Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Amber Alert? Lost baby?

Well, no, not actually - but I have reduced this fat bod from 214 to 207.. so ain't 7 lbs about whata baby might weigh? Kudos to me? Not no's, but hells no's... It's a lane I've been down before (though this has been the most 'pregnant' I've ever been)... Life here in the cyclical lane...

So, question. Just whereinthehell do those pounds go? I looked on highway 291.. I checked out Lee Drive.. I peeked under my bedcovers.. Shook my sweat pants.. I can't find 'em.. I ain't been poopin' any more/any less.. TV ads say, at my age, I should watch to see if I pee too frequently – nope – ain’t been doin' that… It ain't like that guy on Subway where he peels off his face, fat body suit and you can see it laying on the floor.. Hell, we need medical help here.. CJ? Where do lost pounds go? To the 'lost and pound'? WHEREINTHEHELL IS CJ? (You put the lime in the Corona you drink it all up you put the lime in the Corona and call me in the morning –ooooh oh uuuhhh, I said DOCTOR)…

And, it's been like 7 years since my last weight-lifting-cardio binge...Ahm, then, when I looked in the mirror I thought "hell yeah baby… you GOT it"... This time I look in the mirror – and I see an old guy trying to fool nature.. Mirror says "give it up you old codger – won't be long before your walkin' around with a load in your drawers and you won’t even know it..." Oh well, working out does make one feel a little better… The hardest part is quite frankly opening the front door to go - BUT

I read – if one exercises cardiovascularly (did I spell that crap right) for THREE hours in a week – then one actually GROWS new brain neurons... Hey – this may be the ticket… Workout/make a few brain cells – go have a beer/kill a few brain cells, and get up and do it allover again! Hell, I may live through five or six wives – ya never know… "Welcome to WalMart – damn baby, didn't I see you at Bingo last night? Mercy - you gotta nice booty. Wanna take a 50 mph ride down Interstate in the left lane with our turn signal on?"

Ok, it's time for "The Seasonal Seven." Seven pounds, that's the average weight gain between Thanksgiving and the New Year... What the hey we needs the Holidays.. – 'ceptin for our birthday – oh, and shootin' 'em off once a year (oh, and the 4th of July too!) we ain't got much celebration/me/we time in our lives.. I can add those seven – and do that shit allover again… Life, it be cyclical..
Love you very much, love you very much – Victurd.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing those lost pounds went into the Golden-T-Bowling machine thingy....or maybe Gladys is wondering why she is gaining weight????

Anonymous said...

I forgot to sign it...C.J.