Testes and Ballrooms

Whirlwind - the weekend was a whirlwind... Friday night BBQ out in the country.. great weather.. summer at it's best... friends/comeraderie... two parallel games of "Washers"... the large Oak tree was the men's john after dark.. casual was the dress... musta been sixty of 'em...

Saturday.. errands... haircut... Gotta kick outta the haircut lady.. a real Customer Service type she was.. walked in..zero eye contact.. "PHONE NUMBER?".. hehe.. I resisted the urge to say "pretty good.. how are you?" - instead I rattled it off.. she punched my number in the computer.. "Victor?".. yep, that's me... "Come on back." I was ready to give her the Miss Congeniality Award for the Miss Liberty contest... up she walks to my chair.. "I'm tired." I smile in the mirror at her - and there was nowayinhell I was gonna eek out "hey lady - cheer up" when she was bearing finely sharpened scissors...

So.. I hopefully loosened her up.. shit, she kept ona cuttin'.. now I look like Whitey Herzog (very very short) and with apologies Whitey - that ain't a good thing...

Gracie had worked to set one of my friend's up with her son... blind date... ne'er seen or talked to each other... friend came to Gracies to change for the wedding.. she walked down the stairs looking gorgeous with a wholelotta cleavage appearing - and I woulda loved to have been a fly on the wall when Mr. Michael caught that first glance of her... Gracie'd been on me before to set them up - I ain't likin' that role - dating is/can be hurtful - I hate hurt - I value each - and I didn't want either to be hurt..

Soooooooooooo....... we're at the wedding.... Bride's lined at the door ready for her entrance... Gracie's younger son walks up damn near blue - literally... He was having extreme pain in the male department... so... we left Mr. Michael and friend to fend for themselves - and off to the emergency room we rode...

Younger son's BP 60/50.. shit... They sunka bottle of IV down him in record time.. preliminary thoughts were some kinda surgery - possible hernia? - ... did a sonogram... whew - no surgery.. twas an infection... testy testes... sank a bottle of painkiller and antibiotic thru the IV... four hours later - he was Ok... "Pain 1/2 of 1 ona scale of 1 ta 10"... Comfortably tucked in bed at home.. we were off the the reception... maybe to rescue Michael and friend?...

Well... by now... 4 and 1/2, maybe 5 hours had passed... a shared meal and a couplea glasses of wine had Mr. Michael and Ms. Friend very much enjoying the evening - each other - and life was good. I was accused of acting like Ms. Friend's daddy - but that's Ok, I'll take that one.. I always wanted me a daughter!

Completely uneventful evening.. oh, unless you wanted to count the shirtless guy that was dropped off at the ER earlier refusing to go in.. Dazed and confused. "we were at a party.. no one knew him.. he was laying face down in the field." Whew, sure appeared to be "on something" -- finally coaxed to walk in the ER (30 minutes, two nurses, 4 security guards later)...

Completely uneventful evening.. unless you wanted to count the wedding was at a casino ballroom.. the groom/groomsmen/other friends had taken a bottlea sumpin into the men's room.. we're gathered around it.. and twas tradition to sing a little diddie they all knew.. passing it from one to the next for a swig... and tradition had it - that it had to be empty before they all went on their way... Justabout that time onea our Bible Belt Missouri Gaming Officials hadta pee... ruh roh.. bringing liquor into a 'casino area' from the outside is a "no-no" in Missouri --- so.. they cutoff the bar in the ballroom an hour early... the restaurants downstairs were told "don't serve THOSE PEOPLE".. hehe.. but it was fun..

Completely uneventful evening.. less'n you wanted to count me talking to the little gal that usedta play HS basketball for me.. she was like a straight A student.. Ms. prim and proper... now.. some 30 yrs later I was tickled to visit with her - she's still a cutey - yet her vocabulary loosened quite well (A little help from the alcohol) -- and I didn't have enough fingers and toes combined to count the F-words she used.. Actually, I was kinda happy to learn she was closer to normal than what I'd thought...

Completely uneventful evening.. less'n you wanted to count the cops 2am banging on the door to the motel room that Gracie and I rented and handed off to all the kids... a 3am Waffle House call...

We comfortably collapsed into bed around 3:30am... I'm too old for this shit.. I can't wait to do it again... Happy day.. bye bye now, Victor