Oh Well, part 2

Like anything, we all are biased.  Different likes for different folks. My mother, after a massive stroke (left side) at age 57, learning of the differences 'left side' - 'right side' strokes - proclamed "Different strokes for different folks."

Where was I? Oh yeah, bias.  The song at the bottom (Oh Well, Part 2 by Fleetwood Mac) relaxes me to all get out... I hope you enjoy as well.

After a second successive week of KC Chief following, nailbiting, heartrate fluctuations, extreme happiness ending (Best. Game. Ever.) followed by "the hell happened?" - Humpty Dumpty...  Oh Well.  Life goes on (The Good Lord willing)..  Happy can, does happen.   Oh well... much more apropo than Roy Orbison's It's Over.

Researchers at the University of Cambridge have found breast milk cells, once thought to be dead or dying, are very much alive and they very well could help scientists discover breakthrough treatments for breast cancer.

385,000 bright, vibrant babies will enter our world today with no conception of "shoulda kicked a field goal at the enda the half", or, "Danger, Will Robinson.. whey did he try to pass to Robinson in overtime, twice??"

A lady in Brighton, England purchased a chair at a nearby junk shop for FIVE DOLLARS, had it appraised. Turns out, it was designed by Kolomon Moser, an Austrian artist in 1902. Moser taught at the Vienna School of Arts.  The lady sold the chair at auction for in excess of $16,000. You no fretty your $982 Mastercard Ticketmaster bill for two tickets and a parking pass yesterday, shop local (thrift store).

Could be worse.  A few years back, with his beloved Steelers down 28-0 before they ever scored a point, dude walked into another room, grabbed a ladder, smashed his bigscreen to smithereens. Oh well. Good does happen, annually, the best time to catch a sale for a Big Screen is the week leading up to the Super Bowl.

Perhaps it took you two and a half hours to depart Arrowhead after the game, and worse, you were stuck having to listen to analysts on radio dissect 'what went wrong' allover again. Would it help to know, the Slovakian Transport Authority just presented an airworthiness certificate to inventor Professor Stefan Klein for The Worlds First (proven) Flying Car?  Hells to the yes, Arrowhead to Liberty in TWO MINUTES! Oh well, good DOES happen.

Oh howabout Nick?  Do you suppose Nick went to the game? Fifty-four year old Carl Stanojevic received a text message from his neighbor Nick "Will you take my trash bin out?" Wow did he, and he recorded it all on camera.  First, he took the trash bin to the beach...then to the surf club.. then to the hardware store for errands.. then to a restaurant.. to a massage parlor (mind you, Carl is happily snapping pics along the way of 'taking the bin out').. then to the tattoo parlor where the bin got a couple of extra 6's on it, then, stopped at a pub for a coldie.. several garbage men and women, seeing this, stopped to take pics...and before finally returning to Nick's place, they stopped, made a phone call to "trash talk."  Feel sorry for KC's 2nd half time of possession yielding a measly 3 points?  Think of all the things Nick's bin got to do meanwhile!

No Soup.  No End Zone for you!  The 2nd half, nary a foot landed in the end zone for a touchdown. No Tyreek, no Travis, no Mecole, no Patrick, heck, even no Allegretti.   No fret for you.  It was 97 year old Brazilian Marcelea's birthday... for decades she has been unable to set foot in the ocean, and it was her one request for her Birthday. Thanks to the Beach Access Project, and her daughters, Marcelea had a special plastic wheeled chair designed, and boom, it happened, a dip in the ocean blue.  If only Mitch were there to holler "TOUCH DOWN MARCELEA!"

The vast majority of folks blazened in Chief's attire returned to home last night to be met by tail-wagging, always in a good mood, no idea who Andy Reid is Fido.  Happy to report, in the US yesterday, 87,912 hounds were adopted, got to go to their forever home to be met by their good mood, loving Dick and Jane and Timmy and Tina's.

Twenty-six years ago, Jacksonville Jaguar fans took the same depressing trek from the AFC Championship Game (losers to the Patriots) that many a red-clad Chief's fan did yesterday.  Twenty-six years ago, 8 year old Joanna Buchan launched a message in a bottle for a school project in Scotland.  She addressed the letter to the "discoverer," and talked about her love of sweets, the book Charlotte's Web, her dog, and her family's "rather big house." She ended the note by saying, "By the way, I hate boys." (Familiar yesterday Chief's fans?)   Uh huh, 26 years later, Elana Haga and her son Eliah found the bottle as it washed up on the beach in Norway, some 800 miles away.  Elana and Eliah tracked Joanna down on Facebook.  "Now 34 and a doctor living in Australia, Buchan told BBC Scotland she was shocked to find Haga's "absolute gem" of a message. She got a kick out of her 26-year-old letter, saying that when she first read it, "I just died laughing. There's some really lovely lines in there, like what was important to me at the time."  So see?  26 years from now whothehell will remember not getting the field goal at the enda the half that woulda put us in the Super Bowl?  Certainly not me, I'll be in an urn somewhere (I hope better for you.)

