Howdy…..

It's me it's me it's Ernest T.

It's actually Victor. Writing from work. You see, AT&T(on home computer) is telling me my password ain't right, thus, I can't logon from home. I gots this book with their "24/7 tech support" 800#, and they keep telling me "this office is now closed, please call back during regular business hours." Hmmph..

So, the minutes of logging on are sacred, and few and far between.

Got'ta thinking about struggles. There's mebbe only one thing in life I enjoy more than people watching, and I'll leave that up to you as to whether it’s: play softball, chat with librarians, wait in line at Mickey D's, fry up some liver n' onions, or 'that'. Yeah, ya know me by now don'tya….

It's amazing to me to observe folks in their struggles of just making it through life – and in doing so, they forget it's a struggle.

At court with my son yesterday.. Lawyer already told us "today will be our final continuance" – so, I didn't even sit in. Instead I waited outside, occasionally puffing away. Old man, mebbe 70-something. Decided limp. I wondered to myself what had caused it. War injury? Car wreck? Bone disease? Football injury?.. He adapted. Slower, yet on he went. With every step since suffering this injury, I'm certain he’s less and less attuned to the struggle.

Piggly Wiggly. I bemoan much – too much probably, in life. I bemoan the fact Maynard ain't gotta car yet (thus me being at the Piggly Wiggly), I bemoan the fact he's angry much of the time, and I occasionally feel sorry for myself that I'm still kinda-sorta responsible for a 23 year old. Then I saw her. This lady. Mebbe 65. Pulled in. Not into the handicap spot, but right next to it. She got out, as did her son. Early 40-something, and obviously mentally retarded. I felt kinda silly for all my "bemoans."

Here this lady is devoting her entire lifetime so this man can live in a 'normal, free environment', usurping her own 'normal' – certain it's been a struggle… but now it' "a way....the way." I'm very certain the minute it was known the child had problems, it was a HUGE struggle. Now, less and less is thought of the stuggle, and you make do with life.

For me, it makes it easier to make it through life when you see things that rock the degree of your own ills back into perspective. No, sometimes it ain't how I'da painted it. No, it's not the exact vehicle I woulda bought could I have picked anything I want. No, I'm not sleeping with Elisabeth Shue. Yes, I steer clear of the mirror more and more as I age age age. I abhor digital cameras that detect and display every nook and cranny. I'd love to go home at night and hear "nothing." Absolutely "nothing."

But we go on. Life’s struggle becomes the way. Everyone struggles. Too, we won't always walk with the monkey on our back.. Sometimes it feels like it's a gorilla back there. Sometimes a chimp. Sometimes the little spider monkey. I remember being at World's of Fun one day with like 4 kids and whatshername. Maynard was mebbe two at the time. In between people watching, and kid watching, I didn't see Maynard. I freaked. High. Low. Here. There. No Maynard. Crap. Frantically ran up to whatshername. "HAVE YOU SEEN MAYNARD?".. She smiled. He was on my back, legs around my neck. My hands held him safely above. Sadly true. Monkey on my back, not aware of the struggle.

Herm Edwards, coach of the Kansas City Chiefs.. They’re going thru an era where they're replacing older players with younger ones. Fittingly, after a bad loss last year where the other team’s vets clearly outshone the wet-behind-the-ears Chiefs, Edward responded to a reporter's question with "GET OVER IT. DEAL WITH IT."

Struggles happen. How we respond, how we walk with the monkey on our back directly relates to the quality of our life.

Yesterday I yanked two truckloads from this broker we have downstairs. There was a snafu, and I was told "call them off." This meant money out of this man's pocket. Work he'd done for naught. Knowing him, I knew I wouldn't hear screams into my ear. He understands there are struggles.

I thanked him for not going off the deep end. "I probably woulda." He wrote back "I don’t ship transplant organs and nothing else is worth getting that upset about. I learned a long time ago that I get much better results and help when I am nice versus blowing up on someone. Its just not worth it anyway. I wouldn't want someone to treat me like that so I don't teat people like that." He wasn't letting that gorilla back there get to him. Perty cool. I gots to remember not to allow it to bother me. I will say, Maynard, at 23 weighs hella more than he did though!

Happy day. Good luck in making it though your struggles. Unfortunately, we all got 'em. Some worse than others. Most temporary. Loveya, Victurd.