Knock knock….

Hi? May I help you? Why are you here? I’m an old fart. Uninteresting. The highlight to my day is petting my cat goodbye in the morning. Ya hear me? Makes no sense you’re hear.

But since you are.. Or aren’t… my day…..

To court with son. We’ve had like five continuances, and I’ve spent the better part of my 48 annual hours of vacation plopped in the courtroom pew watching DUI folks, non-support fathers, inmates, and that - until they call my son’s name… only to hear “July 1st”.. (before it was June 3rd, May-something, April-something, etc, etc. Tis ok, all worth it.

So to work late. 10:30-ish. “Eh, I’ll skip lunch.” Computers went down. She-it, I’ll takea lunch.

Tis our busiest timea the year (however we’re always busy.. Company has a Golden Rule, “give each person enough work for one-anda-half persons, and tell ‘em to ‘chew faster’ “.. I had 36 emails still unread when I logged out at 7:03pm. It’s somewhat like a fitty-five year old going out with a thirty-six year old… I just can’t keep up.

So I was driving home. Rain, modest. Then rain, a sunofabitch. There were folks parked under the overpasses - I kinda giggled, thought of them as wimps… then, my car caughta bigass puddle - I slid over a halfa lane, was heading kinda cata-corner to the way the white lines of the highway were pointing - let off the gas on the HRL, said a baby prayer, and peed a bit.

So. Top end was now 47mph (down from “what the hell’s wrong with you idiots, it’s only rain.. I’m going my normal 68mph.”)

Mother Nature was reminding us who was boss. And she is. I considered joining the wimps under the overpass - then it started letting up.

Three minutes from my hometown - bright, sunny, calm, they’ll never know.

As I got off on the exit to sneak home, I thought to myself “it’s really beena blah day. There ain’t been anything memorable.. You know, like you blog about you asshole.”.. Remember Victor? You’re the UP person. The suckup every moment, “take pictures with your eyeballs”, “pretend it’s your last day on this planet.”

So, I was sheepishly now waaaay down in my seat as I drove. You know. Kinda like how the brothers drive. And then…

THE coolest rainbow I ever seen. I haven’t been to church since… well.. It hadta be when a relative died quite awhile back. More and more stuff like this keeps happenin’ in my life - and I’ve always believed - it’s just now I REALLY believe. I scoffed at “life” because the day was mostly mundane - and then I gotta sign. I do believe.

Changing the subject to pigs.. You know… men… my day also included (each a different person): damn she’s gotta nice booty… WOW, that is one gorgeous lady. I HATE her husband… Those eyes and eyelashes drive me batty. I wonder if she was single we’d “you know”.. This bartender (yes, stopped for two Corona’s.. it was a long day) is pretty much grumpy - but she’s got a wonderful body. Run Victor, you’ve visited this before.

Wow Victor, do you realize you just flip-flopped from “Him” to “staring at booty.” Yes, I know… apologies. Next time I’ll try to somehow hook the two up together… You know, like “imagine what she’d look like in a fig leaf.”

And.. About aging.. The old gray mayor… I noticed.. When I get inta the car - I don’t support my weight on one leg every onceinawhile. I wimpass up to the door, open it, turn around, slowly lower my butt into the car. I hates that. (But, for sometime I’ve been hella careful getting outta the shower to make sure my weight is balanced over the foot the weight is on.) From that, the other day at the softball game.. I hit one pretty hard (for me) at the first baseman. Shoulda gotten me out. He booted it. It dribbled off a few feet. I ran (yes, I ran) my ass offl. JUST beat the throw. “WAYTA HUSTLE VIC!” Even more, makes the getting in car, getting outta tub habits more embarrassing. My body ain’t decided yet, old or “Still going.”

I’d fillya in on the “you know” but there ain’t been no “you know.” (Victor, do you remember the time you went in for a physical, you hadn’t had a date in like eight months and the doctor asked “so how’s it going sexually??”.. Ahm, yes, I remember that. I’m certain, if Doctors have break rooms, I was the butta the jokes that day. KMA.

I give up. Me too, tired as hell. Hey, thanks for the rainbow. Thanks, if your eyeballs are here. Thanks if you’re gorgeous and work where I work I do try to live every minute. Here’s hopin’
u do too! Loveya, Victor