Silence is golden, but my eyes still see

Ya ever get in a mood where ya just ain’t got much to say?

I have. And what I’ve found, - when that happens - my mind is on 47 other things, and the privy and enjoyment of conversation - for that moment in time, just ain’t happenin’..

I don’t wanna talk “the Election”… no “Iraq” (but God Bless our troops).. I tire of ‘work talk.’

I might even use caller ID to hide, be it family, friend or foe.

A plate of BBQ ribs infronta me, ain't eatin' in 24 hours - just don't want 'em.

I find nothing wrong with “sitting out a game.” I might even read the fun, traded emails at a later date.

Ever been around someone and you felt like stating “gee… for once, I wish you had nothing to say.” There’s a dude at work.. He’s genuinely good hearted.. Means well.. Tries his damndest to make friends but goes about it all assbackwards.. On the other hand, there isn’t one thing he doesn’t know about, or so he believes. He is, admittedly, very intelligent. But once, just once, I’d love to hear him say “Gee.. I don’t know.”

Last night I had a very good time. My very bestest friend, his wife, my two HS runnin’ cronies, one’ of em’s sister - the six of us seated around a table for talk for four, count ‘em, four hours. During this moment, I wanted talk. Absorbed in it. Enlightened by it. Reminisced about it. A friendship orgasm - without fear of herpes, aids, pregnancy or “love me til the end of time.”

Today is ‘celibacy day’. Put nicely, “please.. Can I have some space.” Ever feel thataway?
Ever eat a pine tree? Jk.

Ok, lemme explain how I got here. If there’s sucha thing as an auto shop giving you onea them ‘date rape drugs’ - I’ve had two of ‘em. I’ve read every Bass Pro magazine, Ladies Home Jouirnal, and Nascar magazine Meineke has to offer in the last seven days. I don’t fish, I ain’t a women, and I have a hard time telling Jeff Gordon from Dale, Jr.

But that’s not all either. Onea my very good friends - was involved in an auto accident today. This person has an awesome heart - the company of my employ treated her like dog poo poo - and it was all so undeserved. She finally had it all going for her. New job where she’s (finally) appreciated. In addition to initial starting at a higher rate, she’s attained a handsome raise in the meantime.

Today, she was going North on a two lane highway - I don’t know all the details… she rear ended someone - and her car was in the median, now pointing Southbound. She was having trouble breathing.. But word is (after a hospital visit) she’s ok.

So I’m thankful. But, she’s on my mind. I don’t want funny. I don’t want camaraderie. I can’t laugh at emails. I had a hard time getting into my job - and normally my job flows like a waterfall.

A life jolt, and I’m sorry she’s absorbed it.

I recently told this person I loved her as a person, and I do. I feel so glad that I did - because we just don’t say that enough.

One never knows when life will find them in the median. Who knows if 5 MPH more woulda found her on the other side of the highway with a certain end.

Please, count your blessings. Allow those that you admire/love/are so damn glad you know them - to know just that. With the snap of the finger life can change.

Godspeed KB. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll feel like forwarding you a goofy/fun email I’d received. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll feel like sitting around the table with other cronies I love to reminisce how we usedta do that. Maybe tomorrow I’ll learn from the know-it-all at work and not be bothered by it. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll even be funny here. (Victor, don’t push the envelope.)

Please close your eyes and thinka those in your life you’d really really hurt if they were no longer around. And somehow, someway, touch ‘em. You don’t have to well up and be sissified about it. Just find a way to ‘touch.’ The day might come we can’t touch.

Remember, I talk to me here. It shouldn't take a GD jolt for us to let those we love/cherish know. Let's make a pact tomorrow - we'll close our eyes and imagine life without those that really, really matter to us. Then, we touch 'em whilst they're/we're still here.

Thank goodness - today… silence is golden… but my eyes still see.. Love, Victurd.