Point being.. well, a few points anyways - Good does happen.  Some days No Soup For You, some days, mom makes a yummy ole bowl of chicken noodle soup from scratch.

Oh Well.. relax.. life is good, relaxing song at bottom, can copy/paste if ya wanna.  Happy(er) day......

By Henry Stram Gibson.......... Forward by Peter Green, Fleetwood Mac

Love, Victurd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRFvsLlC_ZM

I wish I woulda........

We all, I think, ask ourselves somewhere along this avenue of life, if I had it to do over, would I?  And if so, how so differently?

You hear, but I truly think it's the minority, "nope, I'm content just the way things have turned out" and I hope, for you, that's the case.

I see nothing wrong though, in asking that question.  The answers , the possibilities, surely would vary:

I woulda moved somewhere warm.  I woulda saved more from the getgo.  I wouldya had kids sooner (later)..

I woulda bought a ranch house before this damned arthritis kicked in.  I wouldnta spent every Saturday cleaning up the lake house, and every Sunday mowing the yard of the lake house.

I wish I woulda gotten a lake house.

I shoulda listened more in school.  I wish I woulda learned to play an instrument.  I spent too much time sports. I wish I woulda devoted my entire career to sports.  I always wanted to be a ________, I wish I could go back and try to do that.

Yes, sure, all of the above, good, valid questions.  

As I was taking the 3 hour drive home from a Visitation yesterday, I discovered what I really wish I woulda...

I wish I woulda asked my parents more questions.  I don't feel sorrow for me as I KNOW there are many worse off - but, being the lone survivor of a nuclear family, there's an emptiness.   Not hopelessness, but, paddling thru it all with no GPS (great parental suggestion.) is a challenge without choice. Please don't get me wrong, I couldn't have handpicked a better family to grow up in, they just all checked out too soon.

I'm biased as all get out. I was lucky.  My folks never forced opinion upon me.  They didn't throw me in the deep end and say "Swim", but had I wanted to learn how, they woulda asked "would you like to take a lesson?"

Politics.  Religion. Marriage.  What's important in life, and why do you feel that way?  Who do you learn your good judgment from?  Tell me more about them.  Would you have done anything differently, and if so, what, and how so? Regrets?  Great moments of "I'm thankful I did that?"

What about humility?  Humanity?  Immigration?  How would you feel if you were riding on a train, plane, seated next to someone who doesn't speak English? How would you make them comfortable? And, what would make you comfortable?

Can you give me a list, not necessarily in any specific order, but let's say ten things of great importance to you?  I know I wasn't a hellion, but, I wasn't perfect either, why didn't you spank me or punish me harder?  How did you reach the conclusion you wanted to allow me to think for myself?

What is love to you?  What is hate to you, and should we, as people, hate?  Anywhere else you wished you'd lived?  Places you wish  you woulda traveled to?

Tell me more about you, stuff you've never shared before.  What was it like for you growing up?  How is our World different?  What opportunities do we have today you wish you'da had back then?

If you still have your folks, you're blessed.  I feel blessed, and I'm certain the very large majority of you feel blessed - in growing up where you grew up, and who occupied your house with you as a child.  As a teenager.  A young adult.  An adult.  I live by myself now, I HAVE to like me!  HA.

Just a thought.  No. I don't think I would go back and do the Marty McFly allover - but if I were thirtysomething (HINT HINT HINT) I'd seriously sit right down and make a list, a long list, of questions to ask my folks. Before you can't.

When I grow up, I wanna be just like my parents.

Love, Victurd

Hello lampost, what'cha knowin'....

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my.........

Nope. Stop. Wait justa gol durn minute.  We're talking happy.  Doo-ait-n-doo-doo, feeling groovy - Ba da-da da-da da-da, feeling groovy.

When used, groovy, youngsters will look atya like you're prehistoric, as in, far out (there) man.  Don't care, me likes the word groovy.  Sock it to me.

˙˙˙9102 ʎlɹɐǝ ǝɔuıs ǝɔɐld dn pǝssǝɯ 'dn pǝxıɯ ɐ uǝǝq sɐɥ plɹoʍ ǝɥʇ

Yep, you read it right.  Been down so long it looks like up to me, or upside down, or sumpin.

