Mark, set, go.

Ok biotches (biotches, said with VERY much love)… here it is….

I come to this GD (Gol’ dang) monitor - and I freeze. I sit. I think. Clever. Victor, it’s gotta be clever or get ur ass up. I can’t thinka clever, so I get my ass up. I sit. I think. Victor, it’s gotta by symbolic - make a point. Then I can’t thinka symbolic, can’t think of a point.

So here I is. Rapid fire. Toppa the brain.

Observations from this 5’11” bod……

Life is about choice. I drag my ass into work every day. 99 times outta 100, I wear sunglasses, giving out the “leave me the F alone” look. Then, lady pulls into front spot. She weighs, honest to goodness, 350-400 lbs. It’s labor to walk. So big, she really can’t bend at the joints. You can just tell, each and every step in life is a struggle, comes with "ouches." And ya know what? Her face is always plastered with a smile. You can race her to say “hello” / “good morning”.. but you’ll rarely win. Choices. We have choices.

Holidays. Just had an email from a friend - who recently has lost her mother. Damn do I know that one. “Not looking forward to the Holidays.” And I completely understand. And, quite truthfully, they will never be quite the same.

HOWEVER. Eyes open, observe, smile, enjoy, admire - others that are now in the stage you/I once were - and take pleasure in the fact they’re living what you/I once lived - and how GD (Gol dang) special that is/was.)

Chicken Fat. To those born since Reagan was in office, you’ll have no idea whatinthehell that means. To us old farts - ‘twas a record (45 to be exact) that was played and played and played over and over and over again in PE class - whilst we did pushups (“every morning”) ten times (“not just now and then”)… “give that chicken fat BACK to the chicken, and don’t be chicken again..”

But now… Even though I’m fairly well entrenched in another binge of exercise/spandex watching - I don’t sweat it if I don’t make it to the gym. Eh, if I miss doing the elliptical for 60 minutes this week - who gives a rats… it may take one day offa my life, but whoever liked Thursdays anyways. Besides, I wakeup feeling fabulous nowadays.

Children. Rejoice in children. The last 48 hours I’ve heard some real “s-h-I-t” stories about absent parents. Their loss. I don’t see how one can turn the back. Once a parent, it’s a lifetime kinda thing - no matter how they may get off the path upon occasion. I’ve hearda abandonment at birth - all the way to abandonment at age 22... Uh huh… my ex, her son… he’s 22... Lives in same town… seen him once in two years… Sad, pretty damn sad.

Youth… Immerse yourself… Youth doesn’t know color, power, stature, riches. Youth are the true evaluators of “good people”. I say, smother yourself in youth. By youth, I simply mean someone younger. Oh sure, be nice to old farts your/my age - but form bonds too with young pups. Many today throw digs at the “I want what I want and I want it now” belief of our youth - but it’s my belief - youth today want/need older friends (and enjoy them) now, more than ever.

Squirm. It’s Ok to squirm. Not long ago, I mouthed off about saying that for the very first time I sputtered “I like working with you”… and I did… and she responded in kind. Then, I had a “open mouth, insert foot” moment - where this person made a mistake at work, I verbally said to another basically “it wasn’t me, it was her” and I wish I’da had the fitty-five yr old maturity I should have by now and never ever said it. So I squirm. No, it’s not ok. I shouldn’t have said what I said - but I did - and I must live with it - and with her lessened trust… but… taking the positive - it’s a teacher for tomorrow. I fucked up. There’s no taking back. There’s no “I’m sorry” and we retreat to life as it was in October. What’s done is done. So again, the lesson I take - open mouth - think about what one is about to say before it leaps out. Once out, there's no taking it back - no matter how many "Sorry"s follow.

Idle time. I wish I had more constructive ways to spend idle time - and if you gots ideas, I’m all ears.

You shits you. Have you penned that letter to someone you really admired - and written it as if you’re one foot in the grave? Gotta tell’em now?.. Me neither. But, I do have a list. Short one. But a list. Lord please help me to follow thru before I pee my pants and forget my name.

Called anyone just to say “hey”? You shits you. I haven’t either. Talk a good game don’t I?

Looked around at the timea year and all God has to offer? This one I have. And I marvel every day. Tis wondrous to watch the change.. I worked for years in the airline industry where folks disgustedly were ‘force’ transplanted here. The bitches and the moans you heard the first couplea years - soon were turned into “oooohs” and “aahhhhs” by year three. “This region is a pretty nice secret.” Yes. Yes it is.

Relationships. Victor, you haven’t mentioned relationships. Some things - it just ain’t the right time. And today, the week before Thanksgiving 2007, just ain’t the right time. I know the old sand is going thru the hourglass - tis ok. If I get there, I get there. If I don’t - it’s been a blast.

May you have smiles, orgasms, good thoughts, take pictures with your eyes… when you screw up (like me) - beat yourself up - but… only momentarily - and learn from it… don’t forget to start the day with a smile.. Wing a few at others thru the day…and retire with a smile in the mirror - knowing you’ve given at least a 75% effort to make your own life good.

Love, Victurd.