I've always kinda paid attention to numbers... Ain't real sure why... Guess they intrigue me... Today's posting is the 180th posting.. 180... what a cool number..
Your life.... in need of a turnaround?... Eh, mine kinda is... Maynard's very definitely is...
Gracie's oldest completes his Navy Basic Training this week.. talkabouta 180.. way cool..
Maynard, supposedly, is moving to Branson this weekend with his best bud Devon... Might just be the best thing to ever happen to him.. I've prayed and prayed the day will come and I will awaken to him being 24... A little less than three years to go to that.. Getting the hell outta Dodge could be the impetus he needs for some semblance of normalcy...
Apologies for zilcho attempts at humor today... And, sure, I know this is boring crap.. but hey, it's my life... and I hear tell that's the purpose of a blog... I've been on a 3-4 year run of reasonable disinterest in life - having little concern for those around me (not with intent)... reasonably selfish in my ways... I don't wake up to "Do I have to?" - it's more like - "Ok, today's here.. here I go." I needs me a 180 penchant for excitement. I love my son - and my son is not to blame for my weakass testimony there - but - it could be a good thing for us to part for awhile.. good for each of us...
And howabout you... yes you... the reader... have you had moments in your life where you needed a 180? Did you make it all the way? Do you need a change now? Is there someone you pray for change? Have you known snotnoses that have gone down the wrong path only to emerge on victory lane? (Please tell me "yes -yes - yes")...
Ok, that was 180. Notta very interesting blog - but what the hey. Maybe it's my blog menstruation... hehe... I dunno... anyways.. I loveya for being here, reading - and if you're undergoing - or about to - a 180... besta luck to ya.. life IS good... Happy day, Victurd..
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Let's.......
Let's is a contraction meaning "let us." Got my little thingy from the Government yesterday that tells me "if you work until age 62 - here's how much you will get per month... if you work until 65 - it'll be this... and if you work until 70 - here's the amount..."
Holy shit. No, wasn't a Boy Scout - their motto is "Be Prepared". Seen the mishap cartoons about Plan Ahead....
I sharpened my pencil - have got it figured out - if I quit at 62, I'll be able to make my mortgage payment, go to McDonalds twice a week - and to Dairy Queen to buy a Peanut Buster Parfait ONCE a month.
I can be a little more extravagant if I work until 65 - adding the Ponderosa Buffet every other Sunday night.. Why if I worked until 70 - I could do all that AND participate in onea my favorite hobbies and bowl three games a week. (I hope those bastards don't get ridda the bumper bowling in the meantime - I mean hell, I'll be 70.)
I gots two months until I have to give whatshername her portion of the equity in the house she and I own - and Maynard and I live in.. I think it's known I wanna get the hell out - start anew - then I think about sitting down to sign a new mortgage at age 53 - and yessir - "not a problem - you'll have it paid off by the time you're 83."
I think we need a shout out. A shout out to all rummies like myself who haven't invested wisely.. People like me who maybe dipped in along the way when this emergency - or that emergency popped up.. People who have been influenced by the Larry the Cable Guy school of thought "to hell with it, a penny saved is just a damn copper thing that takes up space - let's live along the way." Po, I'm talking po - as in not planning ahead.
Rather than me going to buy small house that would bust my balls financially for the next however many years I'm here - WHAT IF - those of us in that boat (The one with the teenie-tiny slow leak) built a BIGASS complex - circular kinda thing with bedrooms on the outside - dining area, restrooms, living room areas on the inside. So - rather than buy a modest $80-90-100-125,000 house and have the mortgage check eatup what fun you coulda had.... We, the poor non-planning types - have this bigass house, lower mortgage payments, neighbors who kinda-sorta already know each other - and we could party-hearty our way on outta this lifetime.
Bingo, checkers, "bones", Spades, walking track, ONE cable bill, ONE electricity bill, we could pass around Blockbuster DVD's.. if relatives we don't like come to visit - we could have our buds cover for us -> "no.. haven't seen 'em in a week or so."
We could take turns doing laundry.. "Ahm, your next week will be November 12th thru the 18th.."... "You do have to mow the last week in August too." F-in' A Ray. I can dig it she can dig it we can dig it They can dig it, you can dig it
Oh, let's dig it Can you dig it, baby.... (Grazin' in the grass is a gas, baby, can you dig it)....
Of course we'd needa name for this bigass complex. Po Folks is already taken, as is Shady Acres, John Knox... Come on, be creative... helps me out here.. ***Just hada thought*** We could name the house Friends of Distinction. Uppity, we could be uppity in mind. And... of course we could use the grazin in the grass theme song.
Think of the buying power. For you hens (said with love) insteada having to go to Jacque Chong's Nail Place and have 'em sit around and make fun of you in whatever language it is they make fun of you in during a manicure/pedicure - we could contract one to come out and have a "production line" manicure/pedicure at a much lower rate.
We could buy our own Magic Bus. We could have Karaoke night. We could have an "Off limits" room and alternate weekends for Guys Night Out/Girls Night Out.. Can't ya just see us all hell bent for a nighta fun anda trudgin' thataway with our walkers?
Hell, we ARE the 60's. I say we commune it. If there are liberal sorts out there - when dimentia sets in we could even play Musical Bedrooms. I mean what the hey, we wouldn't know any different anyways. Dimentia/Jealousy just don't go together. Think of the Viagra buying power.
Ya got me goin' in circles.. oh oh around and around.. Then again, if you don't like the idea - we can each be financially challenged.. beg/plead with Fido to come help when we fall offa the kitchen chair... Sit around and wait for cataracts to set in... While away the day making a chart and demarking how many age spots we have.
Ok, who's in? Happy day..... Victurd.
Holy shit. No, wasn't a Boy Scout - their motto is "Be Prepared". Seen the mishap cartoons about Plan Ahead....
I sharpened my pencil - have got it figured out - if I quit at 62, I'll be able to make my mortgage payment, go to McDonalds twice a week - and to Dairy Queen to buy a Peanut Buster Parfait ONCE a month.
I can be a little more extravagant if I work until 65 - adding the Ponderosa Buffet every other Sunday night.. Why if I worked until 70 - I could do all that AND participate in onea my favorite hobbies and bowl three games a week. (I hope those bastards don't get ridda the bumper bowling in the meantime - I mean hell, I'll be 70.)
I gots two months until I have to give whatshername her portion of the equity in the house she and I own - and Maynard and I live in.. I think it's known I wanna get the hell out - start anew - then I think about sitting down to sign a new mortgage at age 53 - and yessir - "not a problem - you'll have it paid off by the time you're 83."
I think we need a shout out. A shout out to all rummies like myself who haven't invested wisely.. People like me who maybe dipped in along the way when this emergency - or that emergency popped up.. People who have been influenced by the Larry the Cable Guy school of thought "to hell with it, a penny saved is just a damn copper thing that takes up space - let's live along the way." Po, I'm talking po - as in not planning ahead.
Rather than me going to buy small house that would bust my balls financially for the next however many years I'm here - WHAT IF - those of us in that boat (The one with the teenie-tiny slow leak) built a BIGASS complex - circular kinda thing with bedrooms on the outside - dining area, restrooms, living room areas on the inside. So - rather than buy a modest $80-90-100-125,000 house and have the mortgage check eatup what fun you coulda had.... We, the poor non-planning types - have this bigass house, lower mortgage payments, neighbors who kinda-sorta already know each other - and we could party-hearty our way on outta this lifetime.
Bingo, checkers, "bones", Spades, walking track, ONE cable bill, ONE electricity bill, we could pass around Blockbuster DVD's.. if relatives we don't like come to visit - we could have our buds cover for us -> "no.. haven't seen 'em in a week or so."
We could take turns doing laundry.. "Ahm, your next week will be November 12th thru the 18th.."... "You do have to mow the last week in August too." F-in' A Ray. I can dig it she can dig it we can dig it They can dig it, you can dig it
Oh, let's dig it Can you dig it, baby.... (Grazin' in the grass is a gas, baby, can you dig it)....
Of course we'd needa name for this bigass complex. Po Folks is already taken, as is Shady Acres, John Knox... Come on, be creative... helps me out here.. ***Just hada thought*** We could name the house Friends of Distinction. Uppity, we could be uppity in mind. And... of course we could use the grazin in the grass theme song.
Think of the buying power. For you hens (said with love) insteada having to go to Jacque Chong's Nail Place and have 'em sit around and make fun of you in whatever language it is they make fun of you in during a manicure/pedicure - we could contract one to come out and have a "production line" manicure/pedicure at a much lower rate.
We could buy our own Magic Bus. We could have Karaoke night. We could have an "Off limits" room and alternate weekends for Guys Night Out/Girls Night Out.. Can't ya just see us all hell bent for a nighta fun anda trudgin' thataway with our walkers?
Hell, we ARE the 60's. I say we commune it. If there are liberal sorts out there - when dimentia sets in we could even play Musical Bedrooms. I mean what the hey, we wouldn't know any different anyways. Dimentia/Jealousy just don't go together. Think of the Viagra buying power.
Ya got me goin' in circles.. oh oh around and around.. Then again, if you don't like the idea - we can each be financially challenged.. beg/plead with Fido to come help when we fall offa the kitchen chair... Sit around and wait for cataracts to set in... While away the day making a chart and demarking how many age spots we have.
Ok, who's in? Happy day..... Victurd.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Twenty minutes....
Crap... I've got twenty minutes until worktime... The hell canya do in twenty minutes?... Oh yeah - I guess ya could...
Twenty minutes of fame, I guess, would make one permanently famous. Surpasses fitteen eh?...
Yesterday - within twenty minutes I'd stepped out barefooted (holding my shoes) to go to work - Maynard or one of his friends had busted a bottle on the front step - I managed to not see it - and sliced up both (not one, but two) feet. In twenty minutes I went from potential blogger to "oh woe is me" whine & cheese.
Twenty minutes is enough time to say something you wish you hadn'ta said - then regret it for the remainder of your life...
