At Sprouts the other day. If ya ain't got Sprouts in your neck of the woods, they are "neighborhood grocery stores that offer thousands of natural, organic & gluten-free foods."
I've noticed, looking down of late - my belly growing in increasing size. I love me some oranges. Tangerines are the favorite, but the only ones I've seen this time year must be gold filled as they are darn, darn, expensive. Poor planning and a measly Social Security check tell me "dream on Victor", so, I pass on them.
Mandarins, "2 bags for $5." THAT, I can handle. I didn't wanna buy two as I can't eat that many that fast and them little critters get squishy and rotten pretty darn fast. That said, I bought the "2 for". As anticipated, I'd eaten a little over half of them - kept 'em in a bowl in the living room reminding me "Eat these Victor or they will spoil."
They eventually did, I eventually tossed them in the trash in the kitchen.
Not long after, fruit flies. Do they like traverse up and down the block and one finally yells to the resta the crew "Hey, DOWN HERE Ralph, this house has tons of rotten fruit!"?? Ralph and the boys have been flying around for a few days, and I'd forgotten I'd tossed the mandarins in the trash in the kitchen, versus getting off my butt to take them out to the real trash.
Googling "howinthehell do you get ridda fruit flies" I was astonished to learn "Create a trap by mixing apple cider vinegar with a few drops of dish soap." Not trusting Al Gore's invention all that much, I tried several more links, only to learn, "uh huh, works."
So, to the Piggly Wiggly. "Ahm, what aisle is vinegar on?" "Number 1, about halfway down on the right." Already low on dish soap, I stopped there along the way. There is Primo (help pay for my National ads) Dish Soap, Best Choice Dish Soap, and Always Save Dish Soap. Oh for the day cost didn't matter - but, again, fixed income... I once bought a box of Always Save Vanilla Wafers (the cheapest of the brands) and they literally tasted like cardboard, so I opted for the next step up, Best Choice. Also got a small bottle of Best Choice Apple Cider Vinegar. (A buddy and his wife had recommended I drink that, "helps your health, digestion, yada." We shall see. I don't have any clothespins (Does anyone still?) so I might buy some and try that one day as the smell of it makes me wanna upchuck.
I gleefully sped home, knowing, in a matter of minutes, I'd have them little bastards swimming (for a minute or so anyways) in the cider/soap Sea.
I just walked by, there are 8 of them. Idiots. They are the Vic Schultze's of the fruit fly world. Why do you say that? Because I have a tendency to jump into an idea, a suggestion, a want, without first thinking over the ramifications of that jump.. Bit me in the butt more than a time or two in my life. So, ye 8 of little regard for temptation, are now floating in the Cider Soap Sea.
Others, hovering around, observing.. "Did you see what that dumb ass Ralph did? He jumped right into that poison concoction. Jeesh, idiot." I will ultimately buy some kinda spray to kill the resta them critters. I ain't got any pets it might harm. I can't have dogs here, and they want a $300 deposit for a cat, scroll to measly Social Security Check.
That's it. That's all for today. The message is, if you see, hear of an idea that sounds really cool - hover your ass above it for awhile, look out to see if there are dumbass Ralph's anywhere in view - and what he/they might do, before you make your decision to jump.
There are now fitteen of 'em in there. Followers. My father, whom I loved dearly, always said to me "you seem to be a follower."
Don't follow too close (one car length per ten mph), keep your eyes wide open, watch for Ralph (and falling rock). If you go to Vegas, ignore the lights, music, cha ching noise.. fold your money in half to double it, and don't stay at The Mirage.
Love, Victurd
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