Victor do you mean 'groovy' like that big ole slot car track that was in the basement of Antioch, and kids from allover came and raced their cars? Well no, I mean yes, stuff like that.

Groovy like you're sledding down the Hill from Jewell Hall and you catch someone else's tracks and you go ten times faster?  Well, not exactly, but yes I guess.

Do you mean groovy like when two friends are in a canoe, the rapids are coming, and you follow the V grooves through them and you yell (happily) and scream (funly?)  Well no, I mean, yes..  I guess whatever floats your boat groovy.

I'm talkin' about simple feel goods.  It don't take much. Yain't gotta go thru the ATM to find happy. Smiles are yours for the takin'.

Like what Victor?  Like when the Chief's fans turned a Buffalo negative into a Buffalo positive.  Huh?  Yep... 13 seconds left, Mahomes, Hill, Mahomes, Kelce, Butker, overtime... Buffalo fans were where we've been SO many times over the years.  WE KNOW what that feeling is like, and it ain't groovy.  So, someone in Chief's Kingdom came up with the idea for fans to donate, in $13 increments.  Buffalo's QB lost his grandmother in 2019, so, he started a charity benefiting the Oshei Children's Hospital in Buffalo named in his grandmother's honor. Chief's fans poured donations in.  At last count, it was over $400,000!  It's made National News, but that's not the important part, the important part are the people. Kids from the Hospital drawing thank you cards... Hospital nurses, doctors, administrators offering words of thanks. It has been a literal feel good to follow, groovy, you might say.

Then, the Buffalo fan who wrote a post of glowing thanks to KC for the hospitality, it went viral on Facebook.  Good.  Good = groovy.

The uncle who bought his 38 yr old autistic niece and he tickets, but there weren't seated together.  Some anonymous guy was seated next to her, they treated each other royally, high fived, laughed, enjoyed - no one knew who the guy was - so the uncle searched - thanks to pictures and articles, the helping fan was tracked down - lives Belleville, IL, long time KC fan.. he felt he hadn't done anything special, they BOTH benefited by sitting beside each other, having oodles of fun.  Groovy fun. 

Groovy (or, less commonly, groovie or groovey) is a slang colloquialism popular during the 1950s, '60s and '70s. It is roughly synonymous with words such as "excellent", "fashionable", or "amazing", depending on context.

The word originated a hunnerd years ago in the jazz era.. the way the sound madeya feel.  DJ's related it to the grooves in a record... "about to play a good groove.. a hot groove... a cool groove."

I am not real sure why the French are burdened by cusswords, but, pardon my French anyways, shit stinks. We've had way, way too much of it.  May the sewers of our World be the groove to get it the hell outta here, and to stay out for infinity.

Long ago there was a gal that played basketball on a team I coached.  She was an awesome player, like All State. A natural. Run, pass, dribble, shoot with the best of 'em, ALL while smiling. Her mantra was "Feels good, do it."  Mind outta gutter. She was fun.  Groovy.

That's all. As I've watched all the fun, groovy media things on our City, call me a wimp, I've teared up.  Feeling groovy does that to one.

I got no deeds to do, no promises to keep
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morningtime drop all its petals on me
Life, I love you, all is groovy.

Today, I trek 230 miles for the third visitation I've attended this week.  A reminder to remind ourselves to go, do, say hi, I love you, hug, laugh, cry, to feel groovy - while we still can.

By Henry Gibson       Forward by Andy, Patrick, Tyreek, Travis, Clark, Buffalo, Simon and Garfunkel. Feel good coated, wrapped with Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme, delivered via The 59th Street Bridge.

Love, Victurd

Nothin.........

I don't have a job.  Well, I do, but it's only part-time.  I have a blog. Sometimes it can be a pain in the butt like sitting on a tack. Or, waking up, staring at a gosh darn humongous zit (ie, thinking of an idea for a new blog) and you wonder wheninthehell it will pop.

This morning, I could think of nothing. That's not totally true, I was gonna do one on affliction and entitle it Been Afflict(ed)... So I read (quickly) about Been Affleck... Interesting, to me, his dad was an aspiring playwright who was mostly employed (carpenter, mechanic, bookie, electrician, bartender, janitor. - at Harvard) His father was very diffcult (severe, chronic problem with alcohol.."I recall him drinking all day, every day." There was relief, when Ben was 11, his parents divorced.  His dad's spiral continued, he became homeless. Happy to report, when Ben was 16, his dad entered a rehab facility, continued to live there for 12 years to ensure he stayed sober, and even became an addiction counselor there. So that, about Ben, oh, and.... paragraph too long Victor, start anew... OK...

