Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Here we are and it’s Tuesday again….

Tuesday is an incline day. Uphill battle. Life ain’t a battle, but Tuesday sneaks in as one. Working to get to hump day, wade thru it. Going to closet on Monday is somewhat exciting, after wearing junk/casual all weekend, find a little bit nicer ‘business casual’ as they call it here… by Tuesday, who cares.

Taco Tuesday. Tackle it Tuesday. Tuesday Weld. Ruby Tuesday. Wiki says it comes from Middle English Tiwesday, from Old English Tiwes daeg, named after the Nordic god Tyr, who was the approximate equivalent of the Roman war god Mar, and Greek god Ares. Tuesday is war then?

Justanother day. A day in the life. Ever hear anyone say “got plans for Tuesday?”…. Hells no’s…

I think then, it should be permissible to be grumpy as hell on Tuesday. We could have, by United States agreement, grumpy Tuesday.

“Welcome to McDonalds, would you like a Super-sized Extra Value Meal?”… Hey ya little snotnose, are you insinuating I’m fat, and that I over eat? Why don’t you stick that school backpack over your zit-faced head u little creep……. YES, grumpy Tuesday.

We could permissibly stick our tongues out at ANYONE we want. Flipping the bird on Interstate – absolutely no road rage allowed – it’s Tuesday. Grumpy is Ok.

Thinka how it’d help a marriage. “Sure, go ahead and go… you never do shit around here anyways.”…. “Honey, why do you keep these twelve boxes of clothes here? There’s no way in hell you’ll ever be a size __ again.”… “Sex?.. are you CRAZY? It’s Tuesday!”…

“Screw you boss… I’ll get to it when I’m damn good and ready… Should I be scared? Scared of not getting that 2% raise?.. Patooey.” YES. Grumpy Tuesday.

Tuesday is boring as hell. We needta spiff it up. Insteada waving, u could take your fingers to your lips, then your chest, then your booty. KMA. KMA, it’s Tuesday. Some people are grumpy all the time, would be a damn fine time to get back at ‘em. Ya rotten bastard, how areya today? When’s the last time you got laid? Smiled? You LIVE Tuesdays!.....

And the very nicest people of all.. Wouldn’t it be fun JUST once to hear ‘em hang up the phone after visiting with someone and state… “BITCH”… I’d love it. Nice people grumpy – YES. Permissible. Tuesday sucks, let’s spice it up to where we look forward to it…

“Next Tuesday, I’m gonna put that whoopee cushion on Mary’s chair… then I’m gonna write ‘honk, I’m an asshole’ in shoe polish on the backa Ernie’s car.. Then, I’ll change my screensaver to BITE ME for the day…… I’ll call my dearest friend and have fun “whatinthehell have you been up to bitch” conversation…

It’ll probably never work. Nice people will always be nice people. Grumpy people will always be grumpy people. Flipping someone off on 435 could lead to them running you off the road, perhaps pointing a gun at your… tailgating you at 68 mph. We couldn’t handle permissible grumpy.

I don’t admire grumpy people, but I wouldn’t mind if it were permissible on Tuesday. Tuesday sucks. Have a great Tuesday. I’m certain you’ve been waiting for this day with baited breath. Eyeballin’ that calendar, “YES, Tuesday September 22nd is FINALLY here.” Yeah right.

Tune in tomorrow, mebbe, where the topic may be “Why everyone on the planet should (required by law) hump on Hump Day.” ….. Life is interesting. Love, Victurd.

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