Sunday, February 10, 2008

VD, “no glove - no love”, Steve Urkel, and turning 90...

These days preceding Valentine’s Day are filled with radio ads from jewelers, newspaper bra and panty ads from the likes of Kohls, Macys, Dillards, etc.. a kajillion grocery store flower shop blowup heart shaped, lip shaped balloons… Red, Allover red… “Love i$ in the air” for the marketers…

“Back in the day” when I was a snotnose - before the mass media invasion that followed the Beatles landing on American soil - this was all reduced to one little box of flat, cutout “Be Mine” Valentine cards - enough for everyone in your entire elementary class - as well as one for “teacher” and ONE HUMONGOUS ONE for “her” (or “him.’)

Now me, Mr. Wimpy “she’ll have to fall from the sky in my lap” always sadly pitched the ONE HUMONGOUS ONE in the trash - for fear it’d get defiled, laughed at, made fun of, given back - or something of that like. Much like today, if I see a pretty old wrinkled up chicky near my age alone on a barstool - it’d take me six shots of tequila to walk up and say “hi”.. #1, I’d never do it (fear of getting defiled, laughed at, made fun of) and #2 I can’t stand tequila.

It was though - a much exciting, anticipated thing to receive (and give) Valentine cards… You’d go thru opening ones from friends that were just that, girls that were truly friends that were girls - and FINALLY you’d open the one from the one that you’d for sure one day run off to Vegas to marry, raise 4 happy/healthy kids, and have mad amorous (whatever that was) for e’er and e’er… And, muchlike Ralphie finally decoding “Drink More Ovaltine” - the result was usually a bummer.. Patty Gross (my 4th grade heart-throb) I’ve always hated your guts for the nondescript card u gave me that day.

Saw Urkel being interviewed on TV not long ago.. Yes, Jaleel White I think is his name. The topic of the show was ‘safe sex’ and his phrase was ‘no glove - no love.’ Speakinowhich, I assume it was onea you sumbitches here who - after reading of my one brown jersey glove, and my purple stretchy glove ----- just spent $1.23 on four stamps - and mailed me a nifty pair of MATCHING brown jersey gloves. Have glove, have love - thanks! (Next to receiving booby pics in inbox, second favorite result of gifts from blogging!)

Nowadays though… whilst Valentine's Day - sure is special - when one is "without" is kinda like being German on St. Pattys Day, special - but not quite as special as being white on MLK Day.(A very special day for sure, but perhaps, like Valentine's Day in love - just somehow different, not quite the same zest).. Perhaps, VD without another, is even akin to what an athiest feels like on Christmas…

Whatshername’s birthday was February 14th - so I do have fond memories of recent years. Two in particular. I’d taken money’s returned from the IRS to purchase onea the first camcorders ever made - given kinda to family as gift - and captured son’s very first steps not long after… Second, again using tax return money, I bought a Texas-sized round diamond ring (had a visible to human eye flaw in it, didn’t care, that sucker was the size of Delaware.).. Mems to pack away..

What are ur mems? Given/received lacy love things? Home made cards? Did YOU hand out the ONE HUMONGOUS ONE from your pack in the day? Did you ever wear a glove to have love so that there was no VD on Valentine’s Day?

Hope for tomorrow. This morning as I breakfasted at the Piggly Wiggly - again I sat within earshot of the “Liars Club” coffee group… a group of obviously retired men of all walks that gather every Sunday to share tales, stories - and group purchase scratch off tickets to share the wealth… They’re older - and they’re having fun. At fitty-five, I likes the idea of knowing I can still have fun when I’m older.

Phone call to my ex-father in law… We chatted for a short.. Talked about Spring Training starting (YEAH! PLAY BALL, C’MERE ROBINS, BRING ON THE SUN/WARMTH) and I mentioned to him that today I would travel to the State Capitol town for the celebration of my mother’s sister, my beloved Aunt Elva’s 90th birthday party. (At age 90, to my knowledge, there ain’t nothing she usedta do that she doesn’t still do: drive, garden, cook, church, yada yada yada.)

I then asked ex FIL his age.. “84”… We again returned to “spring is around the corner” talk - and we’ve penciled in an 18 hole golf outing for this Spring. Again, I likes the idea of knowing I can still have fun when I’m older.

If u is ‘with someone’ - please purchase them some lacy crap to give. Recognize the day as a ‘spark’. We all know the capability of spark plugs. If u ain’t with someone - I hope you fondly recall past VD’s - and harken up a “you go girl” (or guy) attitude for those that be sparkin’.

Do the Urkel dance… make up a love potion as he did… keep ur own watch out for old farts having fun… and close ur eyes and dream of being with someone if u aint - for hope springs eternal…

Happy Valentine’s Day… Love, Victurd.

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