When I was seventeen (it was a very good year).. Ok, not the song - when I was around seventeen - onea my part time jobs was to throw newspapers with an old codger in the neighboring town of Excelsior Springs... From the town where we lived - it was roughly twenty minutes.. He didn't see it that way however... To him, it was a "three beer drive"... (and he literally did that.) Not to worry however, we didn't worry the squirrels.
"Be ready in twenty minutes" - said by woman - to man - means - you have time to cook/eat three hotdogs, checkout all the scores on ESPN (three times) see if there's any hot chicks on the Spanish Network, learn how to get ridda your slice on the Golf Channel - and check the local weather on the 8's four times.
When you tella snotnose that's outside playing "Dinner'll be ready in twenty minutes" - "OK, I'll be in" - means, 25-30 minutes later he/she is nowhere to be found and now your own damn food is now freezing.
Twenty minutes can be hurtful - wonderful - frustrating - encouraging - average - outta the ordinary - a rude awakening..... We take minutes for granted. Tis amazing those moments in life that change us. The first time I held Maynard at the hospital. When a friend has let you down. When a friend has perked you up. When a loved one gets sick. When a loved one gets well.
We have 72 twenty minute periods in a day. Thinka how many of those are waisted - and HEY, I'm as (if not more) guilty than anyone. So, what we should do I reckon is make lists of the best ways we've ever spent twenty minutes.. Then go after 'em. You know, like sex from 6:20 to 6:40, soaking bath from 6:40 to 7:00, drive in the country from 7-7:20, 300 burger & fries from bowling alley from 7:20-7:40, two beers from 7:40 to 8, email two good friends 8-8:20, takea walk from 8:20-8:40....
etc...etc.... etc..
Well... I've enjoyed the last twenty minutes - thanks for being here. I really don't feel like working yet - so - I'm gonna go take a twenty minute nap now. May all 72 of your twenties be nifty today. Bye bye now - Victurd.
Twenty minutes of fame, I guess, would make one permanently famous. Surpasses fitteen eh?...
Yesterday - within twenty minutes I'd stepped out barefooted (holding my shoes) to go to work - Maynard or one of his friends had busted a bottle on the front step - I managed to not see it - and sliced up both (not one, but two) feet. In twenty minutes I went from potential blogger to "oh woe is me" whine & cheese.
Twenty minutes is enough time to say something you wish you hadn'ta said - then regret it for the remainder of your life...
When I was seventeen (it was a very good year).. Ok, not the song - when I was around seventeen - onea my part time jobs was to throw newspapers with an old codger in the neighboring town of Excelsior Springs... From the town where we lived - it was roughly twenty minutes.. He didn't see it that way however... To him, it was a "three beer drive"... (and he literally did that.) Not to worry however, we didn't worry the squirrels.
"Be ready in twenty minutes" - said by woman - to man - means - you have time to cook/eat three hotdogs, checkout all the scores on ESPN (three times) see if there's any hot chicks on the Spanish Network, learn how to get ridda your slice on the Golf Channel - and check the local weather on the 8's four times.
When you tella snotnose that's outside playing "Dinner'll be ready in twenty minutes" - "OK, I'll be in" - means, 25-30 minutes later he/she is nowhere to be found and now your own damn food is now freezing.
Twenty minutes can be hurtful - wonderful - frustrating - encouraging - average - outta the ordinary - a rude awakening..... We take minutes for granted. Tis amazing those moments in life that change us. The first time I held Maynard at the hospital. When a friend has let you down. When a friend has perked you up. When a loved one gets sick. When a loved one gets well.
We have 72 twenty minute periods in a day. Thinka how many of those are waisted - and HEY, I'm as (if not more) guilty than anyone. So, what we should do I reckon is make lists of the best ways we've ever spent twenty minutes.. Then go after 'em. You know, like sex from 6:20 to 6:40, soaking bath from 6:40 to 7:00, drive in the country from 7-7:20, 300 burger & fries from bowling alley from 7:20-7:40, two beers from 7:40 to 8, email two good friends 8-8:20, takea walk from 8:20-8:40....
etc...etc.... etc..
Well... I've enjoyed the last twenty minutes - thanks for being here. I really don't feel like working yet - so - I'm gonna go take a twenty minute nap now. May all 72 of your twenties be nifty today. Bye bye now - Victurd.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Reflections.......
Seems the time of year - maybe even the time of life to reflect... Dog days around the corner - followed by the wondrous feel of taking a fall walk with a light windbreaker on...
Fifty-something is a unique age... We've managed to build a decent emotional base.. we think we "get it".. We're fairly stable - then - allofasudden we're surrounded by 'wobblers'... Loved parents, aunts, uncles whom we will generally always view in the happy years of the age we are now - begin to wobble.. Termites - who wobbled as toddlers - now wobble their way into adulthood. The exact 'scores' aren't predictable - but we know the outcomes ahead of time.
Life's cycles. They talk of "the golden years".. I'm officially ready for them. A new start - as a divorced person - I'm ready for living somewhere where "this is mine" applies versus "this was ours." Change the plugs, rotate the tires, flush the antifreeze - I'm ready.
Seems this age is all about eyeballs.. As a newborn, everything was hazy... soon, our eyes were eager - ready to capture/explore/learn all about everything around us... then in our youth our eyes mainly focused on the mirror... we evolved to focus on a loved one - and then on our little ones... Now's the time to take it all in - appreciate today, visualize yesterday, and love what comes tomorrow.
I love being 50-something - even if those AARP bastards keep mailing me that crap.
Happy reflections... Victurd drutciV
Fifty-something is a unique age... We've managed to build a decent emotional base.. we think we "get it".. We're fairly stable - then - allofasudden we're surrounded by 'wobblers'... Loved parents, aunts, uncles whom we will generally always view in the happy years of the age we are now - begin to wobble.. Termites - who wobbled as toddlers - now wobble their way into adulthood. The exact 'scores' aren't predictable - but we know the outcomes ahead of time.
Life's cycles. They talk of "the golden years".. I'm officially ready for them. A new start - as a divorced person - I'm ready for living somewhere where "this is mine" applies versus "this was ours." Change the plugs, rotate the tires, flush the antifreeze - I'm ready.
Seems this age is all about eyeballs.. As a newborn, everything was hazy... soon, our eyes were eager - ready to capture/explore/learn all about everything around us... then in our youth our eyes mainly focused on the mirror... we evolved to focus on a loved one - and then on our little ones... Now's the time to take it all in - appreciate today, visualize yesterday, and love what comes tomorrow.
I love being 50-something - even if those AARP bastards keep mailing me that crap.
Happy reflections... Victurd drutciV
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Chillicothe, MO?
Greatest thing since sliced bread...
A little known fact about sliced bread is that its origin can be traced back to a single place. Chillicothe, Missouri (USA), is the official "Home of Sliced Bread." Sliced bread was born in Chillicothe, Missouri, on July 7, 1928. Well A'hll be damned. I didn't know that.
History dammit, today's about history... Of course, we can boast about George Washington Carver... frail as a child - kept him from doing the mandatory farm work... so.. he piddled with plants... responsible for items such as bleach, buttermilk, instant coffee, mayo, talcum powder - and would ya believe crop rotation?
Somewhere between Carrolton and Marshall, tiny town of Wakenda - James Fergason invented the LCD - liquid crystal displays...
Would you believe even chicks got into the act in Missouri? (Calm down, only teasing.).. The St. Louie mother-daughter team of Betty Rozier and Lisa Vallino invented the Intravenous Catheter Shield - or, "IV House" -- thingymabob prevents the needle from being accidentally dislodged and minimizes patient tampering....
Another St. Louie dude was one of three that teamed to invent fiberoptics.. First for phone service, later for computer, medical etc...
Ok... Playing with the computer is kinda a lazy way to take a country drive.. I enjoyed learning that crap about Missouri inventors.. Of course as a kid we learned about GW Carver - but I didn't know that other crap...
As I was fiberoptically wondering - I clicked "next" as my list of fruitful Missouri inventors was dwindling... aha, lo and behold the next diddy was "Dumb Laws in Missouri." Ohhh boy...
Did you know... it's illegal to have oral sex in Missouri? Geez, that really blows... In Excelsior Springs - worrying squirrels is not tolerated. Also, please know you may not throw hard objects by hand there..
Howabout: Kansas City.. Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.. (Don't fret, we can worry the squirrels legally in KC)... Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely...
In Natchez, MO - PLEASE know it's unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. Sounds like a buncha drunk City Councilmen (or women) sat around thinking that one up....
In Purdy - Dancing is strictly prohibited. Holy shit - we ARE in the Bible Belt.. I remember at William Jewell College - huh uh, Baptists wouldn't letya say "Dance" class... it was "rhythmic activities"...
Meet me in St. Louie - but, please know we can't sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day - where beer was served in buckets.).. FYI: Milk men may not run while on duty in STL...
In University City four women may not rent an apartment together. Hmmm, wonder whatinthehell happened to enact that one? Tis illegal for 'em to have oral sex anyways - I mean what the hey...
Here's hopin' today is a slice of paradise.. Rock around the LCD clock... Pet a squirrel.. Dance - dance to a different drummer... drinka beer froma bucket... throw a hard object.. call an old friend fiberoptically.. invent something, dare to make a difference.. Buy an elephant a Crown & Coke...
Mighty Mo... Misery... Mizzou... Mis-zeeeeer-EE... Show Me... Happy day.. .bye bye now.. Victurd
A little known fact about sliced bread is that its origin can be traced back to a single place. Chillicothe, Missouri (USA), is the official "Home of Sliced Bread." Sliced bread was born in Chillicothe, Missouri, on July 7, 1928. Well A'hll be damned. I didn't know that.
History dammit, today's about history... Of course, we can boast about George Washington Carver... frail as a child - kept him from doing the mandatory farm work... so.. he piddled with plants... responsible for items such as bleach, buttermilk, instant coffee, mayo, talcum powder - and would ya believe crop rotation?
