Well shake it up baby………

(shake it up, baby)
Twist and shout. (twist and shout)
Cmon cmon, cmon, cmon, baby, now, (come on baby)
Come on and work it on out. (work it on out)

It’s happened. This blog is becoming stale. Victor.. Whomever said it was anything but that? Yeah, I know, but I remember the day in September of ‘06, I actually did have 4 visitors here.

So let’s talk. I need ideas. I’m beginning to bore myself. One can only talk so many times about driving thru Mickey D’s… there’s only so many ways to communicate that the key to a fun life is through our own outlook…

Shall we talk herpes? The election? Obama? Osama? Peyton vs. Eli Manning?

Diet and exercise? Shit, I just read canned vegetables weren’t good for you. Didn’t know that. Thought I was behaving. I’ll never purchase Campbell’s again.

My car? GOOD GOD we’re worn out on that Victor.

I know… what about sex? That’s always a fun topic. Victor.. That’s too private. It’s personal. Individual.

I know I know, but it’s always tickled me to thinka the Preacher at the Methodist Church whose been there for like 40 years.. And to imagine a night of ecstasy between him and Mrs. Preacher.

Or like Mayor Funkhouser? EWWWWWW.. Whatabout that boxer Butterbean? Yuck! Rosie O’Donnel? Double yuck!

Howabout the meek 50-something dude at work with the kinda limp wrist whose wife looks like she could chew him up and spit him out! The WalMart greeter? Orville Redenbacher?

Wouldn’t it be fun, if for just one day, it was “National Nude Day”? We’d all probably wanna vomit, seduce and pinch our nose (respectfully, or.. Mebbe disrespectfully) in the same day!

We all.. Wait! Victor, speak for yourself.. Ok, ur right.. Some of us… maybe undress people with our own imagination sometimes… What if “all that” was formally exposed, and it wasn’t all that? Man, dude, u could like hide that thing with a thimble! Or, wow, your belly really paid for havin’ them kids didn’t it?

Ok, nuffa that. We’re all naked. We’re all who we’re mostly perceived to be by our dress. “I wanna stand out.” “I wanna blend in.” “I want THE BEST.” We’re ‘the façade’ walking.

Sex is weird. It’s the most thought about subject, yet, the least shared subject. We piggos, yes, we say “my goodness did u see her?”.. whilst you piglets counter with “oh my, did u SEE that butt?”

But we don’t talk about sex. Personally. Victor, you can’t start a sentence with but. Butt we don’t talk about sex. It’s not like “Suzie, what’d you do last night?” Substitute “Well, we had some wine.. We took turns taking each other’s articles of clothing off.. Ahm… one of us kinda-sorta pleasured the other.. Then.. Frank hopped on for fast and furious.. And we collapsed in each other’s arms” for.. “Well, I went to Price Copper.. Then thru CVS for my allergy meds… and watched the local news before hittin’ it.”

Fresh. How do u keep it fresh? I’m of the opine it never has to go stale. But, then again, one scooted after 7 years, and another after 19 years.. So.. I guess, if it goes progressively, the next one will stick (no pun intended) with me for like 43 years? Hell yeah, “Oh baby oh baby” AND the discounted $3.99 Grand Slam at Dennys!

Victor, you’re stuck aren’t you. You started this blog, and now you don’t know how to get out of it… Well… that’s kinda personal, but it’s been awhile since I was stuck.. Lemme see, the last time was.. VICTOR WE DON’T WANNA KNOW!

I guess I’ll get out by saying, sex is special. And it’s private. And it’s to each his/her own. Hopefully it’s compromise. Hopefully it’s as exciting as the very first time you laid eyes on each other.

One can only control one’s self. Ceptin’ I hope for you, if it’s your wish, you kinda-sorta lose control every once in awhile. That (so I hear) is a special part of sex. Like something takes over your body. You wouldn’t act that way infronta your kids, your work, your school, your family, your next door neighbor, your Priest. But (there’s that but again).. Butt, maybe oh maybe, it’s an avenue for you to be a different creature upon occasion. I actually kinda hope so.

So Victor. What’d you do that night you met that chicky from Excelsior? “Well, I went to Price Copper.. Then thru CVS for my allergy meds… and watched the local news before hittin’ it.”

You know you twist your little girl, (twist, little girl)
You know you twist so fine. (twist so fine)
Come on and twist a little closer, now, (twist a little closer)
And let me know that you're mine. (let me know you're mine)

Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now. (shake it up baby)
Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now. (shake it up baby)
Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now. (shake it up baby)

Thanks, as always, for being here.. And if you care to share how your night went.. .we’d loveta hear… Love, Victurd.