A day in the life... So I go to my bank account online.. I see "Credit Converted Paper Reject Check #"... I don't know whatinthehell it means, but, jualah - I've got $23 more than what I thought I had in there... yippee... life is again good..
So, bought three packs of cigs for the price of two WITH a $3 off coupon (YES, that's right, I'm sharing my skid marks with the WORLD!) Went and worked out - I sweated my ass off: grunt, groan, lift, press, up, down, ouch, damn, wow, (girl in spandex walked by) huff, puff, grrrr, strain, more sweat, holy shit, (girl in spandex now walking in other direction) drinka water, crunches, I HATE crunches (and Kendra screw you, I did 150 last night) lift, curl, lat, abs, to the elliptical machine - "stand back little missy, you punks nowadays are soft", Twenty minutes I was kickin’ some booty (tooty fruity oh Rudy)..
GOOD LORD (lady in spandex now bending over to get all her belongings, leaving) run, run, run, run, faster, faster, faster, faster, count the calories burned, see the distance mount, huff, puff, cough -cough (oh sorry, I’m a smoker).. run, run, sweat, sweat… grabbed my coat and grabbed my hat - made the bus in seconds flat – oops - sorry - Beatles playing in background..
Go to sauna, sonofabitch I was forced to share with two bikini clad 20-something chickies (oh well, I'll make do) sweat, drip, cough, cough, (sorry, I’m a smoker) huff, puff, and FINALLY relax…
Go to scale.. hey.. what’s up.. it went PAST the 210 mark... no way! S'more and s'more... GD (gosh darn) all I've had to eat is peanut butter and bread... whats the deal Lucille? 214 – again? I give up... I'm retiring.. OH MY GOD (lady in spandex decides not to leave, enters sauna) maybe I will continue this working out.. I feel pretty good (trying to stick chest out past belly)...
andthenofcourseIwenttobarhadfourbeers(no coupons)brokelittlefingerplayingGoldenTbowling - lost to ‘friends’ who made fun and said “wowitsmellslikesomeoneherehasbeenworkingout” - I told them I hated them and they just laughed - I love life, even the bumps-in-the-road (broken finger, bikin-clad-chicks-that-are-way-too-young, spandex woman who has no interest, house payments ya didn’t think you were gonna have to pay – and of course checkenginelights).. Oh well, perhaps one day when I keel and have to be carried in coffin, I will select my Golden T buddies to have to carry my 214 lb fatass hehe, love Victurd
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