The long and winding road........

Life, for most, is a long and winding road...

As we traverse that road, we do so at different speeds, different types of roads, different (or no) passengers..

And, different destinations.. Much of the below is from an article from The Guardian (no author listed) and another article by Grace Bluerock - apologizes for borrowing, but I think it looms large for us today, my opine.

Hospice is a tough word to hear, swallow...

Taking a positive, how can we learn from those that have experienced it?

Studies relate, the number one misgiving about the road behind, particularly among men, was "I wish I wouldn't have worked so hard." There is much to be said for this - sure, for many, it's a choice - but for most, I think anyways, the realization of same doesn't come until it's too late. "I missed ball games, birthdays, events with friends, school functions, even plain ole middle of the week dinners - due to work. Yes, there is 'material' to show for it, but right here, right now, how important is that?"

"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." Dreams passed up, sidestepped, while health was good, the realization of same much too late.

"I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings." This is not a problem for some, but I feel suffice to say, we see this day in, day out - and, then again, we CAN'T see it festering within from some folks. Lessen learned though.

"I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends." Color me guilty. I do have friends that scoff at the fact I'm on Facebook - and quite frankly, I don't really care. For me, it's a rush to see a post, remember that person, remember moments we had together - a great rear view mirror for the long and winding road.

"I wish I that I had let myself be happier." The author went on to say "Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again." There is maybe a touch of "I wish I would have been mated differently" - but to me, MORESO, I wish I woulda had the watoosies to allow me to be me, even within my relationship - or any relationship.

"I wish I had been more loving to the people who matter the most." This is huge, and the majority of us are guilty. It's said "we talk the worst to the ones we love the most" - which, from my shoes, after finding a cure for cancer, next on the list should be a 'tonic' to stop us from blurting. Blurt rhymes with hurt, we all do it, and when we do it not only hurts the person we blurted ugly to - but, we tear our own selves up - sometimes for years - in regret.

"I wish I had been a better spouse, parent, or child." The good news is, it's "NOW", so we all can (re)start on this one today.

"I wish I had taken more risks." Fear of failure grabs us all (or at least the vast majority.) One patient Grace spoke of, learned his terminal diagnosis, 60-something year old man with prosthetic leg, a desire for adventure, then jumped from an airplane at 15,000 feet at a rate of 115 mph. "Greater than anything I've done before." Adding to that, it's suggested we make a list, and one by one conquer, cross off. Our happiness, and comfort zones should expand dramatically.

"I wish I had taken better care of myself." Wow, I know that one. I've been a victim (due to my own doings) of "Oh, I'll start (eating better, sleeping more, pay more attention to my health, etc) TOMORROW." For most, it then becomes too late, hence the advice of the hospice person.

"I wish I'd have done more for others." We all need work here - but, all of us have done something good for others, and not only does it make them feel better, it works that way on us too. Doesn't have to be a monetary thing... words, nifty ones, can (and do) loom large.

I rambled on and on with the above, was gonna stop - then I read the last one, so figured I'd share

"I wish I had chosen a work field that was meaningful for me." Thankfully, I did that (teaching/coaching) and then I left the field. Duh me. I do feels this plays large... besides the punch,cake, well wishes - most occupational ends aren't all that meaningful to ourselves. And this is where I get to play grumpy old man - this is all the more magnified when one is displaced.

Regrets, we all have a few - but, we ain't none to old to learn from experience of those who near the end of the long and winding road.

Old dogs, new tricks........

Love, Victurd