Thanks for stopping by. I really haven't felt like being here (this keyboard, this blog.) This, this is the third consecutive year of heartbreak. It's been established, I'm not a very good golfer. Recently, I've played the best two rounds of my life. It caused smile, and feel good.
Then I got home and watched the news. The horror of war. Since 2020, people getting sick, dying, hibernating, depressed, mad, on this side of the line or that side of the line - fangs exposed like two dogs passionately prepared to fight. War breaks out and hopefully it causes us a little shame for our actions. (I don't speak of all, but I admit to walking that line a time or two.) How can happy be with all that is going on in our Country, in the World?
I found an article where a clinical psychologist noted that about a third of his clients expressed guilt for feeling good what with the pandemic and all. "The 'staying home' has allowed many to spend more time with their families but they share those joyful moments in a hushed tone that says 'I would only share this with my therapist.' "
The theme of the article was certainly to not feel guilt. One lady, who'd lost her husband to cancer, related "You see in those experiences just how necessary it is to find those moments of joy and laughter. Joy is the only way to honor the lives we've lost."
It is suggested in times like that (starting to feel guilt for being happy) to turn outward and think of other people. Again, I ain't preaching, only trying to help me, if others are helped, so be it. Not my words, words of wiser folks I'm stealing from. Or, borrowing I guess would be a better term.
The article was written a couple of years ago, but they had this foresight to write about sharing your joy, but to do so wisely, especially in thought to '"What else is going on around the world." So, i guess never have guilt for being happy, but we should use discretion in how shared. For example, if you just rang the bell in riddance of cancer, absolutely share - people want (and need) to hear news like that.
Below is an article, verbatim, from Reddit. The idea behind, when things are going our way, why not spend a few extra minutes or dollars lifting up the less fortunate people who cross our paths. IT has some pretty rank language, apologies, but I didn't change it for effect only. The article:
"Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?
Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some shit happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.
This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people's cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.
Anyway, each of these times this shit happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn't loan them out "for my safety" but I could buy a really shitty 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say shit like "this country is going to hell in a handbasket."
But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.
He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn't careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. Fuck.
No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand but he wouldn't take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best fucking tamale I have ever had.
So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow...
But we aren't done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My fucking $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won't take it. All I can think to say is "Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor" with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."
Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best fucking tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn't deal.
In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."
tl;dr: long rambling story about how the kindness of strangers, particularly folks from south of the border, forced me to be more helpful on the road and in life in general. I am sure it won't be as meaningful to anyone else but it was seriously the highlight of my 2010.
**edit: To the OP, sorry to jack your thread, this has nothing to do with Hitch Hiking. I sort of thought I could just get this off my chest, enjoy the catharsis and watch the story languish at the bottom of the page. Glad people like hearing the tale and I hope it moves you to be more helpful in your day to day. **
(This story reminded me of a time, 2011, major snowstorm in KC. I got stuck TWICE going home. First time, paid someone $9 (all I had in my billfold) to help me out. Second time, two Hispanic men, driving around for the expressed purpose of simply helping others. After they got me out, I dug in my front pocket and found a one and a five, offered it to them, "Oh no Senor', but thank you.")
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