Somewhere between Carrolton and Marshall, tiny town of Wakenda - James Fergason invented the LCD - liquid crystal displays...
Would you believe even chicks got into the act in Missouri? (Calm down, only teasing.).. The St. Louie mother-daughter team of Betty Rozier and Lisa Vallino invented the Intravenous Catheter Shield - or, "IV House" -- thingymabob prevents the needle from being accidentally dislodged and minimizes patient tampering....
Another St. Louie dude was one of three that teamed to invent fiberoptics.. First for phone service, later for computer, medical etc...
Ok... Playing with the computer is kinda a lazy way to take a country drive.. I enjoyed learning that crap about Missouri inventors.. Of course as a kid we learned about GW Carver - but I didn't know that other crap...
As I was fiberoptically wondering - I clicked "next" as my list of fruitful Missouri inventors was dwindling... aha, lo and behold the next diddy was "Dumb Laws in Missouri." Ohhh boy...
Did you know... it's illegal to have oral sex in Missouri? Geez, that really blows... In Excelsior Springs - worrying squirrels is not tolerated. Also, please know you may not throw hard objects by hand there..
Howabout: Kansas City.. Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.. (Don't fret, we can worry the squirrels legally in KC)... Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely...
In Natchez, MO - PLEASE know it's unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. Sounds like a buncha drunk City Councilmen (or women) sat around thinking that one up....
In Purdy - Dancing is strictly prohibited. Holy shit - we ARE in the Bible Belt.. I remember at William Jewell College - huh uh, Baptists wouldn't letya say "Dance" class... it was "rhythmic activities"...
Meet me in St. Louie - but, please know we can't sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day - where beer was served in buckets.).. FYI: Milk men may not run while on duty in STL...
In University City four women may not rent an apartment together. Hmmm, wonder whatinthehell happened to enact that one? Tis illegal for 'em to have oral sex anyways - I mean what the hey...
Here's hopin' today is a slice of paradise.. Rock around the LCD clock... Pet a squirrel.. Dance - dance to a different drummer... drinka beer froma bucket... throw a hard object.. call an old friend fiberoptically.. invent something, dare to make a difference.. Buy an elephant a Crown & Coke...
Mighty Mo... Misery... Mizzou... Mis-zeeeeer-EE... Show Me... Happy day.. .bye bye now.. Victurd
Friday, July 21, 2006
Who are those guys?
I don't even remember if Butch Cassidy was in color I'm so old... But I remember them retreating to Bolivia after robbing a bank.... Followed by a band of lawmen that grew, and grew and grew in number... "Who are those guys?"..."Whothehell are those guys?"...
But... can you begin a sentence with but? But sure I can.. The best line of the movie was when they found themselves atop a bigass cliff overlooking a river - no way to turn back (the "who are those guys?" were gaining) and Sundance says.. "I can't jump.. I can't swim."... to which Butch broke out in laughter and responded "Hell.. the fall will probably kill you!"..
The letters and emails have been pouring in... Yes, I'm a liar - but hey, I needed a topic so I picked this... The letters have all been asking "whointhehell is 'talkback'?"... Good question - ain't real sure maself - but, reckon if we gandered at 'em - he might look like:
I picture either Mr. Mooney on the old Lucy show... or, Jonathan Quayle Higgins III from Magnum PI... My alter ego... Talkback is controlled (yeah, maybe whatshername was right - perhaps I am a controller) by my "talkback lock" button on the computer.. I hada $10 off gift certificate to Radio Shack, and I gave it to a geeky IT buddy of mine for coming over and converting my CAP lock button to my 'talkback lock' - so, when I don't wanna hear that fugger - one swoop with the fingertip gets ridda him for awhile...
Talkback could never garden - "What? Me? With dirt under MY fingernails?"... The closest he's ever been to a bass fish is when he once drove over the Missouri River.. His clothes are superbly pressed - and his eyebrows raised when he sees otherwise on anyone else.. He's the exact opposite of Ludacris - or perhaps, Larry The Cable Guy...
His idea of dinner is with no less than five utensils per setting atop a fine linen table cloth... He's tighter than hell with his money... and insteada a baseball card collection - he's got tickets to Pavarotti concerts he's attended framed...
There is no room for reason or resonance of ideas bouncing off his brain - there is one way, and only one way to do things. He rides with me in the car - and upon occasion when I veer over in the right lane as the casino approaches - he bellows an "OH GOOD GOD" disgust belch - but.. the Larry the Cable guy in me wins out - and I go on in and git 'er done...
We all have Talkbacks and Larry the Cable Guys in our 'closet'... Every move we make - every breath we take - we are challenged by how we will respond to life's pitches. Do we refuse to swing and try to get on base the easy way - or do we lay down the perfect bunt and run like hell, diving in headfirst across the dirt en route to first?
Talkback is there - perhaps - for balance.. i consider myself of completely average intelligence - nothing more... Talkback - and I'm glad the fucker can't hear this - talkback gives me a reason, a hope for "I CAN do this.. I AM smart enough... It IS the wise thing to do.." That doesn't creep out often - but it's down in there somewhere.
Larry the cable guy on the other hand, tells me "Fuck it, let's go to the boat... you can mow the yard tomorrow.. and besides, there's still two Banquet dinners in the freezer for Maynard... wait, better pull in an getta couplea packs of cigs - you know how you light 'em up while ur in there."
Balance... If life were a balance beam - talkback on one side - Larry the cable guy on the other - I fear I've got way too many bruises from falling on the Larry the Cable guy's side... And perhaps not one teensie tiny regret for it...
I wanna live... I wanna love... I wanna see.. I wanna do... I wanna go... All such great verbs... With kudos to Steppinwolf: Get your motor runnin'.. Head out on the highway... Lookin' for adventure - And whatever comes our way.. Yeah Darlin' go make it happen - Take the world in a love embrace - Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space ...Like a true nature's child - We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high - I never wanna die... Born to be wild... Born to be wild...
Sorry talkback, reckon Larry wins. I never liked that Mr. Mooney anyways. Higgins I could stand Ok I guess. Balance. Life is a balance beam. Happy arm quivers. Victurd.
But... can you begin a sentence with but? But sure I can.. The best line of the movie was when they found themselves atop a bigass cliff overlooking a river - no way to turn back (the "who are those guys?" were gaining) and Sundance says.. "I can't jump.. I can't swim."... to which Butch broke out in laughter and responded "Hell.. the fall will probably kill you!"..
The letters and emails have been pouring in... Yes, I'm a liar - but hey, I needed a topic so I picked this... The letters have all been asking "whointhehell is 'talkback'?"... Good question - ain't real sure maself - but, reckon if we gandered at 'em - he might look like:
I picture either Mr. Mooney on the old Lucy show... or, Jonathan Quayle Higgins III from Magnum PI... My alter ego... Talkback is controlled (yeah, maybe whatshername was right - perhaps I am a controller) by my "talkback lock" button on the computer.. I hada $10 off gift certificate to Radio Shack, and I gave it to a geeky IT buddy of mine for coming over and converting my CAP lock button to my 'talkback lock' - so, when I don't wanna hear that fugger - one swoop with the fingertip gets ridda him for awhile...
Talkback could never garden - "What? Me? With dirt under MY fingernails?"... The closest he's ever been to a bass fish is when he once drove over the Missouri River.. His clothes are superbly pressed - and his eyebrows raised when he sees otherwise on anyone else.. He's the exact opposite of Ludacris - or perhaps, Larry The Cable Guy...
His idea of dinner is with no less than five utensils per setting atop a fine linen table cloth... He's tighter than hell with his money... and insteada a baseball card collection - he's got tickets to Pavarotti concerts he's attended framed...
There is no room for reason or resonance of ideas bouncing off his brain - there is one way, and only one way to do things. He rides with me in the car - and upon occasion when I veer over in the right lane as the casino approaches - he bellows an "OH GOOD GOD" disgust belch - but.. the Larry the Cable guy in me wins out - and I go on in and git 'er done...
We all have Talkbacks and Larry the Cable Guys in our 'closet'... Every move we make - every breath we take - we are challenged by how we will respond to life's pitches. Do we refuse to swing and try to get on base the easy way - or do we lay down the perfect bunt and run like hell, diving in headfirst across the dirt en route to first?
Talkback is there - perhaps - for balance.. i consider myself of completely average intelligence - nothing more... Talkback - and I'm glad the fucker can't hear this - talkback gives me a reason, a hope for "I CAN do this.. I AM smart enough... It IS the wise thing to do.." That doesn't creep out often - but it's down in there somewhere.
Larry the cable guy on the other hand, tells me "Fuck it, let's go to the boat... you can mow the yard tomorrow.. and besides, there's still two Banquet dinners in the freezer for Maynard... wait, better pull in an getta couplea packs of cigs - you know how you light 'em up while ur in there."
Balance... If life were a balance beam - talkback on one side - Larry the cable guy on the other - I fear I've got way too many bruises from falling on the Larry the Cable guy's side... And perhaps not one teensie tiny regret for it...
I wanna live... I wanna love... I wanna see.. I wanna do... I wanna go... All such great verbs... With kudos to Steppinwolf: Get your motor runnin'.. Head out on the highway... Lookin' for adventure - And whatever comes our way.. Yeah Darlin' go make it happen - Take the world in a love embrace - Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space ...Like a true nature's child - We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high - I never wanna die... Born to be wild... Born to be wild...
Sorry talkback, reckon Larry wins. I never liked that Mr. Mooney anyways. Higgins I could stand Ok I guess. Balance. Life is a balance beam. Happy arm quivers. Victurd.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Take me... to the limit... one more time....
Gimme your breast guess... I love what I do for a living and with whom I do it with... There are sucky things with every job... But there's truly a lotta good where I work...
We are seasonal (but still fairly busy in the winter time)... We are family owned... Many say there is gender favoritism - but I won't respond to that because I seena few fired across the land by what they've written in their blogs..
