Replacements….

Me eyeballs have replacements… Me can now see.. My old lenses - shattered, ‘vacuumed’ out - down a drain somewhere..

Iraq.. I cringe every time I hear that a friend’s son, daughter, has enlisted. I fear they’ll one day be replacements.. Car bombs, more replacements..

Teeth. I gotta replacement a few years back… Kinda back about as far as the tongue can feel. Different.. Does its role well, just feels different…

Friend sent an email about kinda-sorta diving into work, allowing it to dominate one’s life… The message being - don’t forget friends and family - for in a very short time we all could be replaced at work…

I have a new cubicle mate.. And two cubicles over, where I usedta shoot rubber bands for simply no reason, a replacement there.. Nice enough people, but like crowns, fake teeth, just feels different..

Dating.. Each and every one, a replacement.. The older one gets, the more GD set in our ways we get, the replacements - they just be different.

New brakes. Don’t tell no one. The day I spent as a Redneck (pouring down rain, I pitched tent next to tire/wheel, draped bright orange tarp over that and the car,) I replaced the brakes. This was no small task (for me anyways).. And in spite of the abundance of plastic overhead - I was soaked, freezing, and exhausted some four hours later.. As I finished and went for “the shade tree mechanic’s orgasm” (no parts leftover) - I noticed in the bottom of the brake pad box these little metal “shim” thingys I was supposed to adhere to the backa the brake pads so they wouldn‘t squeal, shake, rattle and roll. Shit. Story o’ my life that I do oh so love: “it’ll do for now.” The bank teller already has my name on the deposit receipt when I pull in as she’s learned me by the noise the Hot….. Rod…. Lincoln makes as it “woaaaaaaahhhh (sssccccreeeeeecchhhhh) baby”s….

Bedpartner. Selfish each. A Freud kinda thing I guess. Nice enough. Like the fake molar - different.

Pouring the last scoop of dirt atop the just buried pet.. In time, grass eventually grows back.. To the door a pooch shows up.. Homeless… Eh, why not, come on in… Different, fake molar feel. He doesn’t do what the other did. Doesn’t lay in the same places.. Doesn’t play the banjo when scratched there… Different.. Soon, natural.. A parta the family..

Hearts, hips, knees, corneas, prosthetics - all fine and dandy, a miracle, a Godsend. Different.

Favorite athlete retires. Memories and old film all we have.. We try to love the new guy, different.. Just not the same..

I coached women’s college basketball, or tried to. Played Haskell, an Indian school. “I know, we’ll play man-to-man, full court pressure allover.” I don’t say this to group/lump all - but somehow - they all were 5’6” tall, long jet black hair, each built damn near identical.. By the time my players searched and finally found the number of the person they were to guard, the ball was coming through the net at their basket. Great coaching move Vic. What’s worse? They replaced players five at a time. About the time our gal’s found an identifier (“The one I’m guarding has a small mole over her left eye”) the replacements came in. Shit.

Geese flying. Ain’t checked Snopes - but long heard when geese fly in formation, and they lose a brethren, they keep that spot unoccupied. No replacement. Don’t wanna look in Snopes - I wanna believe that’s true. Like “there IS a Santa Claus.”

Some things, you can’t replace. Feel. You can add to it, but you can’t replace it. Hope. Smiles. Family. Words said. Email that’s sent.

Some things we don’t “re-place” in same spot and it leaves us in bind. Car keys. (Misty?.. Yes, yes, she did. WalMart. “we’re just going in for a second, I’ll leave it running.”) The remote. Yes, I always tip over the couch before I get up, walk to TV and manually change it from Fox to ESPN. Pens. Earrings. The other sock that matches. That one envelope we know we had that keeps us from finishing taxes.

Thanks Teresa for the email reminding ourselves not to get too caught up in (really, unimportant) things that don’t deal with our family, friends, loved ones. You can have an addition to the family. You can gain a friend. None can be replaced.

I had a “catchy” ending to all this shit. Just can’t find where I placed it in my brain. Please know I love you. Please know I’m a shit because each and every time I see a comment, get an email the very first thought that goes thru my brain is “I’ll respond…. later” and I sometimes forget. None go unappreciated.

Byeee… Going to referee. Replace somea the money I spent last night. You might be a Redneck if you drive your car across town and get more oglers than a car wreck would. GD I gotta replace those brakes again soon. Brakes my heart. Love, Victurd.