I’ve come to the conclusion we’re all just different…

Intimacy… What a broad subject. No, not “broad” as in chicky... Well, it is that too, but broad as in vast.

To me it’s weird I find myself asking about this, or “studying” it, at age 55.

I guess there are some basic types.. Casual comes to mind… I am far, far, from being a one-nighter kinda guy - but close your ears - it has happened. I know some, males AND females, that simply enjoy intimacy so - they have it as casually as if it were like going to the grocery store. Again, I’ve been guilty - but, I’m of the opine there’s a connection between the brain and the body - but again, thus the assessment “we’re all just different.’

Casual and partnered. There’s one I know that has an out of state love, and fairly frequent in-state lovERS. Yes, I’ve know married that are deeply attached to their mates - but perhaps occasionally they wander - and surely for various reasons.

The “GD I can’t catch my breath” intimacy. This is kinda like “caught up in the moment” stuff. It might be the 4th date… It might be your two week anniversary.. Hell, it might be Night #1. I liken it to getting your diploma the first day of college, and then allofasudden you have to work bassackwards to toil, study, observe, prepare, sweat, find comfort, shake the newness, decide “is this REALLY what I wanna study?”… Many change majors at this point, but they’ll never forget this moment. It’s a real skewed look at a “relationship.”

Exclusive, no certificate or live-in. This is where it gets dangerous. He doesn’t ‘bring it out’ anywhere else, and her legs only open for him. I believe, some tend to wander, or wonder about wandering simply due to “you can’t have that.” Another question oft asked in this scenario “is THIS what I want? All I want? Forever?” Some are scared off. Some hookup forever. Some cheat and fall back to casual and partnered.

Love. In true love, there is seemingly no want of anyone else. Again, with the differences in people - the chronological time this continues varies. The lucky ones continue in this mode until death. With our divorce rate at 50%, there are obviously those that somehow at some point think differently after saying a vow. There are many contributing factors, and sure, I realize there are “two sides to every board” - but again.. Differences in people… and it’s the brain and bod thing again.

So when do you start?. Some, soon after.. A friend I knew, her son told her after three months of observation “Mom, you better start giving it up.” Expectations? And again, I’ve heard “the six month rule.” We are all unique, all different.

It takes the miracle of having two people having each’s brain and bod in sync, and the wherewithal to know “shit happens.. Don’t wander… work it out.” Unfortunately, a very minority of the relationships out there are so lucky.

I was parked today awaiting my son to get off the bus from downtown. The bus stop is at the local bowling alley. A guy pulled up in front of the bowling alley, stopped, let himself out, his wife got out of the passenger side, they crossed paths going opposite directions - and absolutely no interaction. No touch. No kiss. Minimally something verbal - nope. Nothing. It made me wonder where they’re at intimately in life - and if they have any idea they perhaps take things for granted.

Intimacy is wonderful, scary, can be an end, can be a beginning, can be a “time share”, can be a “temp job.”

Like eggs I guess… easy… over easy.. Scrambled… omelet (encompassing each other.)

We ask all kindsa questions… about family… about job.. About children… about likes… about dislikes…about dreams… about hopes… do we ever reach the point of comfort where we ask “where are you at intimately”? I guess if the guy asks that, it’s assumed if she answers he won’t have ears to anything other than “soon”. If the girl asks it, we men are piggies, and we’ll white lie our way down the zipper line. Trust me. Or don’t.

So. We’re all different. We all enjoy intimacy. We all seem to have a different take on intimacy. Do we ever know if the two “views from the shoes” coincide? And if they do, do we ever know if one day they’ll Imelda Marcos “I want a different pair of shoes”? We don’t.

I guess that’s what makes the “brain and bod” quest so unique. So special. So wrong. So improper. So early. So “I never thought we’d get here.” So “I’m glad u like me but why do you like him/her too?”…

I’ve just written sixteen GD paragraphs on intimacy, and I feel I’m fulla way more questions than when I ever started.

Summarizing. Can u summarize intimacy? I think u can kinda. It’s about brain and bod. Synchronization. Compromise. And luck.

I have no funny ending. Sorry. Intimately yours, Victurd.