Honest to goodness there's an announcement here when it's 8am.. and announcement when it's 5pm... Yes, it reminds one of school a tad bit --- gossip in the bathroom/lunchroom, and right down to the nerdy guy who continually drops his pencil on purpose... We have announcements to tell us "please read your email" when HR sends out a new email.. Like why are their emails special? I read every fucking email... Ya occasionally get the feeling you're trapped on a school bus...
During this hot n heavy part of the year - none of us can keep up... Frustrations sometimes grow... and this GD sauna-like weather we're having ain't helped matters..
Despite efforts by management to become "paperless" - our file cabinets are overflowing with the production we've done - and we've hired temp after temp to try to keep up...
Recently - onea the temps - an EXTREMELY well endowed one - somewhat breached the limit on how much booby she had exposed -- and someone complained. So the company wouldn't be sued - she was sent away with the request to "put something on to cover your ARMS". Uh huh. So.. .lunchtime... she came back.. boughta new sweater looking thing... her arms were covered - but there was no hidin' them big mommas even though she tried. She was still kinda gettin' jiggly wit' it.
I tried to thinka who and why woulda turned her in... "I'm a B-cup.. I'll be GD if I'm gonna have all the men's eyes planted on Miss double-D over there."... "I'm very religious - and I think when Eve was on the earth is the only time there should be anything close to nudity."... "I've gotta boner from looking at them suckers - I can't concentrate, and I can't roll my rollup chair up under my desk."... "I replace those long fluorescent lightbulbs here - and we can't have them mommas gyrating/pounding when she walks - they'll wear out in half the time."
I'm like - be for real. Yes, had she come in a thong and a negligee - maybe somethin oughta been said. (Like "Hey, what are you doing Tuesday night?" - teasing) What she wore wasn't really even that low cut - and had she entered a bar - there wouldn't have been extra glances or any shock value at all.
Not sure who's the real boob here. The one that ratted on her - the one that called her in to say "your cup runneth over" - or the management dudes that didn't step in - admonish the non-cleavage idiots that were involved (tat for tit?)...
I'm so old I remember when the administrators in high school usedta make the gals kneel - and if their dress didn't touch the ground - they were sent back home to momma for more attire. Somehow, I feel like a school child again.
But in all honesty - I like limits. In fact, I like the "take me to the limit" idea so much - I will volunteer my time, and my tape measure. Me thinks two inches above the nipple is proper - anything less - send 'em to Goodwill to buy a coverup. I could undertake those measurements right here in my own cubicle... Why I'd even be a willin' to get some doublesided sticky tape to help 'em keep the top snug up agin' the booby whilst they bent over to put something in the bottom cabinet...
We've all gotta time and and time out here --- and some Yale grad somewhere invented this infringe-upon-my-civil-liberty kinda thing where you stick your hand in there at the time clock - and it acknowledges your palm - and what time you've stuck it in there... I could perhaps measure thataway.. The palm test... Ya know - how are you gonna know what percent of the booby is sticking out if ya don't know the exact size of the booby? I'm a lend-a-hand kinda guy. Team player here. No applause please.. I mean - shit - we could get sued. I can just see the courtroom now - "Exactly HOW did you know how much of her boob was sticking out?" I'd be helpin' em.
I just know onea these nights I'm gonna go home and -yep, there Walter will be on the news... or mebbe JFK giving a speech.. Mantle hittin' another... Martin on a walk... Yes Huey - back in time.. Boobs. We have some boobs here.
Take me... to the limit... one more time....
May this hump day be the breast day of the week for you... happy day... bye bye now, Victurd
We are seasonal (but still fairly busy in the winter time)... We are family owned... Many say there is gender favoritism - but I won't respond to that because I seena few fired across the land by what they've written in their blogs..
Honest to goodness there's an announcement here when it's 8am.. and announcement when it's 5pm... Yes, it reminds one of school a tad bit --- gossip in the bathroom/lunchroom, and right down to the nerdy guy who continually drops his pencil on purpose... We have announcements to tell us "please read your email" when HR sends out a new email.. Like why are their emails special? I read every fucking email... Ya occasionally get the feeling you're trapped on a school bus...
During this hot n heavy part of the year - none of us can keep up... Frustrations sometimes grow... and this GD sauna-like weather we're having ain't helped matters..
Despite efforts by management to become "paperless" - our file cabinets are overflowing with the production we've done - and we've hired temp after temp to try to keep up...
Recently - onea the temps - an EXTREMELY well endowed one - somewhat breached the limit on how much booby she had exposed -- and someone complained. So the company wouldn't be sued - she was sent away with the request to "put something on to cover your ARMS". Uh huh. So.. .lunchtime... she came back.. boughta new sweater looking thing... her arms were covered - but there was no hidin' them big mommas even though she tried. She was still kinda gettin' jiggly wit' it.
I tried to thinka who and why woulda turned her in... "I'm a B-cup.. I'll be GD if I'm gonna have all the men's eyes planted on Miss double-D over there."... "I'm very religious - and I think when Eve was on the earth is the only time there should be anything close to nudity."... "I've gotta boner from looking at them suckers - I can't concentrate, and I can't roll my rollup chair up under my desk."... "I replace those long fluorescent lightbulbs here - and we can't have them mommas gyrating/pounding when she walks - they'll wear out in half the time."
I'm like - be for real. Yes, had she come in a thong and a negligee - maybe somethin oughta been said. (Like "Hey, what are you doing Tuesday night?" - teasing) What she wore wasn't really even that low cut - and had she entered a bar - there wouldn't have been extra glances or any shock value at all.
Not sure who's the real boob here. The one that ratted on her - the one that called her in to say "your cup runneth over" - or the management dudes that didn't step in - admonish the non-cleavage idiots that were involved (tat for tit?)...
I'm so old I remember when the administrators in high school usedta make the gals kneel - and if their dress didn't touch the ground - they were sent back home to momma for more attire. Somehow, I feel like a school child again.
But in all honesty - I like limits. In fact, I like the "take me to the limit" idea so much - I will volunteer my time, and my tape measure. Me thinks two inches above the nipple is proper - anything less - send 'em to Goodwill to buy a coverup. I could undertake those measurements right here in my own cubicle... Why I'd even be a willin' to get some doublesided sticky tape to help 'em keep the top snug up agin' the booby whilst they bent over to put something in the bottom cabinet...
We've all gotta time and and time out here --- and some Yale grad somewhere invented this infringe-upon-my-civil-liberty kinda thing where you stick your hand in there at the time clock - and it acknowledges your palm - and what time you've stuck it in there... I could perhaps measure thataway.. The palm test... Ya know - how are you gonna know what percent of the booby is sticking out if ya don't know the exact size of the booby? I'm a lend-a-hand kinda guy. Team player here. No applause please.. I mean - shit - we could get sued. I can just see the courtroom now - "Exactly HOW did you know how much of her boob was sticking out?" I'd be helpin' em.
I just know onea these nights I'm gonna go home and -yep, there Walter will be on the news... or mebbe JFK giving a speech.. Mantle hittin' another... Martin on a walk... Yes Huey - back in time.. Boobs. We have some boobs here.
Take me... to the limit... one more time....
May this hump day be the breast day of the week for you... happy day... bye bye now, Victurd
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
How come...
I wonder howinthehell... Musings... Wonder howinthehell they make those pillars that go into rivers that support bridges..and wonder if it's like "Hey Ralph.. let's put onea them sunsabitches right here"?... Wonder if they have a testing lab for new vibrator products - and wonder what the chicks get paid for doing so -- Can't you just see it.. ."Hey, how was your day at the office?"... Eh, so so, I only came twice.. hehe..
I wonder why bluejays are so mean... I wonder why they call Human Resources Human Resources when oft times it's used as a disciplinarian arm... Why do they call it a hot water heater? What about the first time it's ever used? Is it a cold water heater?
I wonder if I'm still young enough to file an age discrimination lawsuit against WalMart if I fail to gain my desired employment as a greeter... I wonder where the pigs originally came from that say "put guns on the border, shoot any Mexicans that cross illegally."
Hada new glitzy car wash open in our small town.. Owner paid some snotnose chump change to stand out with a big sign, dressed in a fifty pound full Kangaroo outfit in 103 degree temps. I wonder why no one shot the owner..
I wonder if people that setup up card tables at WalMart to solicit money for their church, little league team, bazaar, etc really give all the money to where they say they're giving it?
I wonder who else is important to the self important? I wonder why nannies are substituted for parents? I wonder if you'd really get thrown in the slammer if you tore the tag offa pillow infronta a cop? Why do they call it kidnapping when they swipe someone over 21?
Why, generally, are Oriental people smaller? Why, generally, are African American people stronger? Who was in the kitchen with Dinah? Why do women announce when they are going to the bathroom? Like, who asked?
Why do they call it a blog? Why aren't insects called outsects? Do doctors have to sit in a waiting room at country clubs before their tee time is announced? Why is it ok for a man to take his top off but notta woman? Why do - at some places - smarter women make less than some of the incompetent men they work with?
How do tuna swim? Wouldn't that crap simply float? Why doesn't the government put lower limits on credit card apr's? Why do companies charge poor people who can't pay their gas, water, electric bill a fee to reconnect it once they can pay it?
Why do we even have Repuplicans? (oops!)... Why is outpatient surgery done inside? Oh I wonder wonder wonder wonder who, who wrote the book of love? I wonder if dyslexics are confused with the order of silverware in a fancy restaurant? I wonder if the New Christy Minstrals are old now? I wonder exactly how bigga booby has to be to make the switch from cloth to underwire? When there's hella less material, why are thongs more expensive?
Ok... enough to think on today.. Thanks for reading, and you sonsabitches who somehow are able to senda advertising comment to every blog on the universe - how do you do that? Happy day, bye bye now... Victurd..
I wonder why bluejays are so mean... I wonder why they call Human Resources Human Resources when oft times it's used as a disciplinarian arm... Why do they call it a hot water heater? What about the first time it's ever used? Is it a cold water heater?
