Don't mind if I do.. I'm old.
One of our earliest recollections is the old Sit N Spin toy. A big circle ya sat on, a round table you tugged on, andya went round and round and round. Ya still can't cipher English yet, too young to get mad when, after you get up, you walk in twelve different dizzy directions and fall down to the laughter and taunts of old people.
Victor. Yes? You were 22 when the Sit N Spin was invented. Oh, sorry. Well, I made sooo many errors back then, I probably woulda been better off had it been invented earlier and I'd spent more time there rather than the goofy things I did do back then.
Gravity. I'm always amazed by gravity. You stand with a funnel on one side of the Equator. You take your finger off the hole, the water runs out and circles clockwise as it does. THEN, ya jump on the other side of the Equator line, and uh huh, take your finger off, it goes out COUNTERclockwise. Weird eh?'
One of life's first lessons in gravity combined with sitting is, aka, the teeter totter. I was skinny, redheaded and freckle-faced. If that wasn't enough to be fodder to bullies, the teeter totter certainly was. Oft times, I'd find myself high in the air, at the mercy of some smiley, making fun of me, fat slob sitting on the ground looking up at me with laughter, almost like he was taking a selfie before selfies were invented. Sorry about the fat slob part, but not too sorry, as soon, after they'd had their fill of laughter, they would slide off, causing me to crash, burn, rearrange freckles, bust my tailbone, and much to their delight, and to the delight of others in my class that were skinny, "thank goodness it was Victor, not me."
Fast forward to aging, my father, circa late 1990-something. Victor? Yes? This is the fourth time you've told this story. I don't give a rats, it's funny (I think)..I'm telling it again. My father, at age late 70-something, sat a lot more as he aged He developed Parkinsons, but never lost his sense of humor. His ability to stand, once seated, was challenged, thus, we bought him one of those fancy electronic 'lift chairs.' Even came with a sale's rep in home demo. After the sales rep unboxed it, put it in dad's desired place with a birdseye view of the TV, he demonstrated it, then had dad try it. This took awhile. He also pointed out all the features... and as it looked like it was finally time for him to vaminoose, he said "OH, and it comes with a massage'r." "DOES SHE SPEND THE NIGHT?" dad offered in a millisecond.
Back to gravity. As we age, we gravitate to sitting more and more and more. Those, those with Medical Degrees and fitty years younger will tell us "Physical inactivity top the list of things that can age you." Duh. We'd always heard from those older, "once you retire, if you don't move you die."
OK. Now, those kind folks fitty years younger offer statistics. Like, "Every single hour of TV watched after the age of 25 reduces life expectancy by an average of 21.8 Minutes." Well ya whippersnapper, I'm here to tellya I STILL woulda watched s'more after Mahomes, Hill, Kelce, Butker fetched us a field goal to send it into overtime the other day. I ain't so sure about all that time I spent watching Breaking Bad, especially the crappy ending. It's OK, but don't call Saul and tell him I never watched the follow up show. Thinka all them extra minutes my life gained not watching that.
Care givers, and those fitty something years younger will tell us "the act of getting out of a chair, called sit-to-stand (STS) transition is a basic component of mobility that, when done more frequently, can improve a senior's muscle strength and minimize activity limitations."
Victor? Yes? I didn't know you were Catholic. I ain't. I don't get it, you're here by yourself, WHY? I'm working out. Huh? Yep. Went to a Catholic funeral a few years back, by the time it was over, after we'd done all them "STS's" I was plain worn out. So, whippersnappers say I needs more STS's, so I'm here, and I don't hear no cusswords like I do at the gym.
"Tai chi and waltzing are great." Gesundheit, and what kinda dancing?
This is messed up. A blog on sitting. At least he won't bore us with tunes about sitting. Victor, sit on it. Well Fonzy-breath, howabout Sit Down Young Stranger, Sit Down -You're Rocking The Boat, Sit Down - I Think I Love You, Sittin On The Dock Of The Bay, I'm Gonna Sit Right Down And Write Myself A Letter.
"Buy some DVD's...I like Zumba.. Mom works out in the yard watering and pulling weeds... Spend at least 15 minutes of the day in the sun and fresh air when possible..take a walk around the neighborhood... A stationary bike can help keep arthritic knees loose, which also prevents "shuffling" of feet that can make a senior trip while walking." Seniors? Shuffling? GREAT IDEA, I'm gonna sit down and watch old Carol Burnett reruns, Tim Conway is a hoot when he plays an old man and shuffles.. THEN, I'll turn it to an old Rowan and Martin rerun, watch the old man Arte Johnson plays, smack his cane and try to seduce Ruth Buzzi on the park bench! OK, but remember, you're taking 21.8 minutes off of your life.
Well Mr. Whippersnapper, I can look up studies too! I found one that said "high scores on humor's cognitive component were associated with 48 percent less risk of death from all causes!" So, sit a spell and watch wit' me!
I jest, or at least try - but think of how special sitting is in one's life? Education as a child. Seated on the floor as a child, amongst your folks and their friends discussing life. Lotta good memories. Sports, a kajillion hours spent on the bench between innings, non playing time, football offense-defense, coaching.. Choosing to sit with a friend, a loved one.. a group of friends. Sure it's sedentary, butt it's also heavenly.
The easy chair in the man cave. The park bench. The upper deck at the stadium. Church, yes, church. The family dinner, what better. All the damn hours seated in a cubicle (me anyways)... Driving. Riding.
Sitting is a necessitated part of life. A wonderful part of life. Sorry if this has been El Boro.. I know I know, I should take a few days off rather than force a blog.
Oh, I see my grandson over there. I'm gonna go sit by him for awhile. Yum.
By Henry Gibson Forward by Sitting Bull
Love, Victurd
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