Cruelty….

I thought to myself, “self, this will be an easy topic… just Google that bastard, there’ll be all kindsa stuff.”

Wrong I was. Unless your name is Fido. Or Spot.

I’m talking human cruelty.

American Heritage says:
The quality or condition of being cruel.
Something, such as a cruel act or remark, that causes pain or suffering.
Law The infliction of physical or mental distress, especially when considered a determinant in granting a divorce.

Cruel is what you make of it, what you define it. Tonight, on onea them singles websites (Victor, are you still doing that?… Uh huh. Like the little kid pulling the wagon, sign on it said “Apples, $25,000”… Neighbor walked up and said “are you crazy?”… “No sir, it only takes one.”) So yes, I’m still there.

So, on onea them single’s sites, two emails from one gal, one from another. Both, extremely nice, both - very simply - just not my type. So, the cruel part is no response. I hate that, but much better to do that than lead one on.

Conversely. Saw a gal I REALLY liked. Her words spoke to exactly what I seek. Her lifestyle VERY similar. So I wrote and complimented her on her smile, pics… said “U musta come from good parents… I can tell you enjoy life and you are decent to all people.” And, bingo… ‘Read/Deleted.”

But… that’s the way “dating 2008” goes. Usedta be we’d sneak 20 hours or peeking at one we’d wanted to ask out… observing in the HS hallway.. On the college campus.. At a party of mutual friends… Consulting with mutual friends.. and then “yes, I wanna talk to her.”:

Nuh uh. Today it’s like CNN breaking news. In a millisecond, enough info to deem yay/nay is flashed across the internet - and the (heart) breaking news is flashed. Damnit. Darnit. I HATE being on both sides.

I abhor hurt (and being hurt), but it’s plain ole plain ole impossible in today’s generation. Again, quoting the infinite wisdom of our KC Chief’s Football Coach Herm Edwards: “Get over it.”

And with each one, it is easier. If you’ve “been there done that” you too will know it’s just so discouraging to go thru profile after profile, FINALLY find one you think “yeah… mebbe.”.. and then you look at your “sent mail” and see “read/deleted.” Read/not thanks would be easier to handle, but, again - getting used to it.

Real cruelty to humans. Whilst I love this thing Al Gore invented years ago, it too sends shockwaves thru me upon occasion. I’ve met and become with no less than four very nice ladies here who’ve been thru sexual abuse by a parent/relative. That’s cruel. Makes “read/deleted” easy. Each I have met, remarkably (at least outwardly) comes across as “hey, it’s ok, it was a long time ago…. I’m better… over it.”

I wanna believe, but it’s real hard for me to. Several have made “amends” with the abuser. Not that they themselves had anything to amend. I am very uncomfy (and compassionate) in life when there’s absolutely no way I can wear those shoes, see the view from their eyes.

God Blessya all.

Cruelty of the physical kind. I watched my ex go to work at a battered women’s shelter, and learned first hand of the horror stories. (She never disclosed names, and I had to pry “what happened today”)… “On average” she said “it takes seven beatings for a woman to leave.”

Again, I’m lost on how to deal with this cruelty. I’ve seen my sister inlaw go thru it, my niece go thru it… and I was a spectator. Not even a liaison. Or confider. I sucked. I didn’t know how to approach. THANK GOD both FINALLY got out of those situations, and life for each is again good, full, whole, happy.

Gal at work. I did help. She was a temp. My help, turning her to HR for answers, assistance, led to the demise of her job. She was crying in the parking lot one day… we talked… finally I sensed “are you afraid for your physical safety?”… “YES”.. followed by boo koo tears…

I abhor cruelty. I “helped” that lady, and she lost her job. Today, there’s a gorgeous little gal in our office… black eye last week… soft cast this week… It’s obvious. Dare I say anything? Do I wrangle up a crew of seven of us men to go approach the bastard? It might work, but then again, it might do her in.

God Bless you if you are on the end of current abuse. PLEASE don’t allow the belittlement to twist your brain to think “Well… I deserve this… I’ll try to do better.” No, the problem is with the abuser.

Another onea those blogs where there’s no catchy ending. The verbal/physical abuse thing does kinda put dating “cruelty” in perspective though. I can very much handle “no”, even if it goes unsaid.

Let’s promote kindness.. We just never know the at home situation of those around us. Pump up other’s self esteem. It ain’t hard. Just tell ‘em. Email ‘em. Touch ‘em. Get that damn smile outta ‘em no matter what you do. Cruelty leads to very low self esteem. Let’s makea pact to do our best to offset that. Loveya, Victurd.