Back to Ben.  He was good friends with Matt Damon.  Uh huh, since he was 8. Matt was two years older.  They even traveled together to NY for auditions.  Shared a bank account, saved for train, plane tickets.  That's all about Ben.  The point of the blog was to be about people, dealing with affliction, i got sidetracked, the mark on the chalkboard indicates this is the 12,742nd time that's happened whilst attempting a blog.

Whack-a-mole. Tubthumping, Chumbawamba was the next thought... about getting knocked down to get back up again... even read about James Taylor's Fire and Rain song (Depressing, DON'T read the song meaning)... then I thought "nah"..and think somewhere buried in 1,788 blogs is one similar.

Hacksaw.. Hacksaw Ridge.. that'd be a good one..  but nope.. I so respect and honor all that have been in war, whoami to write about it.

Nothing.

Nothing ain't a bad subject I guess. I even scoured the lyrics of "Nothing from Nothing". Man, Billy Preston WROTE somes songs I'm tellin ya (yes, Nothing from Nothing...Will It Go Round In Circles..Don't Let Me Down and Get Back of Beatle's infamy..  Then again, his lyrics in Nothing from Nothing included  "you gotta have something if you wanna be with me."  Nah, me no likey.  I'll stick to just writing about nothing.

What are you doing?  Nothing.

Waddaya want to eat?  Nothing.

Where do you wanna go?  Nowhere.

Victor, what's in your bank account?  Nothing.

EXTREME noise from the children's bedroom.  WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?    nothing.

He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land making all his nowhere plans for nobody.

What'd you do yesterday?  Nothing (fancy for old, Covid, no mon no fun, tired, bored, not innovative, etc)

I love me some crosswords puzzles, but oft times, I can think of nothing that fits, and nothing doesn't fit.

Sometimes, NOTHING is very good.  Sitting on a beach.  A bench, watching kids play. A lazy river ride on a raft, destination nowhere.  The easy chair.  No words said, but a look at/to a loved one.

"There's nothing to eat" doesn't compute for this fat man, as I know good and well in the fridge there's lasagna, sirloin wrapped with bacon, thick, scrumptious pork chops, tapioca and chocolate pudding, extra sharp cheese, and five bags of Chex Mix ontoppa the fridge.  Hey, they were on sale 5 for $5.

What's new in your world?  Nothing.  Oh come on, this is boring.  OK, then, what are you wearing? HA, gotya! 

I think I can remember back that far when wearing nothing was kinda fun.

How'd you golf?  Eh, nothing to write home about.  How was softball?  Oh for six (ie, nothing). Bowling?  Surely you hit a damn pin.

Retirement makes nothing fun. I don't mean that in a bad way.  Doing nothing, planned, is a very good thing.  Doing nothing means no have to's, doing whateverinthehell ya wanna.  If two are retired, I guess you could call that next to nothing. Wearing nothing hopefully at some point.  Mind outta gutter on 'point'.

LISTEN! (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh).. I don't hear ANYTHING!  Exactly the point.  Ain't nuthin' special?

I'd better run, I've got nothing to do.  I wish nothing but good for you.  TWO visitations in two days.  Sucks. Go, do, see, love, hug, handshake, high five, fistbump - before you have nothing.

By Henry Gibson     Forward by Casper, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Christmas Past, PacMan, Moaning Myrtle, Anakin Skywalker, The entire cast of Lost.. and Boo.

Love, Victurd

Down boy.............. SIT...

Don't mind if I do.. I'm old.

One of our earliest recollections is the old Sit N Spin toy.  A big circle ya sat on, a round table you tugged on, andya went round and round and round.  Ya still can't cipher English yet, too young to get mad when, after you get up, you walk in twelve different dizzy directions and fall down to the laughter and taunts of old people.

Victor. Yes?  You were 22 when the Sit N Spin was invented. Oh, sorry.  Well, I made sooo many errors back then, I probably woulda been better off had it been invented earlier and I'd spent more time there rather than the goofy things I did do back then.

Gravity.  I'm always amazed by gravity.  You stand with a funnel on one side of the Equator. You take your finger off the hole, the water runs out and circles clockwise as it does. THEN, ya jump on the other side of the Equator line, and uh huh, take your finger off, it goes out COUNTERclockwise.  Weird eh?'

One of life's first lessons in gravity combined with sitting is, aka, the teeter totter.  I was skinny, redheaded and freckle-faced.  If that wasn't enough to be fodder to bullies, the teeter totter certainly was.  Oft times, I'd find myself high in the air, at the mercy of some smiley, making fun of me, fat slob sitting on the ground looking up at me with laughter, almost like he was taking a selfie before selfies were invented.  Sorry about the fat slob part, but not too sorry, as soon, after they'd had their fill of laughter, they would slide off, causing me to crash, burn, rearrange freckles, bust my tailbone, and much to their delight, and to the delight of others in my class that were skinny, "thank goodness it was Victor, not me."

