Well… I hear water is important, so… in effort to make sure and get good, clean, non-bacterial water - my current drink of choice is Miller Lite… distilled to get the yuck out.. Safe… Even, upon occasion, makes me funny.. (talking…. And looking)… I also find, it aids in “prettying up” the opposite sex…. And.. Assists me in walking up and saying stupid things like “Heavy Penguins”:… huh?…. Icebreakers..
Distress signals… Ya gotta get off the island.. And you don’t have to be an advertising exec when you find yourself in this predicament… I’ve tried, Matchdoctor, Match, Yahoo, Singlesnet, MySpace, MSN, bars, sport‘s teams, bowling, work, etc... And I just haven’t been able to entice - THE RIDE off the island… There’ve been a few who’ve tried to save me - but there always seems to be boat motor problems, airplane prop failure, no gas, no lift… which is all fancy for Goldilocks’s “too this… too that.. Not enough…” etc. No “just right” yet. And, even had one or two say “thanks, but I think I’ll save this other person instead.” Good thing I happen to like coconuts (and water!)..
Enjoy the view and consider it a vacation… Oh believe me I do.. I very much enjoy eyeballing other’s that are stranded.. Occasionally I see one I believe we as a team could make it back to society - but generally the other person ain’t got the interest in survival - or, perhaps has boat motor problems, airplane prop failure, no gas, etc.
Join groups… ease the worry by surrounding yourself with others.. Uh huh.. Helps.. break time.. After hour fun… watching ballgames together… sometimes plain old people watching is fun… Yes, I am seedy.. Upon occasion I see another distressed, stranded person and wonder what they’d look like in a coconut shell bikini….
Snakes…. Watchout… most snakes on deserted island are poisonous.. There are snakes allover.. Don’t associate with snakes… they come in many sizes and shapes… and can even have the appearance of being harmless.. Caution.. Don’t go there.. If you think you’ve found a friend.. And they demonstrate snakelike qualities.. Don’t invest more time here..
Food… eat greens and berries.. They’re colorful, and good for you… Additionally, they might help you/me trim down.. And this generally makes for obtaining a lift off the island easier.. Don’t believe “Save the whales”… People like rescuing fit folks…
Fire.. You gots to have fire for your cigs… you gots to have fire to start a romance… find a way to be ‘found’. Fire is erotic. It’s warm. It’s fun to look at.. Fire is passion. Fire fuels survival - and it can make two bond, be rescued.
If all else fails, call Onstar. Tell ‘em you promise to act on one of those GD daily junk mail letters from Capitol One, and that if they get you off the island - you’ll pay them back with Cap One Visa.
Actually… life here on the island ain’t bad… I could stand getting laid at least every other month though… and… the sand in the crack of the butt I could do without.. But generally, life ain’t bad… I’d rather be stranded here alone than together on and island alone. I’ve heard people say they’ve been in relationships where they’ve felt more alone than when actually alone. Must be the snakes. Or prop failure. Or, too much ‘water’. Sumpin.
May your life be tropical. May you have wonderful, mad amorous sex if you get rescued… May you find that pair of eyeballs that simply say, “yes, this is it. I’m home. I’m rescued.”
Shit. Now where’d I put that sunscreen? Like sand down our crack, so go the days of our lives....
Love, Victurd
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