Let's is a contraction meaning "let us." Got my little thingy from the Government yesterday that tells me "if you work until age 62 - here's how much you will get per month... if you work until 65 - it'll be this... and if you work until 70 - here's the amount..."
Holy shit. No, wasn't a Boy Scout - their motto is "Be Prepared". Seen the mishap cartoons about Plan Ahead....
I sharpened my pencil - have got it figured out - if I quit at 62, I'll be able to make my mortgage payment, go to McDonalds twice a week - and to Dairy Queen to buy a Peanut Buster Parfait ONCE a month.
I can be a little more extravagant if I work until 65 - adding the Ponderosa Buffet every other Sunday night.. Why if I worked until 70 - I could do all that AND participate in onea my favorite hobbies and bowl three games a week. (I hope those bastards don't get ridda the bumper bowling in the meantime - I mean hell, I'll be 70.)
I gots two months until I have to give whatshername her portion of the equity in the house she and I own - and Maynard and I live in.. I think it's known I wanna get the hell out - start anew - then I think about sitting down to sign a new mortgage at age 53 - and yessir - "not a problem - you'll have it paid off by the time you're 83."
I think we need a shout out. A shout out to all rummies like myself who haven't invested wisely.. People like me who maybe dipped in along the way when this emergency - or that emergency popped up.. People who have been influenced by the Larry the Cable Guy school of thought "to hell with it, a penny saved is just a damn copper thing that takes up space - let's live along the way." Po, I'm talking po - as in not planning ahead.
Rather than me going to buy small house that would bust my balls financially for the next however many years I'm here - WHAT IF - those of us in that boat (The one with the teenie-tiny slow leak) built a BIGASS complex - circular kinda thing with bedrooms on the outside - dining area, restrooms, living room areas on the inside. So - rather than buy a modest $80-90-100-125,000 house and have the mortgage check eatup what fun you coulda had.... We, the poor non-planning types - have this bigass house, lower mortgage payments, neighbors who kinda-sorta already know each other - and we could party-hearty our way on outta this lifetime.
Bingo, checkers, "bones", Spades, walking track, ONE cable bill, ONE electricity bill, we could pass around Blockbuster DVD's.. if relatives we don't like come to visit - we could have our buds cover for us -> "no.. haven't seen 'em in a week or so."
We could take turns doing laundry.. "Ahm, your next week will be November 12th thru the 18th.."... "You do have to mow the last week in August too." F-in' A Ray. I can dig it she can dig it we can dig it They can dig it, you can dig it
Oh, let's dig it Can you dig it, baby.... (Grazin' in the grass is a gas, baby, can you dig it)....
Of course we'd needa name for this bigass complex. Po Folks is already taken, as is Shady Acres, John Knox... Come on, be creative... helps me out here.. ***Just hada thought*** We could name the house Friends of Distinction. Uppity, we could be uppity in mind. And... of course we could use the grazin in the grass theme song.
Think of the buying power. For you hens (said with love) insteada having to go to Jacque Chong's Nail Place and have 'em sit around and make fun of you in whatever language it is they make fun of you in during a manicure/pedicure - we could contract one to come out and have a "production line" manicure/pedicure at a much lower rate.
We could buy our own Magic Bus. We could have Karaoke night. We could have an "Off limits" room and alternate weekends for Guys Night Out/Girls Night Out.. Can't ya just see us all hell bent for a nighta fun anda trudgin' thataway with our walkers?
Hell, we ARE the 60's. I say we commune it. If there are liberal sorts out there - when dimentia sets in we could even play Musical Bedrooms. I mean what the hey, we wouldn't know any different anyways. Dimentia/Jealousy just don't go together. Think of the Viagra buying power.
Ya got me goin' in circles.. oh oh around and around.. Then again, if you don't like the idea - we can each be financially challenged.. beg/plead with Fido to come help when we fall offa the kitchen chair... Sit around and wait for cataracts to set in... While away the day making a chart and demarking how many age spots we have.
Ok, who's in? Happy day..... Victurd.
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