Tuesday, September 19, 2006

GD it Lorena... QUICK!!!!! PLEASE call Dr. Hu

((Chinese surgeons have performed the world's first penis transplant on a man whose organ was damaged beyond repair in an accident this year. The incident left the man with a 1cm-long stump with which he was unable to urinate or have sexual intercourse. "His quality of life was affected severely," said Dr Weilie Hu, a surgeon at Guangzhou General Hospital.))

Ahm, yes, I would say that might tend to affect one..(or is it effect, I always get those two confused.. in this case, me thinks both would work) .. For you non-metric folks like me, 1 cm = .39 inches. Ouch. I wonder if Mini-me has a sister.
Continuing:

((Doctors spent 15 hours attaching a 10cm penis to the 44-year-old patient after the parents of a brain-dead man half his age agreed to donate their son's organ.))
Again, doing the conversion, this is 3.93 inches.. almost up to the Oriental average [not meant meanly, just got that from some research I'd read during an earlier study.]

((The surgical team claims the operation was a success. After 10 days, tests revealed the organ had a rich blood supply and the man was able to urinate normally.
Doctors have previously succeeded in reuniting men with their sexual organs after traumatic accidents or attacks, but the Guangzhou operation is the first in which a donor penis has successfully been attached to another man.

Although the operation was a surgical success, surgeons said they had to remove the penis two weeks later. "Because of a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife, the transplanted penis regretfully had to be cut off," Dr Hu said. An examination of the organ showed no signs of it being rejected by the body.))

Poor fella. Hell, I've had my pee pee since I was born... and I've had wife rejection problems too.. I kinda know how he feels. And what's wrong with that lady anyways?... She could stay married AND have the grass is greener shit too.
Geez..

Imagine the potential though... We men who are dissatisfied with the size/length/prowess.. I mean.. ahem.. men who are dissatisfied with the size/length/prowess.. could like move to Italy in hopes of getting a nice,long, Italian sausage (or so we've heard they are from you chickies). .or.. mebbe could get put on the list for a nice 'brother' pee pee. Men might cut their own off in hopes of getting a bigger, thicker, longer, better model. Gives a whole new meaning to "tally-whacker."

Heck... I'd sign a donor card... I mean what the hey... why not be in heaven (or hell) and still get tingles.. and still be getting some down (or up) on earth.. Mine might even be desired in Asia.. Hell, it'd be a kick, I've never thought of mine as a Whopper.. hehe.. I would hope the recipient would be kinda picky though... Been there, almost did that "girls all get prettier at closing time" thingy.

Imagine the possibilities though: The people in the recovery room would be known as Chinese Checkers... If you weren't picky about size, girth, length etc, you could go to the Chinese Buffet Penis Transplant Hospital..

They could even capitalize on the Chinese New Year... I mean who wouldn't want a new pecker during the Year of the Dragon... Snake... Horse... Ox... (Me thinks I'd stay away though during the Year of the Rooster.. Rat... Rabbit.. Sheep...)

Imagine the Entreprenuerships: Pekings Peckers... Shang's Hangers... Ginger's Roots... Long Dong's Noodles... Confucius say "have it your way"...Dongs by Rick Shaw... Hop Sing's Dingers... Downtown Square Roots...

Ok.... I guess I'd better go back to work. If you're happy with your own pecker, give it a little pat on the head... If not.. Please call Dr. Hu.
Bayi... Victurd

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am unclear a couple of things...did it get hard? And why did they take the fuckin thing off? I'd think he'd have a bigger psychological problem with not having a penis than having a loaner? Right? I mean, I don't have a penis but every guy I'v ever met is pretty freakin proud of his!!