Ahm, no. In addition to the "new me" exercise program - I haven't given up drinking. In fact - damn - I could use one.
Life's been flyin' along pretty decently actually - and then Friday the bastards @ the Mortgage Company included in their email "well... since the repairs to your house are taking longer than we anticipated, you probably should go ahead and make your November house payment." (The one they told me I could skip.) Shit. Damn. Darn. Shucks.
Dirty laundry - hell, we all get skid marks.... don't we? Whatshername usedta get soooo pissed when I'd mention aloud anything about our family/money/lack thereof..."See this shirt - it only cost $9" - followed by a stinging punch in the back to my kidney! screw that - I'm posting my woes on the internet!
I had $882.13 socked away - thinking "hell yeah, no house payment until December. Money for the boat, the bar, maybe even Kohl's clearance rack. I can dig it."
Oh shit. <-- every time I say that, I think of the way an Oriental says it.. makes it a little more impactive! Oh shit!...
Ok, so.. after I make my house payment... ahm.. take away.. drop the number down one.. ahm, that leaves me with $96.07 till payday Friday. Criminy. And, the rotten little bastard hasta come back and re-appraise all my repairs and my bathroom floor ain't got flooring. Oh shit.
Home Depot.. Ahm ma'am? At .47 cents per square foot, ifn's I do 12' x 5', that'd only be about $30 wouldn't it?.. So.. we pick out the rug... she lowers the roll for closer inspection - and now ready to cut.. WAIT - this stuff is GREEN.. I painted my bathroom red - that ain't gonna work - I thought it was black... Well, we do have some black - hang on.. She turns the automaticcarpetspinnerthingy to the black carpet.. GD, $.54 cents per square foot. This means, either I ain't havin' cigs, beer, food, or - the cats will just have to wait to payday to eat. Ok, cut me off somea that stuff.. Need some glue? (Vi$ion$ of dollars going thru my head).. Ahm, no.. that's ok, I'll staple that crap in...
Fifty-eight dollars and nine cents. Gotta drive 60 miles round trip 4 days, eat, drink, and try to be merry. Emergency Fund? Everyone has an emergency fund don't they? Well sure... Mine? Well.. at night I place my change ontopa my dresser.. when times get tight - I peek in my sock drawer and collect up all the pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters that mighta slipped into the sock drawer... jualah - my emergency fund.
To Price Chopper for "this weeks groceries"... aka, a jara peanut butter and a loafa bread. WHATTTTT? $.75 for the cheap stuff? Last time I was here it was $.69 cents.
Hey - at least Skippy is on sale - YEAH! $2.61 sir and you saved 19 cents... Screw you lady - you raised your friggin bread price 6 cents, I didn't save shit.
Let's see, take away... drop down.. I've got Fitty-five-fitty-five left. Oh shit. I forgot to do laundry. There's no way.. AHA. New double washers for only $2.00! Yeah! I packed and I packed clothes in there - and then I packed s'more.. YES, YES, the door actually shut! (Ahm, ya might not wanna get to close to me this week if you work with me.)... $.75 each for the two dryers... Fitty-two-o-five left.
Twenty dollars in gas Monday morning will get me through 'til I can writea hot check Thursday for gas/cigs (then, automatic payroll deposit Thursday night)... Hey Vic, we're going to Applebees for lunch - wanna come along? Ahm, does the cashier still have those five cent mints? Ah - no thanks, I got some tidbits I gotta do, gonna work thru lunch...
$32.05 left til Thursday... one packa cigs in car. Three days, no beer. Sum'bitch. THE EMERGENCY FUND!!... YES, YES.. ok.. so... a dime, a nickel, two pennies... Thirty-two-twenty-two left. Here kitty kitty.. why don't you go out in the garage and see if there are any mice out there?.. hehe..
HEY WAIT! THE OFFICE POOL.. I haven't checked my numbers... The Chiefs were miserable.. but maybe I lucked out.. It's $75 for halftime, $150 for final score.. Ahm.. I had.. 8-9... 4-6.. 5-5.. Oh, great numbers... Lemme see.. halftime.. GD, the vice president won... like HE needs it... Ok, final score.. 13-10. Oh noooo, come on.. The President? Shit, there's a weeks gas for his Lincoln Navigator. Criminy.. Will they remember my name at the bar? What will a day without cigs be like?
Oh shit, I'm a chocolate mess... I'm so thirsty, I'd even drink a plain ole' Budweiser... at least I got peanut butter and bread... WHAT???? CRUNCHY?? I DIDN'T BUY CRUNCHY.. you only get HALF as many sandwiches with crunchy... GD-it.. (Gosh darnit).. Actually - this has been a good experience.. my eyes have slowed down to appreciate things more... Me thinks the poor people (likes me) appreciate life justa tad more.. Believe me - I do... I can already taste that beer I'm gonna have Friday.
Whether you are rich or poor - I hope that doesn't have anything to do with money. Dirty laundry, with Love, Victurd$
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