I am, you?...
Since I've retired, aged, wrinkled - I've thought about a lot.. And then taken a nap.
Then it hit me. This life thing, it's one great big circle.
Older I get, the more I see 'kid' surfacing again.... Nap/Naps....
Yesterday, I hadn't eaten. Immense craving for a Fudge Stick. "You can't do that, you'll ruin your supper" I said to myself. Then, I had a Fudge Stick. "Mom, do we have another box of Thin Mints?" - There was one on the counter fifteen minutes ago, what happened to it? "Ahm, sorry mom, I already ate it." I resemble that remark.
I saw a meme the other day.. old guy was getting ready to walk out the door. He had quite the combination of clothes on (I think I remember it as a striped shirt, checkered shorts, sandals/black socks, fishing hat, yada.. his wife was sitting in the chair with a pistol. "What are you doing," he asked.. She said "You once told me long ago, 'If I ever go out of the house looking like that, just shoot me.' "
Ever been told (two hours after walking outta the house) "Your shirt is on inside out." Uh huh, me too.
Kids don't care what they wear - and it's quite entertaining to allow them to dress themselves. Additionally, the jeans they wear this year, won't fit next year. I can't tell you how many pairs (12) of jeans I've got of a certain size (I ain't telling) that I know there's no way in hell I'll ever fit into 'em but I'll be damned if I'm gonna toss 'em. "Well, maybe we'll have another child" is like "One day I will religiously go to the gym." Uh huh, right. We outgrow stuff. Kids outgrow stuff.
"Are we there yet, are we there yet, huh mom, are we there" is quite akin to "in 6.8 miles, turn North on 169." We be impatient, like kids. Sit back, enjoy the ride? Hell to the no's.. "it's 1.4 miles less than the first time you asked, 5.4 miles until we turn North on 169."
Selfish. Kids have no jobs. Few 'have to's'.. Dunno about you, but that's me. If I wanna sit my booty in the easy chair and watch seven and a half hours of The Golf Channel, by golly I'll do it, aka 'Pac-Man', 'Donkey Kong', 'Grand Theft Auto', yada. Idle, fat, happy, just like kids, or just like old farts.
To The Outhouse, by Willie Makeit. Kids, old farts, same dilemma. "Is that a pee stain? Go change your pants now" is akin to, (Out in public, buddy says) "Victor, it looks like you 'leaked' a bit, are there no mirrors in your house?" Truth be known, there's one, and it's above my sink in the bathroom, so I take no responsibility for anything below chest level, just like kids.
God love 'em, kids and their beginning writing. The 'E' in their name may be 2 inches above the first two letters and the 'R', four below that. Have you written a check recently? Uh huh, what I'm talking about. Kids/old farts, much in common.
Runs up staircases lead to falls, I found as a kid, and, also just the other week...... Laughs are accompanied by snorts....... We wear our birthday hat ALL day....
I want what I want, and I WANT IT NOW!
Staying in bed till noon on Saturday, or, whatever day in the summer for kids, or, in retirement for old farts...... Cannonball into the swimming pool, on purpose as a kid, not so much on purpose as an old fart.
Thinking wild thoughts and love all the little pleasures that make life. Yum as a kid, yummy as an old fart...... Making funny faces at kids on the bus, just as much fun 60+ years later...... We old farts get on people's nerves - just as kids can do.......
Kids cry at the drop of a hat, "No, you can't have that." "I told you MAYBE later, but not now." We old farts cry at the drop of a flashmob, a Marine coming home early to surprise his/her family, a story of an aging pet.
Bald spots...... Have a hard time listening..... We (kids, old farts) get distracted, a lot...... We, dance without care...... Life may be like a box of chocolates, but we too may pull one out, turn that sucker over and stick our finger in it to see if it's the kind we want. No? Then we put it back. Don't tell.....
There is no heart to mouth filter, we can make things awkward, but, at least ya know where we (kids/old farts) stand...... Flintstone Gummy Vitamins/Centrum Silver...... Balance, lack thereof......
We each mebbe have persuasion issues. Set in our minds, expectations of an objective answer has a bleak scope.....
Honey? In case we get in an accident, do you have on clean undies? "Yeah, I flipped 'em."
It was sooooooo much fun being a kid. It's soooooooo much fun being an old fart.
We're cute. I'm the baby, gotta love me. I'm the old fart, gotta love me.
Kids come out wrinkled. We go out wrinkled. What a great time of life - each.
Love, Victurd
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