Had’a friend fairly recently tell me “you say you have friends?… I don’t think that.. If they were REALLY your friends, you’d see ‘em more often, do things with them. They'd be 'longterm.'”
It kinda hurt, hearing that - but then I thunk back, looked ahead - and deducted she was wrong. I do admire this person… She’s managed to hangout virtually every weekend since High School (A looooooooong time ago for us each) with the same regular ole regular groupa friends. That’s remarkable. That’s spectacular - I also think it’s highly unusual (as in she’s lucky, that’s really, really rare.)
Stuff happens. Babies are born. Address’s change Work gets in the way. Work addy changes. Our bodies slow, and perhaps the friendship centered around (partially) athletics. What’s important at 20, ain’t so at 30. Big for 30 mebbe ain’t that at 40. And on and on.
I also think God blessses us with new (additional) friends along the way. I’m perty decent when together with a friend in asking questions “all about you”. But, there’s two at work (Mary T and Jennifer) who beat me to the punch. It’s a feel good. I’d do anything for either, and vice versa.
"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."
I have a mixture (thank goodness) of male and female friends. It takes awhile, whenya meet someone new - but repeated quality behaviors allow you to finally one day think “wow… this person KNOWS how to be a friend. They rock. I'm PROUD to call them, have them as "friend."”
Friends share important crap about their lives. Stories of their children. Trips they’ve taken. Ideas/plans they have for tomorrow. Then they ask about yours.
"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
So. Do we look at friends selfishly? “If I need help. If I needta talk, I go to _____.” Mebbe. But, we reciprocate too.
I hate rankings, but… my mother was my best friend ever. When she passed, that “best friend” candle was handed down to my sister. When my sister passed - it was my father. When my father passed - the friends, they multiplied.
Close your ears: work wise, I have been a teacher (quit to sling suitcases for $10K more a year), slung suitcases for an airline (Chapter 7), checked in passengers for another airline (We‘re downsizing, you can go to NY or Chicago, permanent part-time), sold air cargo for another airline (Once again, Chapter 7). drove an air cargo truck (Outta business), owned an air cargo delivery business (“Victor, you must make a decision, me or the business“),
Mowed grass at a golf course (I‘d quit a job on principle, got another), managed a Sonic (Was demoted for being “too God Damn nice“), worked where I work now (left to join lifelong FRIENDS in startup Warehousing endeavor.. I’d earn 10% of the business over time).. Tiger Warehouse (the FRIENDS… we were bangup for two years, leased a 2nd 65,000 sq foot warehouse, it bit us in the butt).. Hey Cartwright (where I’m at now) will you take me back?
I’m certain I missed a few. Managed a sporting goods store.. (Got back into teaching), delivered Fritos (decided I wasn’t gonna spend resta life with Wed/Sun off.).. Dealt craps at a casino (by flip of coin I was relegated to nights.. Decided, since only son was “of age he needs dad around” < mebbe fancy for baseball, basketball, soccer, etc - patooey, left.)
Ex FIL “That Victor, he’s a nice, nice man. He’s just a little occupationally challenged.”
I ‘run’ with two old HS cronies now. We email, call, gather. We’ve known each other since we were nine. They both are UAW (Auto-workers).. One retired 6 years ago at the ripe old age of 48.. The other they’ll prolly have to force him out at whatever-age-it-is they force you out. (He loves the $$$’s.)
They’ll have nifty retirements in addition to Social Security.
Me? I have a small 401K, but lookin’ at THAT “resume” - you can kinda sorta tell I’ll be employed somewhere/somehow until the day I pee my pants and forget my name.
I don’t feel cheated. I don’t feel sorry for myself. There are SOOOOO many along the way in my life I’ve called friend. I’m lucky. Blessed even. Sure, I’d love a big bankroll, the ability to cruise here, fly there… buy this third vehicle. I wouldn’t trade all the friends I’ve made over the years for any’o that. Honest.
With each and every one I run up’agin today - we meet, we smile - we remember the day. That time. Special. My life’s been special.
Hell even dating. Friends added. Gracie, Wendie, Kate, Kathie, Annie, Twila, Cherryl, Connie, Carrie (VICTOR STOP).. NO!.. Chari, Reba, Mary, Marie, Vicki,Tammy, Lorraine, Laura, Lori, Linda, Lyn, Kathy, Brenda, Trish, Ok, OK, I'll stop. Again, prolly missed one, or six. Still. That friend feeling every time u run up agin' one. Smiles. Memories. Friendships.
"It takes a long time to grow an old friend."
I’d be remiss to not mention my best friend Sanford. The rotten bastard has dialed my number a total of ZERO times since we graduated from High School, but when we do get together(which we do about every two weeks) - it’s like we were in 1967, or 1977, of 1987. Comfy. Buds. We’ve shared. Today is still yesterday.
If nothing else, I hope all that boring crap above reminded you of the many friendships you’ve built along the way. Mebbe u might scratch out a snail mail. Mebbe you’ll wing an email. Hell, if single, mebbe you’ll even reconnect witha frienda the opposite sex and get laid.
"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes."
This place. MySpace (and yes, checkenginelight.blogspot.com) have brought me new friends. Way cool.. I know Lisa’s sister well, but I’ve not said twelve words to Lisa in my life, yet I love her. She’s a good friend. I’ve never met Rae, but I love her heart. Gail is 2,000 miles away, yet a good friend. Nice job Al, the internet rocks.
Today’s instant message (or text for you whippersnappers).. “Thank you for being my friend.”
Love, your friend, Victurd.
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