I wonder if I'm still young enough to file an age discrimination lawsuit against WalMart if I fail to gain my desired employment as a greeter... I wonder where the pigs originally came from that say "put guns on the border, shoot any Mexicans that cross illegally."
Hada new glitzy car wash open in our small town.. Owner paid some snotnose chump change to stand out with a big sign, dressed in a fifty pound full Kangaroo outfit in 103 degree temps. I wonder why no one shot the owner..
I wonder if people that setup up card tables at WalMart to solicit money for their church, little league team, bazaar, etc really give all the money to where they say they're giving it?
I wonder who else is important to the self important? I wonder why nannies are substituted for parents? I wonder if you'd really get thrown in the slammer if you tore the tag offa pillow infronta a cop? Why do they call it kidnapping when they swipe someone over 21?
Why, generally, are Oriental people smaller? Why, generally, are African American people stronger? Who was in the kitchen with Dinah? Why do women announce when they are going to the bathroom? Like, who asked?
Why do they call it a blog? Why aren't insects called outsects? Do doctors have to sit in a waiting room at country clubs before their tee time is announced? Why is it ok for a man to take his top off but notta woman? Why do - at some places - smarter women make less than some of the incompetent men they work with?
How do tuna swim? Wouldn't that crap simply float? Why doesn't the government put lower limits on credit card apr's? Why do companies charge poor people who can't pay their gas, water, electric bill a fee to reconnect it once they can pay it?
Why do we even have Repuplicans? (oops!)... Why is outpatient surgery done inside? Oh I wonder wonder wonder wonder who, who wrote the book of love? I wonder if dyslexics are confused with the order of silverware in a fancy restaurant? I wonder if the New Christy Minstrals are old now? I wonder exactly how bigga booby has to be to make the switch from cloth to underwire? When there's hella less material, why are thongs more expensive?
Ok... enough to think on today.. Thanks for reading, and you sonsabitches who somehow are able to senda advertising comment to every blog on the universe - how do you do that? Happy day, bye bye now... Victurd..
Monday, July 17, 2006
HEY! I resemble that remark!
Tiny Tim... Lyle Lovette... BR549... Phyllis Diller... Woody Allen... Ben Stein.. A chocolate mess... Stopping at the casino for three hours and it turns into nine hours.. Not letting family, friends know whereinthehell you are... drinking a few beers - losing too much money - switching to coffee for a few hours - gaining the money back - switching to Corona - losing the money you'd gotten back... Wearing the last clean pair of undies you got in the dresser... I KNOW, I KNOW MR. Trebeck... THINGS THAT ARE UGLY...
Right you are poker chipface... I'm all innocence... I think... I love a good time... I love "no have to's"... I love a parade (the hell's that got to do with anything?) Right you are talkback - I slipped it in 'cause it seemed to fit... bad joke...
John Daly, heap big hitter on the men's golf tour is whispered to have lost millions of dollars at the casino... Charles Barkley, heap big former basketball player was asked about John/his habit - and his reply "Hell... I gamble myself..I've got the money.. I pay my bills.. It's fun."
I'm reminded of the time I went on an internet date witha chick I'd talked to on the phone - but she didn't have a picture... we agreed to meet... holy shit... "it seemed like a good idea at the time." Then, you're finished, walking away thinking "whatinthehell was I thinking."
Then... Suddenly, you're in bed at 12:30am.. having to getup in 5 hours to work.. Logic sets in.. Your brain frowns, scowls, chastises, simply won't letup on yourself - you turn and look and it's now 2:30am... patooey...
Then.. you awaken... Monday... Shit, gotta pay the water bill before you go to work... It ain't pay week... The checkenginelight is on, the brakelight is on, and now it's starting to overheat - aha, no problem (AC broke too) - "I'll just turn on the heater - then the temp'll go down." (Did I mention is 99 degrees?).. .Ugly, pure ugly.
1-800-BETS OFF? "I'll NEVER go back in there again"???? Nah.. I know me... There'll be a time when I wanna think about absolutely nothing that is ongoing (or not ongoing and should be) in my life - and I'll swerve into the casino. I will try my best to avoid the damned people who don't care if you're from Johnson County, Paseo, Orrick, or Golden Acres... I recently noticed the ladies serving drinks wear lowcut outfits (it was the glitter one had sprayed on that did it)... I hate to have to think of high-fiving people I don't know when the dealer getsa 23 total..
The heart palpatations that occur whenya go to the cage to turn your chips in and they ask "big bills sir?"... The free dinners... The cheap beer...
Ok. It's a love/hate relationship. Ugly eh? May your day be like the dealer getting a 6 up... Double down with those you love.. Do as I say, not as I do!
Peace out.. Victurd. Butt ugly. (Say, you said that yesterday you were wearing the last clean pair of undies in your dresser.... Whatareya wearin' today?). FU Talkback.
Right you are poker chipface... I'm all innocence... I think... I love a good time... I love "no have to's"... I love a parade (the hell's that got to do with anything?) Right you are talkback - I slipped it in 'cause it seemed to fit... bad joke...
John Daly, heap big hitter on the men's golf tour is whispered to have lost millions of dollars at the casino... Charles Barkley, heap big former basketball player was asked about John/his habit - and his reply "Hell... I gamble myself..I've got the money.. I pay my bills.. It's fun."
I'm reminded of the time I went on an internet date witha chick I'd talked to on the phone - but she didn't have a picture... we agreed to meet... holy shit... "it seemed like a good idea at the time." Then, you're finished, walking away thinking "whatinthehell was I thinking."
Then... Suddenly, you're in bed at 12:30am.. having to getup in 5 hours to work.. Logic sets in.. Your brain frowns, scowls, chastises, simply won't letup on yourself - you turn and look and it's now 2:30am... patooey...
Then.. you awaken... Monday... Shit, gotta pay the water bill before you go to work... It ain't pay week... The checkenginelight is on, the brakelight is on, and now it's starting to overheat - aha, no problem (AC broke too) - "I'll just turn on the heater - then the temp'll go down." (Did I mention is 99 degrees?).. .Ugly, pure ugly.
1-800-BETS OFF? "I'll NEVER go back in there again"???? Nah.. I know me... There'll be a time when I wanna think about absolutely nothing that is ongoing (or not ongoing and should be) in my life - and I'll swerve into the casino. I will try my best to avoid the damned people who don't care if you're from Johnson County, Paseo, Orrick, or Golden Acres... I recently noticed the ladies serving drinks wear lowcut outfits (it was the glitter one had sprayed on that did it)... I hate to have to think of high-fiving people I don't know when the dealer getsa 23 total..
The heart palpatations that occur whenya go to the cage to turn your chips in and they ask "big bills sir?"... The free dinners... The cheap beer...
Ok. It's a love/hate relationship. Ugly eh? May your day be like the dealer getting a 6 up... Double down with those you love.. Do as I say, not as I do!
Peace out.. Victurd. Butt ugly. (Say, you said that yesterday you were wearing the last clean pair of undies in your dresser.... Whatareya wearin' today?). FU Talkback.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Just sit there and look cute.....
Crowds.. How are you in crowds?... I'm like a statue - which doesn't make alotta sense because I'm a general smartass in most one on one situations... "Victor is so deathly silent."... Yeah, spose. Tis the old "open mouth insert foot" school of thought.. I gain much more excitement - happiness - by not taking the lead... Tacos with six co-workers yesterday -- a blast -- but again, I didn't say a whole lot.. One on one with any of those turds and I'm mouthy... For whatever reason - in a crowd I cinch up.. Just me.
Whatta world... 9-1-1... Overheard a fella say he was working (pouring concrete) and noticed a house down the street where smoke was coming from the eaves... He dialed 9-1-1 and it was answered "9-1-1, please hold." Hehe. Anyways, a cop finally pulls up.. looks at the fella and says "I'm gonna go see if anyone is inside - can you watch this prisoner while I do?"... Hehe... True. All was well.. Fire Dept put it out.. Prisoner back safely to the hokey.. No one in the burning house..
9-1-1 part two. 45 yr old single chicky. For some reason police were dispatched to either where this chicky lived - or to a neighbor's house close. Ah the "man in a uniform" thing. Thirty minutes after the departure of two cops from the scene - a call comes into 9-1-1 dispatch "I want the name of those cops that just came... one of them was extremely handsome.. it's just not every day you get great looking cops coming up to the door." (Perhaps it was her who caused the fella above to get put on hold!)... Anyways, she's in line for a hefty fine for abusing the system...
Sadder 9-1-1 note.. Arizona. Somehow couple gets word there's a domestic dispute next door (Someone passing by had seen the man literally drag the woman in the house.) Neighbors call 9-1-1.. Since they themselves hadn't actually seen anything in person - incident was classified 'stage 2' or some kinda back-burner thing. Two more calls within the next 45 minutes - no police response. Finally, when it got quiet - they entered the house.. found the couple - murder suicide. Geez.
I've only had one personal 9-1-1 experience.. when I'd found my mother after her massive stroke... I gotta admit all responding parties (dispatcher/police/EMT's) were WONDERFUL. Thanks to those who serve and serve well.
Whatta world... Tony Soprano is having real life surgery.. the horse that won the Derby is teetering on life/death... they're bombing airports in Beirut... Pete Coors getsa DWI... An 83 yr old in Sioux Falls man becomes the oldest professional baseball player (MY HERO!)... Ya gotta love life.. I do... Hope you do too... Happy day, bye bye now... Victurd..
Whatta world... 9-1-1... Overheard a fella say he was working (pouring concrete) and noticed a house down the street where smoke was coming from the eaves... He dialed 9-1-1 and it was answered "9-1-1, please hold." Hehe. Anyways, a cop finally pulls up.. looks at the fella and says "I'm gonna go see if anyone is inside - can you watch this prisoner while I do?"... Hehe... True. All was well.. Fire Dept put it out.. Prisoner back safely to the hokey.. No one in the burning house..
