Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Just outta reach......

Poor Scruffy. Ten years ago I caught this plea "Victor, I have driven by this place the last three weeks... there's this adorable Terrier... he's on 291 Highway at a business... The guys who own it don't have any teeth... and this poor little 'scruffy' dog is on a 2' chain..... CAN I ASK IF WE CAN HAVE HIM?"

Shit. If you've kept up (keep up dammit if you haven't) you might remember my love of "Oscar"... and Brownie, and Magic, and Stripe... (And there have been a whole host of others.) So I'm a wimp when it comes to critters.

"Sure... go ask the no-teeth guy if we can have him."

Fit-teen minutes later, this tail-wagging, fairly hideous, portly, scruffy dog comes walking thru the front door..... at home, as if he was visiting long lost relatives...

By this time we were down to four cats and one dog. The cats basically ignored "Scruffy", whilst Sadie (our gentle, white, part-Lab, part-Retriever)and Scruffy participated in the normal "smelling of the ends" that all dogs do. (Tails wagging all the while...)

Sadie (probably 28" tall)was "fixed", but Scruffy (14" tall)was still obviously very male. They complimented each other the first few weeks... got caught laying on each other's shoulders for some Kodak moments... and they basically each enhanced the other's life. (Editor's note... Whilst I loved Scruffy, my opine is somewhat biased. Have you ever had a dog that any time you bent to pull a weed, turn on a faucet, pickup a newspaper BURIED his nose in your butt? Nuff said)

All men are pigs, or so I've heard. Scruffy was no exception. After Scruffy had reached "the comfort zone" with Sadie... (The HELL's "the comfort zone?... is that like four dates?... Two months?.... WHAT? THE SECOND DATE? <- SHAME ON YOU!...)

Anyways, they tried. Actually, Scruffy tried. Sadie, at first, obliged. Roughly six hours per day in our back yard there was this Terrier dinger thing sticking out, some 9" off the ground, trying to hook up with this mostly willing female's 'thingy', some 18" off the ground. It simply wasn't gonna happen.

(Close your ears)..... Scruffy would hump away as if he was "there"... Sadie, mostly startled, would behave like the wife of the 50's and try to appease her 'man'. It was disgusting, comical, and I spose kinda sad.

As the years went on, Sadie (Substitute the name Mary, Sally, Jessica, Suzie, Deb, etc here) would snarl whenever Scruffy (Substitute Ben, Art, Charlie, Luther, Dominic, etc.) would want to "get friendly." She would snap at Scruffy and give him those looks like "You've ignored me all day... and NOW you want my attention?" Hehe.

Undaunted, Scruffy tried like hell. It simply never worked. They are both in doggie heaven now..

I ain't all that sure I understand heaven. I've always wondered how Freda, widowed three times, would make it with all her good men in heaven. (Hubby #3 was particularly jealous of her memories of hubby #2.) "Things just have a way of working out in heaven" I was told.

Eh, I hope Scruffy and Sadie are united in heaven. Yes, perhaps play on words intended.

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