Fast forward to aging, my father, circa late 1990-something.  Victor?  Yes?  This is the fourth time you've told this story.  I don't give a rats, it's funny (I think)..I'm telling it again.  My father, at age late 70-something, sat a lot more as he aged  He developed Parkinsons, but never lost his sense of humor.  His ability to stand, once seated, was challenged, thus, we bought him one of those fancy electronic 'lift chairs.' Even came with a sale's rep in home demo.  After the sales rep unboxed it, put it in dad's desired place with a birdseye view of the TV, he demonstrated it, then had dad try it. This took awhile.  He also pointed out all the features... and as it looked like it was finally time for him to vaminoose, he said "OH, and it comes with a massage'r." "DOES SHE SPEND THE NIGHT?" dad offered in a millisecond.

Back to gravity.  As we age, we gravitate to sitting more and more and more.  Those, those with Medical Degrees and fitty years younger will tell us "Physical inactivity top the list of things that can age you."  Duh.  We'd always heard from those older, "once you retire, if you don't move you die."

OK. Now, those kind folks fitty years younger offer statistics.  Like, "Every single hour of TV watched after the age of 25 reduces life expectancy by an average of 21.8 Minutes."  Well ya whippersnapper, I'm here to tellya I STILL woulda watched s'more after Mahomes, Hill, Kelce, Butker fetched us a field goal to send it into overtime the other day.  I ain't so sure about all that time I spent watching Breaking Bad, especially the crappy ending.  It's OK, but don't call Saul and tell him I never watched the follow up show.  Thinka all them extra minutes my life gained not watching that.

Care givers, and those fitty something years younger will tell us "the act of getting out of a chair, called sit-to-stand (STS) transition is a basic component of mobility that, when done more frequently, can improve a senior's muscle strength and minimize activity limitations."

Victor?  Yes?  I didn't know you were Catholic.  I ain't.  I don't get it, you're here by yourself, WHY?   I'm working out.  Huh?  Yep.  Went to a Catholic funeral a few years back, by the time it was over, after we'd done all them "STS's" I was plain worn out.  So, whippersnappers say I needs more STS's, so I'm here, and I don't hear no cusswords like I do at the gym.

"Tai chi and waltzing are great."  Gesundheit, and what kinda dancing?

This is messed up. A blog on sitting.  At least he won't bore us with tunes about sitting.  Victor, sit on it. Well Fonzy-breath, howabout Sit Down Young Stranger, Sit Down -You're Rocking The Boat, Sit Down - I Think I Love You, Sittin On The Dock Of The Bay, I'm Gonna Sit Right Down And Write Myself A Letter.

"Buy some DVD's...I like Zumba.. Mom works out in the yard watering and pulling weeds... Spend at least 15 minutes of the day in the sun and fresh air when possible..take a walk around the neighborhood...  A stationary bike can help keep arthritic knees loose, which also prevents "shuffling" of feet that can make a senior trip while walking."  Seniors? Shuffling?  GREAT IDEA, I'm gonna sit down and watch old Carol Burnett reruns, Tim Conway is a hoot when he plays an old man and shuffles..  THEN, I'll turn it to an old Rowan and Martin rerun, watch the old man Arte Johnson plays, smack his cane and try to seduce Ruth Buzzi on the park bench!  OK, but remember, you're taking 21.8 minutes off of your life.

Well Mr. Whippersnapper, I can look up studies too! I found one that said "high scores on humor's cognitive component were associated with 48 percent less risk of death from all causes!"  So, sit a spell and watch wit' me!

I jest, or at least try - but think of how special sitting is in one's life?  Education as a child. Seated on the floor as a child, amongst your folks and their friends discussing life. Lotta good memories. Sports, a kajillion hours spent on the bench between innings, non playing time, football offense-defense, coaching..  Choosing to sit with a friend, a loved one..  a group of friends.  Sure it's sedentary, butt it's also heavenly.

The easy chair in the man cave.  The park bench.  The upper deck at the stadium.  Church, yes, church.  The family dinner, what better.  All the damn hours seated in a cubicle (me anyways)... Driving.  Riding.

Sitting is a necessitated part of life.  A wonderful part of life.  Sorry if this has been El Boro.. I know I know, I should take a few days off rather than force a blog.

Oh, I see my grandson over there.  I'm gonna go sit by him for awhile.   Yum.

By Henry Gibson      Forward by Sitting Bull

Love, Victurd

I'd like to teach the World to sing...

