fee fi Mo Mirley... Shirley...
Let's do Martin... Nah, let's not... But let's do play the name game...
Little diddy, about John and Catherine.. two American kids doin' the best they can... Johnie say: "Hey Catherine let's run off behind a shady tree.. Dribble off those Bobby Brooks let me do what I please."
And if Catherine did... and they betrothed, she'd be Catherine Zeta Jones Cougar Mellencamp...
If Buddy Hackett awakened to being gay.. and he fell in love with Tim... He'd be called Buddy Bottoms... If they broke up and he fell for Earl (former Secretary of Agriculture) he'd become Buddy Butz... and if they had a falling out, and he hooked up with Albert Pujols (of baseball fame).. well, he'd be... (and if you don't know how to pronounce Albert's name, consider yourself lucky).... And YES, I know talkback, I've had a few beers, sorry.... If Buddy married Ned Beatty.. eh, nevermind...
If Pee Wee Herman and Michelle Wie hooked up, she'd be Pee Wee's Wie... which I don't think was the liquid they found in the movie house lobby that night.. If those lion/tiger magic guys bring their act back, I hear it's gonna be called Siegfried and Toy.
If Patti Page went for the bucks and married Ted, she'd be Patti Page Turner... If Paris Hilton married Dennis Franz, you think she'd move there? If Halle Berry married former KC Royal manager Tony, she'd be Halle Pena...
If Ali McGraw wedded Muhammad, she'd be Ali Ali... If there was no charge to attend their nuptials, it'd be Ali Ali in free...
If Zsa Zsa was smitten over Butros, she'd become Zsa Zsa Butros Butros Gabor Ghali...
If Paula married Kareem, and she wouldn't stop talking, she'd be Paula Abdul Abdul Jabar Jabber...
If Tyne Daly went after Ben's money, she'd be Tyne Stein.... If Bo Derek married the athlete, she'd be Bo Jackson... If Pee Wee married Pia Zadora... no, that ain't it either...
If Dolly married Bono, would she be Parton U2? If she married Lester Flatt would it ruin her "schtick" and she'd have to work 9 to 5? If she married Max Baer would she sell more tickets? If Demi betrothed George, would she be Demi Strait? If Buddy Hackett married Joan Hackett.. .eh, never mind...
If Julie Hagerty married Dan Hagerty, would their kid's last name be Adams? If Patti married the Duke of Earl and they hada offspring, would he be the Duke-Duke-Duke, Duke of Earl? If Chelsea Clinton had a baby brother, would you willingly accept a cigar from proud papa?
If Sandy married Gregory, would they serve their own cake at the wedding? (Duncan Hines)... If Nell Campbell married Archie Bell and the Drells from Houston, Texas we don't only sing but we dance just as good as we walk - would she be Nelly Bell?
If Ricky Lake married River Phoenix, would it flood Scottsdale?
If Kathy Bates married Alan Bates, where would Norman live? If Glen Close married the shaving cream magnate, would she become Glen Close Burma Shave? If Ms. Babilonia married Don, would she be Tai Knotts?
If Janet Reno married Jean Reno, then we'd all have been wrong. Is it legal to be named Peter Sellers? If Aubrey Dollar married the rapper Curtis Jackson, would she be Aubrey Dollar 50 cent?
(Victurd, go to bed)... Yes talkback, for once, I think you're right...
Arnold arnold bo Barnold, banana fanna fo Farnold... Love, Victurd
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