9-1-1 part two. 45 yr old single chicky. For some reason police were dispatched to either where this chicky lived - or to a neighbor's house close. Ah the "man in a uniform" thing. Thirty minutes after the departure of two cops from the scene - a call comes into 9-1-1 dispatch "I want the name of those cops that just came... one of them was extremely handsome.. it's just not every day you get great looking cops coming up to the door." (Perhaps it was her who caused the fella above to get put on hold!)... Anyways, she's in line for a hefty fine for abusing the system...
Sadder 9-1-1 note.. Arizona. Somehow couple gets word there's a domestic dispute next door (Someone passing by had seen the man literally drag the woman in the house.) Neighbors call 9-1-1.. Since they themselves hadn't actually seen anything in person - incident was classified 'stage 2' or some kinda back-burner thing. Two more calls within the next 45 minutes - no police response. Finally, when it got quiet - they entered the house.. found the couple - murder suicide. Geez.
I've only had one personal 9-1-1 experience.. when I'd found my mother after her massive stroke... I gotta admit all responding parties (dispatcher/police/EMT's) were WONDERFUL. Thanks to those who serve and serve well.
Whatta world... Tony Soprano is having real life surgery.. the horse that won the Derby is teetering on life/death... they're bombing airports in Beirut... Pete Coors getsa DWI... An 83 yr old in Sioux Falls man becomes the oldest professional baseball player (MY HERO!)... Ya gotta love life.. I do... Hope you do too... Happy day, bye bye now... Victurd..
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Money - with a shout out to Floyd....
Whenever I hear the term Money alone… I hear the bass guitar creepin’ in and Pink’s lyrics follow..
Money, get away (It comes, it goes.. either too much or not enough)…
Get a good job with more pay and your O.K. (Unless ya hate it, it’s too fara drive, the boss isa creep, your coworker has BO)
Money it's a gas (No… it takes friggin money to BUY gas… what usedta be ‘slush fund’ now goes in the tank and slushes…)
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash (See above)….
New car, caviar, four star daydream,
Think I'll buy me a football team (Uh huh.. and after the liquor wears off – be for real)…
Money get back (yeah.. get outta those damned bill envelopes, jump back in my account)
I'm all right Jack keep your hands off my stack. (and Tom, Dick, Harry, etc)
Money it's a hit
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit (I never knew this word was in the song… I’m aghast… I always listened to the AM version… hehe)
I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet (Sorry… can’t relate)…
Money it's a crime (Si.. causes crimes… involved with crimes…)
Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie
Money so they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that they're
giving none away (Here here… root of all evil.. .that little exchange modem… money rocks/sucks.)
"HuHuh! I was in the right!"
"Yes, absolutely in the right!"
"I certainly was in the right!"
"You was definitely in the right. That geezer was cruising for a bruising!"
"Yeah!"
"Why does anyone do anything?"
"I don't know, I was really drunk at the time!"
"I was just telling him, he couldn't get into number 2. He was asking
why he wasn't coming up on freely, after I was yelling and
screaming and telling him why he wasn't coming up on freely.
It came as a heavy blow, but we sorted the matter out" (That’s it? WTF does that have to do with anything? Oh well.. .the resta the song rocked – and the rythymn was awesome… Money… It’s a gas)…
Later……. Victurd.
Money, get away (It comes, it goes.. either too much or not enough)…
Get a good job with more pay and your O.K. (Unless ya hate it, it’s too fara drive, the boss isa creep, your coworker has BO)
Money it's a gas (No… it takes friggin money to BUY gas… what usedta be ‘slush fund’ now goes in the tank and slushes…)
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash (See above)….
New car, caviar, four star daydream,
Think I'll buy me a football team (Uh huh.. and after the liquor wears off – be for real)…
Money get back (yeah.. get outta those damned bill envelopes, jump back in my account)
I'm all right Jack keep your hands off my stack. (and Tom, Dick, Harry, etc)
Money it's a hit
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit (I never knew this word was in the song… I’m aghast… I always listened to the AM version… hehe)
I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet (Sorry… can’t relate)…
Money it's a crime (Si.. causes crimes… involved with crimes…)
Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie
Money so they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that they're
giving none away (Here here… root of all evil.. .that little exchange modem… money rocks/sucks.)
"HuHuh! I was in the right!"
"Yes, absolutely in the right!"
"I certainly was in the right!"
"You was definitely in the right. That geezer was cruising for a bruising!"
"Yeah!"
"Why does anyone do anything?"
"I don't know, I was really drunk at the time!"
"I was just telling him, he couldn't get into number 2. He was asking
why he wasn't coming up on freely, after I was yelling and
screaming and telling him why he wasn't coming up on freely.
It came as a heavy blow, but we sorted the matter out" (That’s it? WTF does that have to do with anything? Oh well.. .the resta the song rocked – and the rythymn was awesome… Money… It’s a gas)…
Later……. Victurd.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
The pregnant left rear steel belted radial....
Noticed a change in Michelyn's PSI... Worried... Sweat beaded up... Really outta balance... Decided to head to the auto doctor --- this could be it -- the new 14" steel belted baby girl..
No time for undergarments - she went in tubeless... Skidded in with a slight shimmy... Man were we jacked up for this.
Tire doc met us... I stayed outside and leaned against the whitewall whilst Michelyn underwent a treadmill test... double checking her RPM's...
We were there long enough there was a shift rotation... Hoping the star's were aligned for the new radial's arrival... To be quite honest, I was flat tired - but certainly not deflated.. Most were extremely cord-ial but the receptionist perhaps needed an attitude adjustment..
Uh oh.. Liner broke (Actually punctured).. won't be long now... Michelyn was now naked, rim beside her... She was dialated (separated) to a 1... Tweren't long at all until we hada new, bouncing baby girl steel belted radial - Cooper. Weighed in at P205-65R.. 14"... Perfect she was.. Perhaps I'm biased.
Ok. Time to take her out and introduce her - you know, make the rounds. Wow. I feel UNIversally ROYAL.. I'm on a roll.. Like I've dunlapped the competition... It's been a goodyear. Happy day, bye bye now, your retread - Victurd.
No time for undergarments - she went in tubeless... Skidded in with a slight shimmy... Man were we jacked up for this.
Tire doc met us... I stayed outside and leaned against the whitewall whilst Michelyn underwent a treadmill test... double checking her RPM's...
We were there long enough there was a shift rotation... Hoping the star's were aligned for the new radial's arrival... To be quite honest, I was flat tired - but certainly not deflated.. Most were extremely cord-ial but the receptionist perhaps needed an attitude adjustment..
Uh oh.. Liner broke (Actually punctured).. won't be long now... Michelyn was now naked, rim beside her... She was dialated (separated) to a 1... Tweren't long at all until we hada new, bouncing baby girl steel belted radial - Cooper. Weighed in at P205-65R.. 14"... Perfect she was.. Perhaps I'm biased.
Ok. Time to take her out and introduce her - you know, make the rounds. Wow. I feel UNIversally ROYAL.. I'm on a roll.. Like I've dunlapped the competition... It's been a goodyear. Happy day, bye bye now, your retread - Victurd.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Sue-eeeeeey....
Driving in this morn... (Oh, in addition to the checkenginelight on.. the brakelight on.. now my left rear tire is pregnant... uh huh.. the bastard's gotta two inch lump that makes wonderful noises as we go down the highway... I'm hoping for a 14" steel belted baby girl)...
Anyways.. driving in the topic was frivolous lawsuits... Seems some guy in Oregon is suing Michael Jordan because he looks just like Michael Jordan and he can't go anywhere in public without being disturbed. His lawsuit didn't mention the fact he shaves his head and wears Nike clothing frequently...
Was another chap who sued his Ipod maker 'cause he was wearing it during an electrical storm whilst he was mowing the grass - and it kinda melted/blew up during a bolt of lightning. One word: stupid.
Gadding about here - I dida search on frivolous lawsuits... Geez, there's hunnerds of 'em... Twas a feller from back West somewhere - sued the MTV show Jackass because they plagarized his name and defamed his good character.. Yes, he'd legally changed his name a few years back to Jack Ass. Actually, it's kinda catchy... how many women would kill to be able to holler out "Hey JACK ASS.. c'mere!".. Or... "Pass the salt Jack Ass."... "Not tonight Jack Ass"...
Sometimes frivolous suits pan out.. like the West Virginia convenience store clerk who injured her back during the "jarring" she received when she opened a pickle jar.. Howabout to the tune of $2.7 million awarded in punitive damages..
(Victor, this next one reminds me of you).. Up yours talkback... In Vegas, a California man sued the Las Vegas Hilton and Mandalay Bay because they'd "allowed him" to gamble away over 1 million dollars whilst he was intoxicated. Hmmm..
You'da thunk the chickies woulda been lining up for this next one - but apparently not so... Several years back a female University of Tennessee athletic trainer was awarded $300,000 for the emotional distress she suffered when then UT quarterback Peyton Manning mooned one of his teammates.. Hehe.
Some feller sued the Bally Health Club because a few weeks after he'd cut his hand on a towel dispenser (temporarily keeping him from working out) he'd gotten into a serious cyberspace relationship with a chicky that ended and left him with emotional distress he said he'da never had if he hadn't cut his hand.
Some lawyer - happened to be a female - in California sued the GTE or whatever Yellow Page company it was... her name was listed under "Reptiles"... hehe.. She received hostile phone calls.. and people would call and make hissing sounds... Apparently her mom wasn't quite as upset - they said she laughed for ten minutes when she discovered it..
To me - it's fairly interesting some of the suits.. Wasa NY business man on a Paris to NY Air France flight... Flight attendants suspected him of "smokin' in the boys room" (yes indeed) so - they barged in.. dragged him out with his pants (undies too) down at his ankles - and drug him up the aisle a few rows. $12 mil on that one.
