Cold…

Spent the commute thinking about cold. Couldn’t conjure up much good associated with it. Cold cuts mebbe. Nice cold drink in the summer. Coming into the (cold) air conditioned house. Bout it.

It’s friggin cold. One thing I’ve noticed over all the years – this shit happens every year! We tire of it. We know spring is around the corner – and when The Maker teases us with a pleasant day – we think “YES, THIS IS IT… HAS ANYONE SEEN A ROBIN?” -… then, four inches of snow fall.. wind chills plunge below zero… and the 24 hours in every day in February seem to last 48.

Some people are, in general, cold. Frankly, I try to avoid ‘em. Lady here, I’ve heard she has bad hearing.. I ain’t sure. Ne’er eye contact, ne’er a smile, ne’er a “Hello.” Cold. I swerve to avoid.

Some folks are moody – have temporary ‘cold’. Tis cool, no one understands what’s going on in the gourd, the life, the relationship, the family, temporary cold is cool – no pun intended.

Reception. Be it a concert, a meeting, a statement, a thought, and idea – can be met with cold reception. Notta good feeling. Cold hurts. Cold bites.

Everyone loves naked. Cold makes that impossible. More. More. More clothes. Layer them suckers. “I know I look like I weigh 260 lbs, but with all these damn layers of crap on – I’m actually 195 under here.” That wasn’t me. I’m presently at 210, and I refuse to step on the scales again until workouts resume. Victor, when are the workouts resuming? “Man, you feel that draft in here? It’s cold.”

Cold beer. Ok, I forgot one. Never understood those folks who go “jump in the lake” for some cause during the wintertime. Nomme. No way. Nada. But.. it does happen to do strange things to women’s bodies, so mebbe I’d go as spectator. Victor, you’re a pig. Nip that in the bud eh? Mebbe. Oink.

I don’t think anyone is enjoying this blog Victor. Yeah, what I figured, cold reception. Cold glare. Cold stare. Cold shoulder. Ice. Snow. Wind. Freezing rain. Snain. Cold sucks. Cold blows. Cold continues. Cold makes us moan. Groan. Grump. Shiver. Quiver. “OH BOY! ICE ON MY WINDSHIELD! CAN’T WAIT TO TEND TO THAT!”.. Cold in Florida is sixty. Missouri 32. Alaska 0. Different colds.

But Victor, it makes us snuggle too. I reckon, but as much as I love my feather pillows, the snuggling ain’t been too great of late. No one there to “start the car”, get it warmed up. Cold sheets. Cold shit. Rectum I oughta get me and electric blanket. Lot less consternation than adding anudder wife. Victor, the cold responses (or lack thereof ANY response) to your “Hi, howareya’s” on the online sites make me think you ain’t getting another wife. Tis ok. I’d probably have to crank the thermostat up if I were with anudder. I’ll be Ok, will make it through the cold.

Getting a cold. Yuck. Is there anything worse than body fluids wanting out? It’s like they enjoy the cold. Too warm in here, lemme come out through your nostrils, your mouth, your pores, your (ENOUGH Victor, we get the point.)… Your butt. Sorry. Butt I am. Not too worry, I won’t address runny nose, running temps, running poo… oops, sorry. Slipped. (Actually, kinda gushes.. and yes, I’m fitty-seven, sorry. Sometimes life just be poopy!)….

Brb. Going out in the cold to smoke a cig. I enjoy seeing my breath. I’ll try to see if there are any robins out there. Doubtful – another “wind chills near zero” day. Cold. There just ain’t much good with cold. Do Eskimos really rub noses? How do they have kids? Who nose.

Ok, going to work now. Gotta warm up my computer. Getme some hot coffee. Say “whatsup” to my warm, smiling coworkers. (Cept that one. Hehe).. Forgot one. Cold ‘causes shrinkage. A helluva note when your not very (VICTOR!).. ahm, to begin with. It’s the freezin’ season. Spring will sprung one day. I’m thinking The Maker only put 28 days in February for a reason. Cool. (Not cold.. cool.) A word for another day. Cool. Nose rubs to you all, love, Victurd.