But for real, I can't sing.

BB tells us the thrill is gone. Is there much sadder?

The Tremeloes offer silence is golden.   Oh contrare.

In decades past, when wanting to learn do-it-yourself, self help, how to do virtually anything, it was a trip to the library and the scary (to me anyways) Dewey Decimal System. Besides not knowing "where to begin" to seek, there was the timidity of being afraid to ask for help.  That's all fancy, for me anyways, of having lost a book, been late turning in a book, owing, not being able to checkout anything. Librarians will hate me, but please know, I know, there are 'forgiveness days'...plenty of help available to find what you need, by exceedingly nice librarians, etc.  The point though:

Today, there is so, so much at our fingertips.

Depression sucks big time.  It comes in all sizes, kinds, types, ages, colors, and it is VERY OFTEN camouflaged by perceived happiness.

All along, an underlying quest of this blog is self help, me, selfish mebbe, don't care.  Addressing depression, I should probably keep my mouth closed as it's as if I'm a non swimmer attempting to help those in the deep end.  I suppose that's true, but, I would like to parlay things I've read that can hopefully help you (OR me.)

If you personally believe you might be depressed. OF COURSE, discussing with your physician is the optimum choice.

Webmd.com speaks to some ideas to hopefully help RIGHT NOW.

Get in a routine. Depression can strip structure from our lives, thus, a gentle daily schedule can help us get back on track.

Set goals.  Depression can 'talk to us' and tell us we can't accomplish anything.  So, it's suggested to start with something simple, easily attained - such as doing the dishes daily. When I read this suggestion, I half-laughed, as it's one of many of life's 'Been there, done (or haven't) done that.' I've SEEN dishes build up in the sink.  The higher the stack, the more the worry.  Can't. Gotta.  Gotta attack 'em.

Exercise. Exercise temporarily boosts the feel-good chemicals called endorphins.  We don't need to prepare is if we're to run a marathon, simply walking a few times a week is a good start.

Eat healthy.  This one is personally tough for me. There is no magic diet that fixes depression, but if we tend to overeat, getting in control of one's eating would make us feel better.

Get enough sleep.  Bingo, hard for me too.  Why are things that should be easy seemingly so difficult?  WebMD tells us to try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Try not to nap (also hard for me) and remove as many distractions as possible, ie, the computer, the TV.

Take on responsibilities. Depression can lead us to a cubby hole where we think we need to be, but in reality, we need to have daily responsibilities -they can ground us, and give us a sense of accomplishment.  If not up for full-time school or work, consider part-time. and if that feels like too much, maybe volunteer somewhere.

Challenge negative thoughts. Oh baby are they talking to me.  Negative thoughts can make us jump to the worst possible conclusions. Next time we feel like 'no one likes us', use logic, is there real evidence of that? We might feel like the most worthless person on the planet, but is that really likely?  WebMD suggests it takes time, but those negative thoughts can be beaten back.

Check with your Doctor before starting supplements. There is promising evidence for certain supplements,but always check with your Doctor, especially if you're already on medication.

Do something new.  WebMD suggests "go to a museum. Pick up a used book and read it on a park bench. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Take a language class."  "When we challenge ourselves to do something different, there are chemical changes in the brain," Cook says. "Trying something new alters the levels of [the brain chemical] dopamine, which is associated with pleasure, enjoyment, and learning."  I shoulda introduced Cook, but I'm lazy, ain't gonna! Anyways, hope you get the drift!  If you're like me, you might find yourself mid-comversation with friends about a topic you know absolutely zilch about -follow up later, read up on it!

Try to have fun.  OK, I've self deprecated in this blog all along the watchtower (Jimmy might say, see Jimmy, toldya you'd git ur damn turn)..so now I'm gonna boast.  Sorry, kinda. I LOVE TO TRY TO HAVE FUN. Be it 'real life' with friends, maybe sitting behind the keyboard, could even be in my easy chair wearing out remote buttons until I find a channel for fun.  I loves me some fun. Yes, times (depression) I get away from that - but fun looms large (for me anyways) in combating depression.

Avoid alcohol and other drugs. VICTOR? BE HONEST! OK, I will.  The other drugs you ain't gotta worry about. I DO like my beer.  Baby steps.  I ain't perfect, but I think the days of more than 2-3 beers are past. Close your ears. I've been there with a full fridge of beer, Pavlov'ing my way back each/every time after 'the last sip', and, the purpose, without really understanding the purpose, was to get numb. That's depression.  WebMD relates "It’s unclear if drinking and using drugs causes depression. But long-term drug use could change the way your brain works and worsen or lead to mental health problems."