Then the "WTF?" ones... A nudist colony was sued recently when they were sued by another nudist who burnt his feet during a firewalking ceremony.. Seems he was told it was "safe and spiritual" prior.. Geez..
It's a mad, mad world. IT's a mad mad mad mad world... Hope you're havin' fun in it... Happy day... bye bye now, Victurd.
Anyways.. driving in the topic was frivolous lawsuits... Seems some guy in Oregon is suing Michael Jordan because he looks just like Michael Jordan and he can't go anywhere in public without being disturbed. His lawsuit didn't mention the fact he shaves his head and wears Nike clothing frequently...
Was another chap who sued his Ipod maker 'cause he was wearing it during an electrical storm whilst he was mowing the grass - and it kinda melted/blew up during a bolt of lightning. One word: stupid.
Gadding about here - I dida search on frivolous lawsuits... Geez, there's hunnerds of 'em... Twas a feller from back West somewhere - sued the MTV show Jackass because they plagarized his name and defamed his good character.. Yes, he'd legally changed his name a few years back to Jack Ass. Actually, it's kinda catchy... how many women would kill to be able to holler out "Hey JACK ASS.. c'mere!".. Or... "Pass the salt Jack Ass."... "Not tonight Jack Ass"...
Sometimes frivolous suits pan out.. like the West Virginia convenience store clerk who injured her back during the "jarring" she received when she opened a pickle jar.. Howabout to the tune of $2.7 million awarded in punitive damages..
(Victor, this next one reminds me of you).. Up yours talkback... In Vegas, a California man sued the Las Vegas Hilton and Mandalay Bay because they'd "allowed him" to gamble away over 1 million dollars whilst he was intoxicated. Hmmm..
You'da thunk the chickies woulda been lining up for this next one - but apparently not so... Several years back a female University of Tennessee athletic trainer was awarded $300,000 for the emotional distress she suffered when then UT quarterback Peyton Manning mooned one of his teammates.. Hehe.
Some feller sued the Bally Health Club because a few weeks after he'd cut his hand on a towel dispenser (temporarily keeping him from working out) he'd gotten into a serious cyberspace relationship with a chicky that ended and left him with emotional distress he said he'da never had if he hadn't cut his hand.
Some lawyer - happened to be a female - in California sued the GTE or whatever Yellow Page company it was... her name was listed under "Reptiles"... hehe.. She received hostile phone calls.. and people would call and make hissing sounds... Apparently her mom wasn't quite as upset - they said she laughed for ten minutes when she discovered it..
To me - it's fairly interesting some of the suits.. Wasa NY business man on a Paris to NY Air France flight... Flight attendants suspected him of "smokin' in the boys room" (yes indeed) so - they barged in.. dragged him out with his pants (undies too) down at his ankles - and drug him up the aisle a few rows. $12 mil on that one.
Then the "WTF?" ones... A nudist colony was sued recently when they were sued by another nudist who burnt his feet during a firewalking ceremony.. Seems he was told it was "safe and spiritual" prior.. Geez..
It's a mad, mad world. IT's a mad mad mad mad world... Hope you're havin' fun in it... Happy day... bye bye now, Victurd.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Perve or praise? A whole new meaning to "First Chair"....
Saginaw, MI: Middle School Female Band Teacher found guilty of having sex with 6 students.
There's a blog sponsored by the Kansas City Star where one can hone in on the subject - and it was fairly wild, fairly interesting, fairly bizarre - and even a liberal old shit like me was kinda shocked by a few comments....
My personal opine is that any sexual conduct between teacher and student is inappropriate - to take "advantage" (could that possibly be the right word?) is wrong, and also illegal.
That said - I married someone seven years, four months younger than I. I was 30 - but what if I'd been 21? Would that have been right? Did I purposely "prey" on one younger? Of course not - but I have eyes, ears - and I too was a former teacher and there were some very valid points made - and again, an interesting read for the most part...
Teacher is 32, students were basically 16 years her junior. If the 48 year old male teacher fired on the 32 year old Band Teacher - "even Steven?" No, of course not. But as one pointed out - what's the real meaning when you hear someone say "wow... he/she is really going to break some hearts one day."? There is sexual content there - I don't care what anyone professes otherwise - but I guess the difference is to act upon makes one a predator by law.
(Victor are you saying you wanted one of your 8th grade girls basketball players to swing by your apartment after practice?) Of course not talkback, but again, I'll also admit to remember thinking "this young lady is going to be a knockout someday." Am I sick? No, I don't think so.. I never once had the notion nor the want to jump in the sack - and yes, I see something wrong with the thoughts of wanting to jump in the sack - and much worse, to actually do so indicates a very definite mental abnormality.
I remember coming out of practice one day to find a "love note" on the windshield wiper of my car... I knew who had written it - her behavior had suggested same - and to be quite frank - it repulsed me. One of those situations where you wanna ask someone "smarter", "Wiser" how to respond - but also one of those situations where you simply can't. I didn't do anything. I didn't approach her and admonish her - and no talkback - I didn't buy some Boones Farm and ask her to my place - I simply ignored - and as I always was - was very careful with any verbiage between me/her and any of the youths..
Dads of kids 14-16 wrote into the blog "Hell Yeah... way to go son!"... Mothers wrote in "You perve.. what if this were your 14-16 year old daughter?"... Many asked if this was a new thing... Many replied it had been going on for years - and there were personal experiences...
Ok, so... when I was a senior in high school was I ever attracted to a female teacher? Of course. Had any action been taken on that - would I have been a criminal? Would she? Would it have affected me for the remainder of my life? Who knows...
Gracie teaches middle school... I remember saying one day "Holy shit, I wish I woulda hada hot teacher like that when I was in 8th grade." Is that ugly? Beautiful? Perverted? Normal?
I guess it dwindles down to the difference between desire and desirous. If I'm a 32 year old 8th grade band teacher who desires the French Horn player - there's something wrong with me. If I, however, find the French Horn player desirous - it is an observation - not and act - and maybe simply nature.
If I'm a 17 year old high school student who desires my pretty English Teacher - then slap me and remind me what she'll look like when I'm 40 and she's 55! Ok, maybe said tongue in cheek - but I see no harm in seeing her as desirous. I think it's fairly normal preparatory thought toward a future life of wonderful sex.
Anyways.. if you'd like to read - it's at http://blogs.kansascity.com/crime_scene/2006/07/middle_school_b.html
Brings a whole new meaning to "One time... at band camp"... Hehe. Happy day, bye bye now.. Victurd.
There's a blog sponsored by the Kansas City Star where one can hone in on the subject - and it was fairly wild, fairly interesting, fairly bizarre - and even a liberal old shit like me was kinda shocked by a few comments....
My personal opine is that any sexual conduct between teacher and student is inappropriate - to take "advantage" (could that possibly be the right word?) is wrong, and also illegal.
That said - I married someone seven years, four months younger than I. I was 30 - but what if I'd been 21? Would that have been right? Did I purposely "prey" on one younger? Of course not - but I have eyes, ears - and I too was a former teacher and there were some very valid points made - and again, an interesting read for the most part...
Teacher is 32, students were basically 16 years her junior. If the 48 year old male teacher fired on the 32 year old Band Teacher - "even Steven?" No, of course not. But as one pointed out - what's the real meaning when you hear someone say "wow... he/she is really going to break some hearts one day."? There is sexual content there - I don't care what anyone professes otherwise - but I guess the difference is to act upon makes one a predator by law.
(Victor are you saying you wanted one of your 8th grade girls basketball players to swing by your apartment after practice?) Of course not talkback, but again, I'll also admit to remember thinking "this young lady is going to be a knockout someday." Am I sick? No, I don't think so.. I never once had the notion nor the want to jump in the sack - and yes, I see something wrong with the thoughts of wanting to jump in the sack - and much worse, to actually do so indicates a very definite mental abnormality.
I remember coming out of practice one day to find a "love note" on the windshield wiper of my car... I knew who had written it - her behavior had suggested same - and to be quite frank - it repulsed me. One of those situations where you wanna ask someone "smarter", "Wiser" how to respond - but also one of those situations where you simply can't. I didn't do anything. I didn't approach her and admonish her - and no talkback - I didn't buy some Boones Farm and ask her to my place - I simply ignored - and as I always was - was very careful with any verbiage between me/her and any of the youths..
Dads of kids 14-16 wrote into the blog "Hell Yeah... way to go son!"... Mothers wrote in "You perve.. what if this were your 14-16 year old daughter?"... Many asked if this was a new thing... Many replied it had been going on for years - and there were personal experiences...
Ok, so... when I was a senior in high school was I ever attracted to a female teacher? Of course. Had any action been taken on that - would I have been a criminal? Would she? Would it have affected me for the remainder of my life? Who knows...
Gracie teaches middle school... I remember saying one day "Holy shit, I wish I woulda hada hot teacher like that when I was in 8th grade." Is that ugly? Beautiful? Perverted? Normal?
I guess it dwindles down to the difference between desire and desirous. If I'm a 32 year old 8th grade band teacher who desires the French Horn player - there's something wrong with me. If I, however, find the French Horn player desirous - it is an observation - not and act - and maybe simply nature.
If I'm a 17 year old high school student who desires my pretty English Teacher - then slap me and remind me what she'll look like when I'm 40 and she's 55! Ok, maybe said tongue in cheek - but I see no harm in seeing her as desirous. I think it's fairly normal preparatory thought toward a future life of wonderful sex.
Anyways.. if you'd like to read - it's at http://blogs.kansascity.com/crime_scene/2006/07/middle_school_b.html
Brings a whole new meaning to "One time... at band camp"... Hehe. Happy day, bye bye now.. Victurd.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Blowjobs… I’ve got gas… and apologies…..
Wow - that’s a combo huh? I can just see what your seedy little mind (ok, apologies)… er, wonderful brain has come up with as to the content of this little diddie..
