No dangit, not that show.. Just who I am now. What the past has done for (to?) me…
Relationships are great teachers.. They are. When they end, of course, it really sucks - but I’ve finally figured out rather than be huffy about this, really bitter about that - mebbe learn from them?
I’ve always thrown my heart out there too early.. That one I dunno if I can overcome…
Ran up agin’ a friend who’s ex pretty much philandered the vast majority of their marriage. Finally said friend had enough, bolted, is starting anew. They’re really decent friends now, to which I replied “wow”, and said friend said (Victor, can you say ‘said friend said’?… Ahm, I just said said friend said.. The hell’s wrong with that?)
Anyways, friend said “nah, why hate? Why use the negative energy? What good’s it do?”
Very true, and admirable.
From #1 I learned “pay attention.” You don’t share linens, showers, sinks, fridges, garages, checking accounts, spit, toilet paper rolls, animals, thermostats, washers, dryers - and not pay attention. She worked nights, I worked days - we saw each other one hour a day for a long (too) long, time. We got lost. We didn’t pay attention. Thank you Perijo, I’ve finally paid attention to the fact I/we didn’t pay attention (said friend said.)..
From #2. Mebbe I paid too much attention. Something, somewhere, sometime, happened after 20+ years it was all-of-a-sudden different. What was a decent novel, somewhere around 5/6th’s of the way through the book soured. I didn’t get those eyes looking at me when we met in the room like I usedta. (Close your ears) Intimacy was “hurried along.” I silently went bonkers and paid attention to her every move as if to learn “the hell’s wrong?”.. I tried to cipher everything. I looked for defining statements in every day events. I too closely scrutinized the last 1/6th of the book. I paid too much attention. There very definitely was something wrong - and I will foreva remember she ultimately road off on a Harley… but I do think I paid too much attention.
I’m now smarter, I think, than a 5th grader. What’s the average male life expectancy now? Somewhere around 76? That’s 21 years. That ain’t a lot.
I am human hear me roar - but, IF I ever meet her, “I pledge allegiance, to the bag (she’s gotta have a sense of humor) and the United State of A marriage.”
I usedta be a coach. Within coaching comes losses. There ain’t a coach I know that never lost. When I usedta coach - I wasn’t a chair thrower or a “Cuss ‘em out make ‘em run” typea coach.. But losing did bug me. For I’d failed - and there were expectations on me. Twas a reflection of me.
Marriage, I think I can say now, is like coaching. A coach’s soul path should be to prepare every day to make your team as successful as it can be. In marriage, I rectum we should prepare to make it as successful as it can be. If there’s a loss - it happens. Buckle up, strap in, fight harder. Simply do your best.
Success is the result of overcoming/experiencing failures.
Please don’t interpret this as “hmmmm, he’s fitty-five, I’m 20-something, 30-something, he thinks I don’t know Jack.” Oh no no no. I’m more attuned to that than you think. I’ve met 20-somethings that have hella better heads on their shoulders than some 60-somethings I know.
That said, said friend said, them marriages, them years, them wrong turns, them seeing mates make wrong turns, didn’t go for naught. I just realized, after twice scrutinizing over “losses” - all I needta do is simply try my best (and remember I am human, hear me roar.)
Two sides to every board. One can only control themself. Pay attention, but not too much attention. Prepare yourself the best you can to succeed. Do your best.
I’m officially smarter than a 5th grader. Happy day, love,
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