Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Zeke, you're an asshole

I never had the courage to say that, but I wanted to. Our ground equipment at the Friendly Sky airline sucked...... really sucked. Oh the airline had plenty of money back then - it's just no one wanted to "placard" a piece of ground equipment and notify Zeke it was in mechanical disrepair. Zeke was our ground mechanic - he fixed tugs, belt loaders, carts, whatever whenever they went down.

We drove those puppies until they literally puked because it was so unpleasant to walk up face to face to Zeke and tell him "Hi Zeke, belt loader R51 - the belt on it seems to be slipping and it like takes forever for the bags to move up to the cargo bin."... Zeke, in his own mode of life would reply "WELL JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I JUST FIXED THAT BASTARD TWO WEEKS AGO, WHATINTHEFUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING TO MY EQUIPMENT?????." .... "Ahm, sorry Zeke, I dunno, but it's slipping."

Zeke had this ritual. After he'd eaten his thermos'd lunch in the corner by his lonesome, formally put in his 8 hours, taken off his Fly the Friendly Skies overalls - he'd approach the calendar... take his magic marker and with two fell swoops he'd obliterate the day's date with an "X"... pretty much saying "THERE, I'M GLAD THAT BASTARD IS OVER."

I actually kinda felt sorry for Zeke. Life should be about pleasantries.

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Sharon arrives at work every day at the same time, backs into the same spot every day - like clockwork. And like clockwork, you can count on a minimum of three passings in the hallway with her daily, and each and every time she's focused on the carpet fibers below. She never meets your eyes eyeball to eyeball - and I'm sorry, it ain't bashful, it's bitchy. We. those of us newly ordained fraternal pledges in college were lovingly referred to as "lower than white whale shit in the deepest part of the ocean." That's how Sharon makes one feel. Carpet fibers are pretty low.

I usedta say "Hi" when I first started working there. Never a response. For awhile, I'd be damned if I said "Hi" again...... Then after a few months I'd say "HI" real jovial-like on purpose JUST to try to get a response. Nope, pissy and comatose. I even got to the point after no answer I'd spout in my most obnoxious voice "Sharon, have a great day." No matter.

Sharon's glass is neither half-full nor half-empty... "the son-of-a-bitch LEAKS." Thank goodness I worked 12 cubicles away from her - but those in the know said she bitched about everything - usually aloud to herself - treated her 3-4 time daily personal callers as if they were "f-in idiots" - and in general, had no interest in purchasing stock in the Coleman company to become a happy camper.

One idiot I work with....... OK dammit, ME....... said... "I bet, once a month at night she goes home and tells her boyfriend "Ok, put it in... BUT HURRY DAMMIT!" (Hehe, a note of apology to all relatives I've shared this blog address with.)

In some weird sense, Zeke and Sharon have helped me combat this rollercoaster called life. Ohhh I soak up the highs... but when I succumb to the depths - I try to remember Zeke and Sharon - and how they unknowingly spread "ugly".

I've been blessed to experience happy tears on many occasions in my lifetime. Ok, 'bout all I have to say on that topic.......

"X"

Victor

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