Inch…

I love that word. Virtually everything around us has ‘inch’ in it. The 34” belt I’m wearing. The 7 5/8” hat.. The 17” monitor you’re looking at to read this.. And uh huh, we have the inch word involved with our breast sizes and you-know-what sizes.. They say there is correlation ’tween the inches of a man’s thumb to his you-know-what.. Damn that I could never palm a basketball.. Inchy.. Oh Ok, I too know it's a 36" belt.. and YES, I realize it's getting pretty tight.

Obits. To me, people are people, all worthy. $ome, when they pass, get tons of more inches in the obits ‘cause they can affordta. Doesn’t make $ense to me, but reckon it does to the newspaper.

S’more diddies I ran down.. Every inch of the body has an average of 32 million bacteria on it. Keeping up with the Jones’s has us purchasing bigger and better inched HD TV’s. “Harvey just boughta 48”…., come on, we’re going to Best Buy.”

We grew up on 8 ½ by 11. Kids nowadays listen to Nine Inch Nails… Mommy and daddy buy for them the biggest inch display all-everything cell phone they can.. We were sposedta get ridda inch, go to metric in the 60’s, ain’t never happened.

We got 3 inches of rain. Don’t move an inch. Sometimes my van inches along very slowly. Inchworm. Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. Give him an inch, and he takes a mile

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right. ~Ben Crenshaw.. An inch of time is an inch of gold but you can't buy that inch of time with an inch of gold.

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. Scarlett O'Hara had 16 inch waist in the beginning of Gone with the Wind....

If you were only one inch tall, you'd ride a worm to school.
The teardrop of a crying ant would be your swimming pool..
A crumb of cake would be a feast
And last you seven days at least,
A flea would be a frightening beast
If you were one inch tall.

If you were only one inch tall, you'd walk beneath the door,
And it would take about a month to get down to the store.
A bit of fluff would be your bed,
You'd swing upon a spider's thread,
And wear a thimble on your head
If you were one inch tall.

You'd surf across the kitchen sink upon a stick of gum.
You couldn't hug your mama, you'd just have to hug her thumb.
You'd run from people's feet in fright,
To move a pen would take all night,
(This poem took fourteen years to write--
'Cause I'm just one inch tall).

I stole somea this. Bout an inch worth. Back in a few. Taking my 5’11” person to Lumber store. Gonna go buy me some 2 by 4’s. Then, I’ll chow down on a 6 inch sub. Dunno if I’ll have time to buy the much needed fitteen inch tires. Sorry this grew to so many inches. You know us men, we tend to overestimate the truth about inches. Rise up and tell the truth.

With love, from 1.25” margins, Victurd.