I wish I woulda........

We all, I think, ask ourselves somewhere along this avenue of life, if I had it to do over, would I?  And if so, how so differently?

You hear, but I truly think it's the minority, "nope, I'm content just the way things have turned out" and I hope, for you, that's the case.

I see nothing wrong though, in asking that question.  The answers , the possibilities, surely would vary:

I woulda moved somewhere warm.  I woulda saved more from the getgo.  I wouldya had kids sooner (later)..

I woulda bought a ranch house before this damned arthritis kicked in.  I wouldnta spent every Saturday cleaning up the lake house, and every Sunday mowing the yard of the lake house.

I wish I woulda gotten a lake house.

I shoulda listened more in school.  I wish I woulda learned to play an instrument.  I spent too much time sports. I wish I woulda devoted my entire career to sports.  I always wanted to be a ________, I wish I could go back and try to do that.

Yes, sure, all of the above, good, valid questions.  

As I was taking the 3 hour drive home from a Visitation yesterday, I discovered what I really wish I woulda...

I wish I woulda asked my parents more questions.  I don't feel sorrow for me as I KNOW there are many worse off - but, being the lone survivor of a nuclear family, there's an emptiness.   Not hopelessness, but, paddling thru it all with no GPS (great parental suggestion.) is a challenge without choice. Please don't get me wrong, I couldn't have handpicked a better family to grow up in, they just all checked out too soon.

I'm biased as all get out. I was lucky.  My folks never forced opinion upon me.  They didn't throw me in the deep end and say "Swim", but had I wanted to learn how, they woulda asked "would you like to take a lesson?"

Politics.  Religion. Marriage.  What's important in life, and why do you feel that way?  Who do you learn your good judgment from?  Tell me more about them.  Would you have done anything differently, and if so, what, and how so? Regrets?  Great moments of "I'm thankful I did that?"

What about humility?  Humanity?  Immigration?  How would you feel if you were riding on a train, plane, seated next to someone who doesn't speak English? How would you make them comfortable? And, what would make you comfortable?

Can you give me a list, not necessarily in any specific order, but let's say ten things of great importance to you?  I know I wasn't a hellion, but, I wasn't perfect either, why didn't you spank me or punish me harder?  How did you reach the conclusion you wanted to allow me to think for myself?

What is love to you?  What is hate to you, and should we, as people, hate?  Anywhere else you wished you'd lived?  Places you wish  you woulda traveled to?

Tell me more about you, stuff you've never shared before.  What was it like for you growing up?  How is our World different?  What opportunities do we have today you wish you'da had back then?

If you still have your folks, you're blessed.  I feel blessed, and I'm certain the very large majority of you feel blessed - in growing up where you grew up, and who occupied your house with you as a child.  As a teenager.  A young adult.  An adult.  I live by myself now, I HAVE to like me!  HA.

Just a thought.  No. I don't think I would go back and do the Marty McFly allover - but if I were thirtysomething (HINT HINT HINT) I'd seriously sit right down and make a list, a long list, of questions to ask my folks. Before you can't.

When I grow up, I wanna be just like my parents.

Love, Victurd