Who are those guys?

I don't even remember if Butch Cassidy was in color I'm so old... But I remember them retreating to Bolivia after robbing a bank.... Followed by a band of lawmen that grew, and grew and grew in number... "Who are those guys?"..."Whothehell are those guys?"...

But... can you begin a sentence with but? But sure I can.. The best line of the movie was when they found themselves atop a bigass cliff overlooking a river - no way to turn back (the "who are those guys?" were gaining) and Sundance says.. "I can't jump.. I can't swim."... to which Butch broke out in laughter and responded "Hell.. the fall will probably kill you!"..

The letters and emails have been pouring in... Yes, I'm a liar - but hey, I needed a topic so I picked this... The letters have all been asking "whointhehell is 'talkback'?"... Good question - ain't real sure maself - but, reckon if we gandered at 'em - he might look like:

I picture either Mr. Mooney on the old Lucy show... or, Jonathan Quayle Higgins III from Magnum PI... My alter ego... Talkback is controlled (yeah, maybe whatshername was right - perhaps I am a controller) by my "talkback lock" button on the computer.. I hada $10 off gift certificate to Radio Shack, and I gave it to a geeky IT buddy of mine for coming over and converting my CAP lock button to my 'talkback lock' - so, when I don't wanna hear that fugger - one swoop with the fingertip gets ridda him for awhile...

Talkback could never garden - "What? Me? With dirt under MY fingernails?"... The closest he's ever been to a bass fish is when he once drove over the Missouri River.. His clothes are superbly pressed - and his eyebrows raised when he sees otherwise on anyone else.. He's the exact opposite of Ludacris - or perhaps, Larry The Cable Guy...

His idea of dinner is with no less than five utensils per setting atop a fine linen table cloth... He's tighter than hell with his money... and insteada a baseball card collection - he's got tickets to Pavarotti concerts he's attended framed...

There is no room for reason or resonance of ideas bouncing off his brain - there is one way, and only one way to do things. He rides with me in the car - and upon occasion when I veer over in the right lane as the casino approaches - he bellows an "OH GOOD GOD" disgust belch - but.. the Larry the Cable guy in me wins out - and I go on in and git 'er done...

We all have Talkbacks and Larry the Cable Guys in our 'closet'... Every move we make - every breath we take - we are challenged by how we will respond to life's pitches. Do we refuse to swing and try to get on base the easy way - or do we lay down the perfect bunt and run like hell, diving in headfirst across the dirt en route to first?

Talkback is there - perhaps - for balance.. i consider myself of completely average intelligence - nothing more... Talkback - and I'm glad the fucker can't hear this - talkback gives me a reason, a hope for "I CAN do this.. I AM smart enough... It IS the wise thing to do.." That doesn't creep out often - but it's down in there somewhere.

Larry the cable guy on the other hand, tells me "Fuck it, let's go to the boat... you can mow the yard tomorrow.. and besides, there's still two Banquet dinners in the freezer for Maynard... wait, better pull in an getta couplea packs of cigs - you know how you light 'em up while ur in there."

Balance... If life were a balance beam - talkback on one side - Larry the cable guy on the other - I fear I've got way too many bruises from falling on the Larry the Cable guy's side... And perhaps not one teensie tiny regret for it...

I wanna live... I wanna love... I wanna see.. I wanna do... I wanna go... All such great verbs... With kudos to Steppinwolf: Get your motor runnin'.. Head out on the highway... Lookin' for adventure - And whatever comes our way.. Yeah Darlin' go make it happen - Take the world in a love embrace - Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space ...Like a true nature's child - We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high - I never wanna die... Born to be wild... Born to be wild...

Sorry talkback, reckon Larry wins. I never liked that Mr. Mooney anyways. Higgins I could stand Ok I guess. Balance. Life is a balance beam. Happy arm quivers. Victurd.