Saturday, September 13, 2008

The flashing cursor.. and the second bowl'a chili...

WRITE you SOB, WRITE! As I watched the flashing cursor here… here on this “rabbit in a snowstorm” (plain white page).. I thought of the heart beating.. Circulating. Living, and maybe taking that for granted.

PlentyofFish.. The newest online dating ‘fad’ thingy.. Oh, I search about, search here, search there.. And of course there’s intrigue.. I pity those just starting out.. The thrill, the titillation and anxiously awaited exchanges.. And then I’m reminded of when I was a kid, unwinding that damn cheap string on the pack of Black Cat fireworks - finally getting one free.. Matching it up with my lit punk - and tossing it up in the air in anticipation of the big bang - and “psssssssssssssssst” to the ground it goes. A dud. Damnit. Damn Chinese, or whoever makes ‘em!

Talk of the Euro. At work, we deal tons with other countries. We have to be very careful on costs due to the fluctuation of the Euro, and the exchange rate of our dollar. Daily, we remind ourself “what’s it worth”? Being single is no different.

At the Piggly Wiggly I sat. Money VERY tight at this instant - as in, probably enough for gas, maybe cigs (if I find the buy one get one), and a double-cheeseburger or two from Mickey D’s until payday Thursday midnight. So, rather than eat twice, I saw the $5.48 “All-you-can-eat” thingy - and I dove in for the meal of the day. Started off with a bowl of chili. Then two of the boneless rib thingys.. Another water.. A trip down salad aisle, greenery, pineapple, watermelon, grapes, orange slices, yum… I was full. But, in this situational bout of poorness, I said to myself “damnit, get your money’s worth”… so I waddled up to grab… yes… .another bowl of chili.

Regretting it now, and (close your ears) if you were here too, you would be too! I’m always amazed at how great that first bowl’a chili, soup, sandwich, whatever tastes - and when you grab the second - it just can’t match it… in fact it kinda dampers it, makes one miserable…

Sidetracked. Sorry, got sidetracked. We were talking worth, as in self worth. As in “what’s MY Euro worth?”.. As I watched the shoppers round the corner, many weren’t wearing that ring on their left whatever finger that’s called that’s tween the pinkie and the ‘bird’ finger. Oh yeah, the ring finger. Many weren’t. And I wondered “am I too old for her?”.. “Do I make enough to appease her? She didn’t even count/weigh the bananas, she just grabbed a bunch and threw ‘em in her cart.”.. “Man, she’s gotta nice smile (and derriere).. Nah, she’d see my wrinkles.”

It’s too bad we ain’t all Baseball cards. They’ve got a book that lists the price of each card, by what year it was made, who it is, the condition it’s in.. etc. You could have Baseball Card Match Dating Thingy online. NO! You can’t have a ‘55 Mantle with a 67” Robinson! It won’t work! It would all be very centered and focused - and there would be a restricted list of absolutely all the ones you could match up with. Don’t even email that one, she ain’t in your group, aka, her ballcard’s too much for you.

Emails from ones with very frayed edges, older models - they wouldn’t happen in your inbox again. (Victor you uppity bastard, thinka how many younger women you’ve emailed on those sites.) Uh huh. True. Works both ways though. And each and every time I email a younger chicky, I think from their shoes and see it like me getting one from “67, retired, LOVE Bingo, would love to “press up” during a Waltz… garage sales, estate sales, rocking on the porch swing.” VICTOR! You like all those things! Uh huh, do - but no sure about the waltz part. Ain’t never done that.

Bottomline, howinthehell do you know your worth? How do you avoid embarrassment? How do you avoid feeling belittled? I AIN’T ‘somebody’ but I do get emails from those who I immediately know “huh uh.” It’s hard. It’s just real hard. Makes that Euro shit at work easy.

NEWS FLASH: See? See what I mean? I'd gotten an email from a nice lady on PlentyofFish.. very nice.. and a very nice, complimentary email.. I'd sent one back, thanking her - and complimenting her too. I could tell she was nice, but I could also tell "just not what I'm looking for." Does that make her less of a person? Not "no's" but "hell's no's"!!! Do I think I'm too good for her? Not "no's" but "hell's no's".. Here was her reply:

"One thing I can do with words is read through them...read between the lines, if you wish. So therefore I realize from your response that you do not have the desire to visit with me for a face to face meeting. That is ok. I trust your life will be filled with exciting adventures, as I know mine will. Take care." See? This crap ain't fun, for any of us!


Comparing dating of years ago to that first bowl’a chili at the Piggly Wiggly $5.48 all-you-can eat buffet dinner… is also comparative to ‘Dating, round 2, as old fart” = “the second bowl of chili.

Lycos. MSN. Yahoo. Match.com. Singlesnet.com. Matchdoctor.com. PlentyofFish.com. Ohhhh my tummy hurts. Dealing with “Get your damn money’s worth and grab’a second bowl” is really getting to me. Dating, age old, and second bowl of chili. Both lend one abdominal pain.

Brb. Forgot to grab the TP from the Piggly Wiggly. Today's life lesson: If you go to an all you can eat dinner, and you question whether you should go back thru the line, don't. If you're in a relationship, and you have piddly little crap that getting your verve, your nerve - live thru it. Make it work. Don't go for that second bowl'a chili. Love, Victurds

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