Blowjobs… I’ve got gas… and apologies…..

Wow - that’s a combo huh? I can just see what your seedy little mind (ok, apologies)… er, wonderful brain has come up with as to the content of this little diddie..

Well it ain’t that exotic – apologies… No, I didn’t fart whilst obtaining fellacio and have to apologize…

Back before band camp – I was watching one of the many national network daily news/talk shows – and they had this chicky on that had begun her own blog… I enjoyed what she had to say – so I went to her site (dooce.com) and began reading… Fun – so much fun to have a peek inside her life from her shoes…

I hadn’t gone back to her site to read in months.. but did so this morn… What began with the intent of simply typing/venting/sharing/creating etched words from her keyboard has escalated into a vehicle that has ads, streamers, etc – to the tune it now pays her family’s mortgage plus a little…

An IT mag reporter was sent to her house to learn how this all evolved – and how she’s gotten to this point where her blog has become the breadwinner for the family. Succinctly, she summed it all up “I had to give lots of head.”

The blowjob could be an entire article – but just gonna touch on it with brevity today… Couplea chicks at work – they value everything in terms of "how many blow jobs?" Night out with the chicks: (1 blowjob)… .. New sterling necklace: (2 blowjobs)… One chicky even made up a “coupon book” for her man’s birthday – included within were three coupons for “bring me this for a blowjob”…. Hehe.

Gas. If you were to look in my little “organizer” black book in my car – there’s great chances there would be some mail from 2005 unopened in there. My strategic, technical method for paying bills is – when I feel like it, when I have real money in the bank, or when they send me one of those bright pink (or yellow, or bright green) little “pay this mo-fo NOW or we’ll cut this little cocksucker off” envelopes.

I had a “holy shit” $197 gas bill a couple of months back… Like most I guess, I struggle with the gas bill in the winter – and the electric bill in the summer… At the time, there was “more bill than money left in the account to make it until the next payday” so I stuck the envelope into my “organizer” – surely I’d look at it again – oh – by Christmas or so…

Time passes, next gas bill arrives.. AHA, it’s only $105… I can handle that.. “I wonder what’d happen if I pay the $105, and NEXT payday I’ll send ‘em the $197. I logon, pay the $105… stick the opened bill including the current $105 and the past due $197 into my organizer – and figure I’ll get too it sometime shortly after Maynard has a job.

Time passes… Apparently, when the next gas bill arrived – the $197 was however many days late – and my payment “trick ‘em” plan didn’t work… “Dad… the guy from the gas company turned off the gas today… he was real nice though”… SHIT. BASTARDS! THOSE FUCKERS DIDN’T SEND ME A BRIGHT COLORED “READ ME OR ELSE” fucking shutoff notice – so… I didn’t notice.

Ever take a cold bath?? We’re talking major shrinkage. So… I immediately logon to the Gas Company’s site.. get out my debit card… zoom pay the $197 past due and the fitty-six dollar one from this month… and dream of a steamy shower the next day… didn’t happen, didn’t happen and didn’t happen.

I don’t have a cell.. I’m not “with it” enough to take $.50 cents to a pay phone – along with their phone number – and call them during business hours… I have a paper thin cubicle here at work – and I’m sureashell not gonna call and be the subject matter of future lunch breaks.. Finally, I did call from the cubicle – and quietly talked to the nice lady about getting it turned back on… Tomorrow – I will take a hot, warm, relaxing bath.

Apologies. If you’ve been here before – you’ve heard me speak of Maynard – and regrettably – my comments probably aren’t too much in positive nature.. Last night we spent the most time together we’d spent in literally 3-4 years and it was good… very good… As a parent, we’re all about “geez, I can’t wait until they learn this.. or that…”… Then, you redfacedly get stuck with a situation where THEY teach you and it’s one of those GD/great moments – and you feel drippy because of thoughts (or blogs) where you’ve been a basher. I know I’ve bashed Maynard – and think oft times it’s simply for venting – so – I apologize… to him… to you…

In ending – another great time of year… transition.. once green – now brown grass will soon have hints of frost… shopping for school… local high school football games around the corner… we only get one chance to live a season during the year – here’s hopin’ we all do our best thru it… hasta la vista baby… bye bye now.. Victurd..