I copied so damn much of that article, I apologize.  I fear though, had I simply posted the link, a hand might be forced and then, not read.

What led me to this today, of course, admitting I've been depressed before, but damn daddy, there have been so, so many horrific events, not only in our Nation, but in our City, our neighborhood, perhaps our own street, and certainly within our own families and groups of friends.

I think it's real important we attempt to leave any encounter with another human on a good note. Yes, kindness, humor, compliment, even GOOD listening. I know I feel good when others make me feel good.  And, conversely, if I can make another person feel good, it makes ME feel good.  The thrill ain't gone BB.  I still suck at singing, but the thrill ain't gone.

Another article (I'll be brief and get out of your hair, a promise)..that is, to those of you that still have hair... When communicating with a friend or loved one who is obviously depressed:

Demonstrate respect.  Be patient.  Stay calm. Use active listening (listen attentively, repeat back what you heard, avoid being judgmental.)

Woody will appear in a second.  That L word. Don't fear plastering it all about the world. Lord knows we all could use it. Last night, I attended the funeral of a friend I loved,  Thank God, ten days ago there was a shared hug, shared "I love you"s.  You just never know. (Sure, a silent prayer would be wonderful, but you don't need to make mention or comment here.  This person was loved by so many,  but is very definitely in a better place.)

OK Woody, you're on:  That's all folks.

By Henry Gibson       Forward by R.P. McMurphy

Love, Victurd

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza dear Liza.....

Like sands thru the hourglass, holy crap them sumbitches move fast......

Are we there yet daddy are we there?  Sit back Sonny, enjoy the locomotion.  Come baby do the locomotion. Do it holding hands if you got the notion, come on baby do the locomotion.

Or, you can sit back Sonny and just enjoy the view, ya never know.   Well this could be the last time, this could be the last time, maybe the last time, i don't know, oh no, oh no.

Cat, you know, Cat Stevens, well, he grew up in a big ole town.  As a teen he visited Spain, and he sat in a remote, spiritual environment where he had his best ever view of the moon, and the shadow it cast about of him on the water. I'm being followed by a Moonshadow.

One might think the lyrics are sorrowful, or, in mourning.  To the contrary, he would indeed find reason to enjoy his life were he devoid of certain essentials.. "If I ever lose my hands, lose my plow, lose my land (Oh if, I won't have to work no more.)

And if I ever lose my eyes (Oh, if, I won't have to cry no more.... And if I ever lose my legs (Oh, if, I won't have to walk no more.)  And if I ever lose my mouth (Oh, if, I won't have to talk.)  Leapin and hoppin on a moonshadow.

On the first part of the journey, I was lookin at all the life, there were plants and birds and rocks and things... the heat was hot.. but it felt good to be out of the rain..  i was on a horse with no name..  After two days in the desert sun, but skin began to turn red.... after nine days, I let the horse run free 'cause the desert had turned to sea.

Oh the trips of life.  The journeys. The hound pooches with their heads out the window.  How can you ride a horse across the damn desert and not give it a name?  If ya don't eat yur meat, you can't have any pudding.. how can you have any pudding if you don't eat yur meat?  Begs for a song of life about 'do this don't do that, can't you read the sign.'

Then there's that Rascal always talking about 'Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long, if you're going my way, well I wanna drive it all night long.'  WHO AM I to FLATT out offer lyric suggesions, hell, they're millionaires.. I woulda love the lyrics to have said "Life is a high way,  I DID IT MY WAY, I wanna ride it all night long,..."  Uh huh, scroll to that damn sign sign everywhere a sign.

Sittin' on the dock fo the bay ain't a bad way to waste time.  Time is on my side.  Yes Keith Richards, demonstrated, but, we just lost our beloved Betty. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away - now it looks as though they're here to stay. Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be,there's a shadow hanging over me ("See, I toldya" Cat Stevens).. oh yesterday came suddenly.

I would anticipate though, Carly might suggest "And stay right here, cause these are the good old days... these are the good ole days <- repeat three more times like she did in the song.

I ain't heard no fat lady? It ain't over!  I think Jimmy Cliff (WHO?) might agree.. I can see clearly now the rain has gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. Here is the rainbow I've been praying for.  It's gonna be a bright (bight), bright (bright) sunshiny day.

I kinda likes the optimism of Smokey, and what he wrote for David, Eddie, Paul, Otis and Melvin. Who? No, not the Who. They should be known as well as John, Paul, George and Ringo.. I'm talking the Temptations.  "I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day.  And when it's cold outside, I've got the month of May."

Aging, I reckon, gives one that kinda optimism. Yes Nancy, the boots were made for walking, but, I'm gonna sit me down here on the couch for awhile.  Or settee, as you English chaps might call it.

