This morning - as I strolled in for my daily gas station stop for coffee, cigs and salted peanuts - was met by a friend who was fueling her car up for her commute... "Boy... you look wiped out... you're gonna have to stop working so many hours."
I hate when that shit happens. WHY do people meet you and say "wow - you look tired"? Tis even skeerier when one is an old fart like me 'cause them crevices, they don't exactly revert back to 20-something form after 9 hours of sleep like all you young punks. So I thanked her. "Thanks bebbe.. you got my motor revvin' now.. I'm psyched for the day.. .thanks for that "PUMP - YOU UP" moment." Bitch. What I really wanted to say was "GD I'm 53, almost 54... I'm tired... and yes, I had three beers last night.. and oh, btw, what happened to you - crocodile skin?.. couldn't get the tanning bed door unlocked?" Instead I cowered with -"good seein' ya.. have a good day." Wimp, I'ma wimp.
I gotta sign on my wall at work - says "The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." I likes that.
Ohhh of course there's times I'd loveta join the fray... like mebbe "hi, howya doin? Is your wife still doinking that one guy at the office?"... or... "I heard your main man actually took out the trash last week... that warranted a blow job eh?"
Howabout "MAN, I'd hate to have your grocery bill."... Or "can I ask.. do you actually smile on holidays?... during sex?"... Or... "WHAT? No bruises? You're gonna have to tell your man he's slipping some."... And it didn't take 'em long to decide that Earl had to die...
"Hey you... do you bitch in your dreams too?"... "Holy shit, was the power out at your house when you dressed this morning?"...
Or I guess one could use it for compliments too... "Hi there.. I noticed something walking behind you this morning. Ahm.. do you find doggy style enjoyable?".. or, "I heard Ernie is away at a convention.. anything I can help with around the house?".. or "I'm starting a coed naked volleyball league... would you have interest in playing in my first one on one tournament?"
The lady this morning, really she's a nice lady. I guess there was genuine concern there.. Yet there are some dweezels out here in life though that just don't know when to shut up - or better yet, they don't know "what NOT to say."
Life would be interesting if we could/did say the tempting thing - - but I guess we'll have to reserve that shit for a blog or something. I mean, just when I wanted to wing out "would you have a moment I could see your tits - I've oh so admired 'em over the years" she came with that "wiped out" crap. Dammit. I hate when that happens.
I think I'm gonna take a short nap now. Feeling kinda wiped out. May you have fun with the said, and the unsaid word. Next time you see someone a little outta kilter - have fun inside your brain with the tempted word. Oh, and you left your cam on.. Damn. If I were you, I'd hit the snooze button 5 or 6 more times. Love, Victurd.
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