But for real, I can't sing.
BB tells us the thrill is gone. Is there much sadder?
The Tremeloes offer silence is golden. Oh contrare.
In decades past, when wanting to learn do-it-yourself, self help, how to do virtually anything, it was a trip to the library and the scary (to me anyways) Dewey Decimal System. Besides not knowing "where to begin" to seek, there was the timidity of being afraid to ask for help. That's all fancy, for me anyways, of having lost a book, been late turning in a book, owing, not being able to checkout anything. Librarians will hate me, but please know, I know, there are 'forgiveness days'...plenty of help available to find what you need, by exceedingly nice librarians, etc. The point though:
Today, there is so, so much at our fingertips.
Depression sucks big time. It comes in all sizes, kinds, types, ages, colors, and it is VERY OFTEN camouflaged by perceived happiness.
All along, an underlying quest of this blog is self help, me, selfish mebbe, don't care. Addressing depression, I should probably keep my mouth closed as it's as if I'm a non swimmer attempting to help those in the deep end. I suppose that's true, but, I would like to parlay things I've read that can hopefully help you (OR me.)
If you personally believe you might be depressed. OF COURSE, discussing with your physician is the optimum choice.
Webmd.com speaks to some ideas to hopefully help RIGHT NOW.
Get in a routine. Depression can strip structure from our lives, thus, a gentle daily schedule can help us get back on track.
Set goals. Depression can 'talk to us' and tell us we can't accomplish anything. So, it's suggested to start with something simple, easily attained - such as doing the dishes daily. When I read this suggestion, I half-laughed, as it's one of many of life's 'Been there, done (or haven't) done that.' I've SEEN dishes build up in the sink. The higher the stack, the more the worry. Can't. Gotta. Gotta attack 'em.
Exercise. Exercise temporarily boosts the feel-good chemicals called endorphins. We don't need to prepare is if we're to run a marathon, simply walking a few times a week is a good start.
Eat healthy. This one is personally tough for me. There is no magic diet that fixes depression, but if we tend to overeat, getting in control of one's eating would make us feel better.
Get enough sleep. Bingo, hard for me too. Why are things that should be easy seemingly so difficult? WebMD tells us to try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Try not to nap (also hard for me) and remove as many distractions as possible, ie, the computer, the TV.
Take on responsibilities. Depression can lead us to a cubby hole where we think we need to be, but in reality, we need to have daily responsibilities -they can ground us, and give us a sense of accomplishment. If not up for full-time school or work, consider part-time. and if that feels like too much, maybe volunteer somewhere.
Challenge negative thoughts. Oh baby are they talking to me. Negative thoughts can make us jump to the worst possible conclusions. Next time we feel like 'no one likes us', use logic, is there real evidence of that? We might feel like the most worthless person on the planet, but is that really likely? WebMD suggests it takes time, but those negative thoughts can be beaten back.
Check with your Doctor before starting supplements. There is promising evidence for certain supplements,but always check with your Doctor, especially if you're already on medication.
Do something new. WebMD suggests "go to a museum. Pick up a used book and read it on a park bench. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Take a language class." "When we challenge ourselves to do something different, there are chemical changes in the brain," Cook says. "Trying something new alters the levels of [the brain chemical] dopamine, which is associated with pleasure, enjoyment, and learning." I shoulda introduced Cook, but I'm lazy, ain't gonna! Anyways, hope you get the drift! If you're like me, you might find yourself mid-comversation with friends about a topic you know absolutely zilch about -follow up later, read up on it!
Try to have fun. OK, I've self deprecated in this blog all along the watchtower (Jimmy might say, see Jimmy, toldya you'd git ur damn turn)..so now I'm gonna boast. Sorry, kinda. I LOVE TO TRY TO HAVE FUN. Be it 'real life' with friends, maybe sitting behind the keyboard, could even be in my easy chair wearing out remote buttons until I find a channel for fun. I loves me some fun. Yes, times (depression) I get away from that - but fun looms large (for me anyways) in combating depression.
Avoid alcohol and other drugs. VICTOR? BE HONEST! OK, I will. The other drugs you ain't gotta worry about. I DO like my beer. Baby steps. I ain't perfect, but I think the days of more than 2-3 beers are past. Close your ears. I've been there with a full fridge of beer, Pavlov'ing my way back each/every time after 'the last sip', and, the purpose, without really understanding the purpose, was to get numb. That's depression. WebMD relates "It’s unclear if drinking and using drugs causes depression. But long-term drug use could change the way your brain works and worsen or lead to mental health problems."
I copied so damn much of that article, I apologize. I fear though, had I simply posted the link, a hand might be forced and then, not read.
What led me to this today, of course, admitting I've been depressed before, but damn daddy, there have been so, so many horrific events, not only in our Nation, but in our City, our neighborhood, perhaps our own street, and certainly within our own families and groups of friends.
I think it's real important we attempt to leave any encounter with another human on a good note. Yes, kindness, humor, compliment, even GOOD listening. I know I feel good when others make me feel good. And, conversely, if I can make another person feel good, it makes ME feel good. The thrill ain't gone BB. I still suck at singing, but the thrill ain't gone.
Another article (I'll be brief and get out of your hair, a promise)..that is, to those of you that still have hair... When communicating with a friend or loved one who is obviously depressed:
Demonstrate respect. Be patient. Stay calm. Use active listening (listen attentively, repeat back what you heard, avoid being judgmental.)
Woody will appear in a second. That L word. Don't fear plastering it all about the world. Lord knows we all could use it. Last night, I attended the funeral of a friend I loved, Thank God, ten days ago there was a shared hug, shared "I love you"s. You just never know. (Sure, a silent prayer would be wonderful, but you don't need to make mention or comment here. This person was loved by so many, but is very definitely in a better place.)
OK Woody, you're on: That's all folks.
By Henry Gibson Forward by R.P. McMurphy
Love, Victurd
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