Just your normal Monday....... oh, but I am getting divorced.

She very nicely called me tonight with congenial details... "Paperwork on the visor of Dru's (our son)car.

Suddenly the urge is here to formalize a campaign on my behalf - but that is one of the more sillier ideas I've had these last four years, and believe me, I've had some weird ones.

Even after I paid off all the thousands of dollars of credit cards we owed with money transferred to me on the death of my father - there was still money left to pay a lawyer to divorce.

Why didn't I? Did you ever believe in Santa? Did a change in your life occur that you had zilcho control over yet your brain was "stubbornly" combatting with NO. Did you ever lose someone, KNOWING FULL WELL THAT PERSON WOULD NEVER EVER BE AROUND and you didn't wanna face the music?

My marriage had cancer as early as 1999. On 5/31/01 it literally died.

Since then I've dated some very nice people... several more than a few times... had some wonderful, romantic, fulfilling times... been told nicely to get lost a time or two... given the dreaded silence to another a time or two....

I suppose this should be a happy day. So many many good memories, maybe this woulda all been easier had I not suddenly swerved to not cross the I-435 medium that time I reached to grab my dropped cigarette on I-435.

To put it in musical terms... I flip-flop between Bob's "Thanks for the memories" to Carlos's "Evil Ways"... Louis's "Wonderful World"... to whoever those guys were "Don't worry, Be happy"...

So here I am, at an age where the term resume' is repugnant. To intermix with relatives begs the thoughts "I wonder whatinthehell happened."... To see those inlaws you loved/adored for so many years - called at the drop of a hat, BBQ'ed, partied with, shared good/bad with....... DIFFERENT.

I once heard a disc jockey talking about a high school friend of his continually calling into his show to boast upon the jock and his team-mates and their state championship his senior year. The disc jockey finally said, "Yes, we were quite good... but get over it."

Somehow that rings true. I'll be Ok... I'll be the first to offer a smile tomorrow. I'm playing golf again after work tomorrow, and I know I'll have a blast - and am frankly looking forward to it.

I dream of the day I get within a silly millimeter of those wondrous eyes that feel my eyes are equally as wondrous.

I reckon I'd like to close by thanking my partner in marriage for so many years. Many, many were good. I respect you and I want good for you. You have a lot to offer the world.

Life's all about stages. Just when you feel you've cornered the market on one, it's time to roll into another.

Sorry if this ain't been funny..... I can relate some jokes if you wanna... The running theme at work was "My wife rode off on a Harley in May of 2001."...... or, "There's a lotta sex in my marriage, I just ain't getting any!"... It's life, and I know I'm fortunate compared to many. I will relate back to my wonderful Aunt's comment "There are two sides to every board."

There are demons within us all....... There's a good ego and an alter ego within us all... There's happy and sad within us all...

Like someone might say after the cubicles have been rearragned over the weekend... "Shit, I ain't sure I'm gonna like this."....... Months later we forget how our life was arranged.

Forge on.