HEATWAVE!

Haha. Nanny nanny boo boo. You thought it was gonna be another stupid lyrog, lyricblog, whatever u call it. Victor, who’s to say this won’t be stupid. Yeah, prolly right.

I see yard needs outma window, I remember the car ride home from work today with no air.. sweat.. Hot.. Heat.. Heatwave…

No thank you weedeater, Briggs and Stratton, not today. Don’t take it personally.

Weather, thankfully, gives us bitchers, something to bitch about! Living in the Midwest, we can bitch a lot ‘cause the weather is ever-changing. I can’t fathom living in San Diego year round, waking up and saying “damnit… nice again.’

Victor, are you gonna, yet again, throw caution in the wind? WIND? It ain’t windy, it’s a GD HEATWAVE.. Although.. Strong wind can allowya to bitch too. HEY, I didn’t want the inside lane of Interstate… PUT ME BACK~!.. Damnit, there wenta section of my wooden fence! I say I say, I’m talkin’ heat son… and about the caution… mebbe.

As I sit, shirt off, fan straight on me (don’t get too excited about the shirt off thing, I am fitty-five you know).. And stare outside at Hot… I giggle, and thinka scraping the windshield in the winter.. Of going 45 in a 65 in a torrential downpour.. Of monitoring the TV to see if I need to go to the basement in onea our tornado watches…Of how sore my back gets from shoveling 6 inches of snow, and how hot you can get in the winter doing so. Victor, I NEVER see you shoveling snow? Of driving on frozen over, snow packed driveways, falling like a stooge as I make the transition from sidewalk to stoop.

Of seeing summer slip through the hourglass.. And frost on the pumpkin around the corner…..

YES, YES, YES (he said to himself).. Self, don’t bitch and moan about the heat cause in 6 months, you’ll pray for it. Don’t bemoan a heat wave when there are times you sit inside bored, shirtless again, with the constant rain…

But I like to bitch! And dayum is it hot! I am thankful for the day. My friend at work, she'd give anything for her dad to see the day. He left us last week.

I try to look at a day like today and remember as kids riding our bike to the park to play Indian ball for hours… taking short breaks to the water spicket.. Or whiffle ball in the front yard.. With a thirty minute break to suckup some AC…

You were a kid once, what’d u do for fun in the Heatwave? Swim pool? Puhhhllleeeasse don’t say “went to the library”.. although if you did, I bet ur makin’ hella more bank than I. Don’t take much though!

Honestly, I love the feeling of sweat. Tomorrow, mebbe for the last time, we will trudge on the field in the 3pm heat for a double-header. We’re so old collectively, when the whippersnappers are up 8 on us after four innings, the heat is bearing down.. It hurts JUST to walk on, off the field… we’ll silently, collectively, pray for the “ten run rule.” Then, BEER under the canopy thingy we constructed just on the other sidea right field!

On the way home today.. Driving thru the neighborhood, I “atta boy”ed three times on kids who were out in it, enjoying it, ignoring it. I hope, from their shoes, they’ll one day look back on that time as wondrously as I.

I wonder what 98 degrees feels like when you’re 70? 80? Would it help limber up them arthritic joints? Will I still even remember what whiffle ball is? Surely I’ll be retired from slowpitch…. Won’t I? (Two for three last weekend, but who’s counting) YOU ARE VICTOR. Hehe, I know, can’t help it, I haven’t broken a hip.. I haven’t struck out (ya haveta buy beer for the team if you do).. No hamstring pulls.. No ER visits. Life, heat wave, is good.

We might not like the temp….. the job…. The setting……… the company……. The music… the accompanying aches and pains of aging… emotional setbacks.. Wants ya can’t get.. heat waves..

Yet, we can always love the day. And I do. Here’s hopin’ u do as well. Oh, and if you happen to be female… I’ve noticed, it seems to help them chickies I see in the Piggly Wiggly when they don’t wear quite as much during this heat wave. So take it off… Dress down.. Cleav it up.. Hehe.. Victor, you’re a prevert… Like I say (OH I HATED WHEN WHATSHERNAME SAID THAT).. Er, as I say, love the day.

Here’s to shoveling snow, crappy music, ugly people, people who look like models, in betweeners, no AC, whiffle ball, slowpitch, up moods, down moods, one for five, three for four, moms, dads, kids, water, health, rain, thirsty lawns, thirsty old softball players, and heatwaves. It’s all good. Loveya, Victurd.