Well it ain’t that exotic – apologies… No, I didn’t fart whilst obtaining fellacio and have to apologize…
Back before band camp – I was watching one of the many national network daily news/talk shows – and they had this chicky on that had begun her own blog… I enjoyed what she had to say – so I went to her site (dooce.com) and began reading… Fun – so much fun to have a peek inside her life from her shoes…
I hadn’t gone back to her site to read in months.. but did so this morn… What began with the intent of simply typing/venting/sharing/creating etched words from her keyboard has escalated into a vehicle that has ads, streamers, etc – to the tune it now pays her family’s mortgage plus a little…
An IT mag reporter was sent to her house to learn how this all evolved – and how she’s gotten to this point where her blog has become the breadwinner for the family. Succinctly, she summed it all up “I had to give lots of head.”
The blowjob could be an entire article – but just gonna touch on it with brevity today… Couplea chicks at work – they value everything in terms of "how many blow jobs?" Night out with the chicks: (1 blowjob)… .. New sterling necklace: (2 blowjobs)… One chicky even made up a “coupon book” for her man’s birthday – included within were three coupons for “bring me this for a blowjob”…. Hehe.
Gas. If you were to look in my little “organizer” black book in my car – there’s great chances there would be some mail from 2005 unopened in there. My strategic, technical method for paying bills is – when I feel like it, when I have real money in the bank, or when they send me one of those bright pink (or yellow, or bright green) little “pay this mo-fo NOW or we’ll cut this little cocksucker off” envelopes.
I had a “holy shit” $197 gas bill a couple of months back… Like most I guess, I struggle with the gas bill in the winter – and the electric bill in the summer… At the time, there was “more bill than money left in the account to make it until the next payday” so I stuck the envelope into my “organizer” – surely I’d look at it again – oh – by Christmas or so…
Time passes, next gas bill arrives.. AHA, it’s only $105… I can handle that.. “I wonder what’d happen if I pay the $105, and NEXT payday I’ll send ‘em the $197. I logon, pay the $105… stick the opened bill including the current $105 and the past due $197 into my organizer – and figure I’ll get too it sometime shortly after Maynard has a job.
Time passes… Apparently, when the next gas bill arrived – the $197 was however many days late – and my payment “trick ‘em” plan didn’t work… “Dad… the guy from the gas company turned off the gas today… he was real nice though”… SHIT. BASTARDS! THOSE FUCKERS DIDN’T SEND ME A BRIGHT COLORED “READ ME OR ELSE” fucking shutoff notice – so… I didn’t notice.
Ever take a cold bath?? We’re talking major shrinkage. So… I immediately logon to the Gas Company’s site.. get out my debit card… zoom pay the $197 past due and the fitty-six dollar one from this month… and dream of a steamy shower the next day… didn’t happen, didn’t happen and didn’t happen.
I don’t have a cell.. I’m not “with it” enough to take $.50 cents to a pay phone – along with their phone number – and call them during business hours… I have a paper thin cubicle here at work – and I’m sureashell not gonna call and be the subject matter of future lunch breaks.. Finally, I did call from the cubicle – and quietly talked to the nice lady about getting it turned back on… Tomorrow – I will take a hot, warm, relaxing bath.
Apologies. If you’ve been here before – you’ve heard me speak of Maynard – and regrettably – my comments probably aren’t too much in positive nature.. Last night we spent the most time together we’d spent in literally 3-4 years and it was good… very good… As a parent, we’re all about “geez, I can’t wait until they learn this.. or that…”… Then, you redfacedly get stuck with a situation where THEY teach you and it’s one of those GD/great moments – and you feel drippy because of thoughts (or blogs) where you’ve been a basher. I know I’ve bashed Maynard – and think oft times it’s simply for venting – so – I apologize… to him… to you…
In ending – another great time of year… transition.. once green – now brown grass will soon have hints of frost… shopping for school… local high school football games around the corner… we only get one chance to live a season during the year – here’s hopin’ we all do our best thru it… hasta la vista baby… bye bye now.. Victurd..
Well it ain’t that exotic – apologies… No, I didn’t fart whilst obtaining fellacio and have to apologize…
Back before band camp – I was watching one of the many national network daily news/talk shows – and they had this chicky on that had begun her own blog… I enjoyed what she had to say – so I went to her site (dooce.com) and began reading… Fun – so much fun to have a peek inside her life from her shoes…
I hadn’t gone back to her site to read in months.. but did so this morn… What began with the intent of simply typing/venting/sharing/creating etched words from her keyboard has escalated into a vehicle that has ads, streamers, etc – to the tune it now pays her family’s mortgage plus a little…
An IT mag reporter was sent to her house to learn how this all evolved – and how she’s gotten to this point where her blog has become the breadwinner for the family. Succinctly, she summed it all up “I had to give lots of head.”
The blowjob could be an entire article – but just gonna touch on it with brevity today… Couplea chicks at work – they value everything in terms of "how many blow jobs?" Night out with the chicks: (1 blowjob)… .. New sterling necklace: (2 blowjobs)… One chicky even made up a “coupon book” for her man’s birthday – included within were three coupons for “bring me this for a blowjob”…. Hehe.
Gas. If you were to look in my little “organizer” black book in my car – there’s great chances there would be some mail from 2005 unopened in there. My strategic, technical method for paying bills is – when I feel like it, when I have real money in the bank, or when they send me one of those bright pink (or yellow, or bright green) little “pay this mo-fo NOW or we’ll cut this little cocksucker off” envelopes.
I had a “holy shit” $197 gas bill a couple of months back… Like most I guess, I struggle with the gas bill in the winter – and the electric bill in the summer… At the time, there was “more bill than money left in the account to make it until the next payday” so I stuck the envelope into my “organizer” – surely I’d look at it again – oh – by Christmas or so…
Time passes, next gas bill arrives.. AHA, it’s only $105… I can handle that.. “I wonder what’d happen if I pay the $105, and NEXT payday I’ll send ‘em the $197. I logon, pay the $105… stick the opened bill including the current $105 and the past due $197 into my organizer – and figure I’ll get too it sometime shortly after Maynard has a job.
Time passes… Apparently, when the next gas bill arrived – the $197 was however many days late – and my payment “trick ‘em” plan didn’t work… “Dad… the guy from the gas company turned off the gas today… he was real nice though”… SHIT. BASTARDS! THOSE FUCKERS DIDN’T SEND ME A BRIGHT COLORED “READ ME OR ELSE” fucking shutoff notice – so… I didn’t notice.
Ever take a cold bath?? We’re talking major shrinkage. So… I immediately logon to the Gas Company’s site.. get out my debit card… zoom pay the $197 past due and the fitty-six dollar one from this month… and dream of a steamy shower the next day… didn’t happen, didn’t happen and didn’t happen.
I don’t have a cell.. I’m not “with it” enough to take $.50 cents to a pay phone – along with their phone number – and call them during business hours… I have a paper thin cubicle here at work – and I’m sureashell not gonna call and be the subject matter of future lunch breaks.. Finally, I did call from the cubicle – and quietly talked to the nice lady about getting it turned back on… Tomorrow – I will take a hot, warm, relaxing bath.
Apologies. If you’ve been here before – you’ve heard me speak of Maynard – and regrettably – my comments probably aren’t too much in positive nature.. Last night we spent the most time together we’d spent in literally 3-4 years and it was good… very good… As a parent, we’re all about “geez, I can’t wait until they learn this.. or that…”… Then, you redfacedly get stuck with a situation where THEY teach you and it’s one of those GD/great moments – and you feel drippy because of thoughts (or blogs) where you’ve been a basher. I know I’ve bashed Maynard – and think oft times it’s simply for venting – so – I apologize… to him… to you…
In ending – another great time of year… transition.. once green – now brown grass will soon have hints of frost… shopping for school… local high school football games around the corner… we only get one chance to live a season during the year – here’s hopin’ we all do our best thru it… hasta la vista baby… bye bye now.. Victurd..
Monday, July 03, 2006
Happy Fourth......
Small towns... Tents on corners... Coolers, charcoal, hot dogs, hamburgers, BBQ beans.. Sleeveless T-Shirts... Dust... Red-White-Blue... Dogs howling... Kids, for ONCE again, outside all day... Family gatherings... Always one "looney" pyro amongst... Sprinklers going so one can make a quick zag through to cool off... Young, bright eyes - snakes, sparklers... The ones of the age "too old" for snakes/sparklers throwing 'poppers' at your feet to try and scare the holy crap outta o'ya... A fine, fine holiday. Havea good one.
Oh boy. Maynard 21 TODAY. Speakinowhich, hearda friend telling a friend over the weekend "whatever you do... don't give up." I ain't. Hard sometimes, but I ain't. We're in the "study life at your own pace" stage - and he's not doing a great job with his 'homework'. Tis Ok - not all flowers start with wonderful, vibrant blooms...
I - am sitting here at work with silky shirt, slacks on - dammit - I forget this has been deemed "casual day" due to the Holiday. Oh well - redheaded and freckled, I guess I've always stood out.
I hope things are good in your brain... I hope you are communicating with the ones you love so... I hope your mind conjures up good things from the past - and dreams of even neater things for tomorrow... Have smiles.. Have laughs... Have love... and.. even throw a popper at Grandma's feet if ya wanna... Hehe, love, Victurd
Oh boy. Maynard 21 TODAY. Speakinowhich, hearda friend telling a friend over the weekend "whatever you do... don't give up." I ain't. Hard sometimes, but I ain't. We're in the "study life at your own pace" stage - and he's not doing a great job with his 'homework'. Tis Ok - not all flowers start with wonderful, vibrant blooms...
I - am sitting here at work with silky shirt, slacks on - dammit - I forget this has been deemed "casual day" due to the Holiday. Oh well - redheaded and freckled, I guess I've always stood out.
I hope things are good in your brain... I hope you are communicating with the ones you love so... I hope your mind conjures up good things from the past - and dreams of even neater things for tomorrow... Have smiles.. Have laughs... Have love... and.. even throw a popper at Grandma's feet if ya wanna... Hehe, love, Victurd
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