Us old folks will recognize that as our beloved Popeye....
Buddy o' mine posted yesterday about finding a solution to anxiety over, "well, everything".. it was a tether ball, and he grabbed his baseball bat and whacked it one way, then whacked it the other way upon it's return, etc., etc., etc.
Popeye, of the above, in that episode took out his can of spinach, and, well, you know the rest. Speaking of tether ball poles, I've always wondered why he just didn't feed it to Olive Oil.
It was suggested to Edwin, my friend with anxiety over alla the stuff alla us have anxiety over (ain't that the nowadays way of the world?) that he go to Cici's Pizza and play the "Whack-a-Mole" game for an hour, kids be damned, "Wait your turn!"... Well, I loves me some Whack-a-Mole. As an 8 month veteran of retirement, I'm finding more spending than funds to spend - so, considering a part-time job. Mebbe at Cici's.. I could control the speed of the moles coming up - for kids, I'd slow it down.. then, if it looked like an adult I may not like, I'd crank that puppy to warp speed. Ha! Take that!
Another 'friend', kept a Voodoo doll on the fridge, and when someone pissed her (oops) off, she'd strategically place a straight pin on the voodoo person. Victor, whodo Voodoo? Well.. it was an ex... those that know me have a fitty fitty chance of getting that right.. You know, it's like I have black socks, and I have white socks.. I grab two in the dark, I gotta fitty fitty chance of getting the right answer/pair.
I too oft times find myself at wit's end. (Google tells us "The idiom at wits' end means to be very upset, or at the limits of one's emotional or mental limitations. It's commonly spelled at wit's end, but we say at the end of my wits, not at the end of my wit, so wits' end makes more sense.....) Prim, proper, homework, do this don't do that all give me anxiety. So, wit's end. Where was I..............
Oh yeah.. when I find myself in times of trouble (no, not Mother Mary..) I try to seek satisfaction, so.. I'll crank up I Can't Get No, Satisfaction. The older I get, the more I kinda sway from John, Paul, George, Ringo to the Rolling Stones. Ain't real sure why, but, ain't gonna get anxious over it.
Or, I listen to that Pharrell dude, fa' real, I do. Makes me happy, seeya later anxiety, don't let the blood pressure sleeve hitya in the ass. (Oh, that reminded me yesterday.... well....
That's a lie.. a text from WallyWorld Pharmacy reminded me, "time to refill blood pressure meds" so I did.. I also have tired of Whack-a-Moling, I've had all I can stands ANTS AND FLIES in my house... so, whilst at Wally, I bought four little 'apartments' (filled with poisin) for the ants, and four of those yucky fly strip things... as I rethink that decision, accidentally pressing up against those damn things several times yesterday and today - I ain't sure what makes me more anxious - the flies, or, walking into the fly strip only to have it follow me around the damn house. Time for more music, or whack-a-mole, or sumpin.
WOULDN'T IT BE NICE, if there were reminder texts (like Wally's Pharm reminders) for anxiety, and it would text you at no specific time of the day "Go listen to Louie Armstrong's Wonderful World"... or.. a video of the most recent Boot Barn commercial (THAT, is one fine looking lady... seeya anxiety.)
Annuder tool I use - remember the old Magic Erase thingy? It was made of heavy gauge cardboard, covered by a thin plastic sheet, you'd write whatever you wanted, lift the sheet and it would be magically erased. Using same, I won't be subject to second guessing like (former) Governor Greitens and the text deleting app he used, or, Hillary Clinton and her private email fiasco, and certainly not as "duh, really?" as the two FBI dudes who used company phones to text back and forth "Trump? Really?" Hells to the nos, Magic Erase was WAY AHEADA it's time. So... I draw pictures of people I no likey, add boogers, nose hairs, ear hairs, bald spots, and voila, lift that plastic up and away the evidence goes. It's soothing. It's better than Welbutrin.
Or, (had all I can stands, can't stands no more) I drive to the Community Center, don my swimsuit, take a quick shower to make it look like I've been working out in the gym an hour - and I then go to the sauna, anudder quick shower and then off to the Jacuzzi. Ah, YES! (NO correlation to seeing women in swimsuits, ok, maybe a tad.) I usedta do the sauna, then go straight to the Jacuzzi, until one day some lady say "You no follow rules, you must takey shower after sauna" - and she was right, so I do do that now... Victor, you can't use "do do" back to back. Ahm, I let my dog out to go do do, ha, take that!
Stress. Anxiety. All I can stands. Wit's end. Ya do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about.
Golf. Golf also does it for me. Oh, I usedta get all bent outta shape, into the throw club mode - but I've reached the conclusion I'm always going to be a terrible golfer - so, now, when I doink one in the pond I imagine to myself Billy Bass saying "What the hell is that Gertrude Bass?".. or, shanking one into the woods, and envisioning a Rocket J. Squirrel running up to try and eat it.
OK, I'll go now, I can sense your frustration, anxiety with this blog. (Mine too)..
So....... (Victor, don't preach).. Bite me.. So... try whack-a-mole.. or The Rolling Stones.. or Pharell.. or "Tether (Base)Ball"... or, do do a Voodoo doll.
Then again, I saw a fun meme yesterday that said "If someone is really annoying to you, run up and slap them and then yell MOSQUITO!"
Have fun humans, but be humane, don't put the straight pin in the crotch,
Love, Victurd
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