she turns to peek to see if you saw - you smile, she returns a 'melt me' happy smile. I get there, she runs to grab, hand me anything that ain't attached to anything. I know I've written of her before, but you're stuck. Her smiles affords "forget all the ills of land, life is good, fun, I'm going 60 mph until I eventually drop."

Her smile erases anyone watching's bad mood instantaneously - and it is there, All. The. Time..

Here's where I'm maybe nuts. When she runs and does something, then turns to look and flashes that smile, I "see, sense, my sister." My sister has been deceased for quite some time. When she was around a little one, her eyes opened very, very wide, her face drew wonderfully long, her lips 'talked' to whatever little one was present - it was quite a sight to behold, just watching her, watching little ones. Perhaps why she made a career out of La Petite Academy. A child's happiness was her happiness, and it was tenfold when it was blood.

I 'see her', I 'feel her', I sense her. Nuts, maybe I am, I dunno.

In a virtual 'battle' as to who liked little ones more, my former mother inlaw (also deceased quite some time) ran neck and neck with my sister. I loved her like blood. She had a fun, mischievous side - and she ALWAYS 'teamed' in favor of the little one(s). She would get down on the floor with the best of them until the very day her body stopped affording her to do so.

Bella, the special, wonderful, killer smile grandbaby of mine (I know, I remember, YOURS TOO are that) does this thing where she runs, presses her lips together and sends out a "phhhffttt". Hard to type it out, but, it's a quick retort, I suppose similar to a baby fart - it speaks (very funly) 'hogwash, nonsense' - and I "see", "feel", Granny (my former mother inlaw) there, smiling, returning a "phhhffttt" for each and every mischievous "phhhffttt" Bella evokes. Why, she (Granny) even instigates 'em. She's "there", I "see her", I "feel her."

I've not Googled anything about spirits, ghosts (and I hate the word 'ghost', an immediate negative connotation - and my sister and my mother inlaw were NOT negative at all - they spiced up life, and they each put the child in the forefront.)

Am I simply (and wonderfully) stuck in memory... do you believe in spirits?... Wishful thinking?.. Maybe it's the comparable "WOO WHOO" take on life. Has this ('seeing', sensing', 'feeling' the presence of a loved one gone), happened to anyone else? Even if it is simply a memory of good times past - to me it's wonderful...

Bella is very much like two of my favorite people EVER. I think of Folger's "good to the last drop" when I think of her take on life. My sister and my mother inlaw shared, demonstrated that take as well.

Neither ever met Bella, but somehow I feel they have.

I 'see', I 'feel', maybe I'm nuts.

A hundred kajillion times better than the "cardinal from heaven" they talk about that lands in one's backyard.

Love, Victurd