Pink (Floyd, not plain ole Pink) says "Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain, you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today....And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.. no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.....

"And you run, and you run to catch up with the son but it's sinking, racing around to come up behind you again, the sun is the same in a relative way but you're older, shorter of breath and one day closer to death (DON'T SAY THAT FLOYD!).. 

"Home, home again. I like to be here when I can. And when I come home cold and tired, it's good to warm my bones beside the fire."

I would use Dylan's The Times They Are A Changin' but I've never really been able to understand what he says, I'm sure it's good though.  Wonder how many times in life his wife has said "Huh?  What'd you say?" "It's like your words are somehow blowin' in the wind and I can't cipher 'em."

I gotta get up and go, do.  Whilst I can, man. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go....but I'm leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again. Oh babe.. ahm, Well, ok, but first, are you experienced?  (Jimmy, calm down, you ain't in this blog, wait your turn.)  But first, are you vaccinated? We'll need your vax card, a negative Covid test, all the user names, passwords you've had since you were twelve, you have the right to remain silent and the TSA reserves the right to personally frisk you.  Hmmm, well, OK, but I really wanna go to Fort Myers.  Yes, that would be wonderful, but all the flights to Fort Myers are cancelled until further notice due to employee shortages, notice?  If, when that time comes those flights resume, we'll see to it you get TWO bags of peanuts (provided there is no one on board producing a 'peanut dust allergy' certificate, in that case, we reserve the right to substitute pretzels. Do this don't do that can't you read the sign, love Delta (or United, or SW)..

Life, and it's hurdles. The hurdles get higher.  That ain't fair.  We can't jump as high. OK, at all.

Time does slip slide away.  Fun.  We gots to have fun.   You know, saying stuff like "The hell do I need onea them 25 year guaranteed light bulbs for?"  and... "I'll take 43 boxes of those thin mints, you see, I might not get' another chance."

Me and Otis are gonna go sit on the dock now.  Yes, we'll watch our moonshadow.  No horse - Life is a highway now. These are the good ole days for me and Otis.  Why, we might even grab a bucket of worms and do a little fishin' on the dock of the bay.

But Liza... there's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza dear Liza.

Then fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry, then fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

By Henry (I fixed it, not kicked it) Gibson        Forward by Expedia

Love,Victurd

IhadtoincludethissentenceinprotestbecausemyGD(goshdarn)spacebuttonisstickingandI'vehadtogobackfourhunnerdandninetytwotimestoclickitagain.Ithinkit'sacursefromBobDylanformemakinfunnahim.BurmaShave.

Say Buddy, can you spare a tire?

The best laid plans of men and mice.......

Mice? Mice plan? Mice have intentions? Mice plan to get laid? Minnie says "Oh Mickey you're so fine, oh Mickey you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey Mickey, Hey Mickey...."

Rotate those tires, change the oil, "fill 'er up, Ethel please"...  New wiper blades, wiper fluid, check... Tranny fluid, uh huh..  car wash, spic and span, all cleaned out, here, take my dust pan...

"Liberty Tow, can I help you?".... Yessir, you see, I was cruising down I-35, going the speed limit...  ok, five miles over..  car started pullin' to the left, then to the right...I hear this ker-plunk ker-plunk ker-plunk..."

I was on my way to pickup my date... to work... to my ballgame.. to my kids's soccer game.. to church... to the Community College... To my buddy's 40th BD party...  and wouldya believe it?  The car bobbed, then weaved.. then koo koo kah choo'ed..  then, s'more ker-plunk, ker-plunk, ker-plunk.. (enter grinding metal noise here)...

You see, I'd just graduated.. started a new job.. got married.. had a kid... joined the PTA and the YMCA... life was rollin' pretty good... even kinda liked my house and my hood... the savings account.. yep, getting built up.. then, koo koo kah choo, ker-plunk, ker-plunk, ker-plunk...enter grinding metal noise here followed by fingernails on the chalkboard of life.....

The garden was growin, ain't stole no strawberries yet, the maters were changing to red, I hate maters, got friends who love 'em though, avid aters... 

I'd just got a raise... the garden hose started leaking... "Mr.  I'm sorry to say, your foundation is creaking... that'll be (enter some unGodly amount I ain't got here).. "  Holy shit.  Victor, off to church, you can't behave like that.

But it's life.  It's sposedta go like ya thunk... koo koo kah choo, grinding metal noise, ker-plunk, ker-plunk.

Hey Sonny, 2nd grade pictures back, so very cool. WHAT? Middle school already?  I remember the day you started (life.)..  9th grade basketball?  So very cool.  I'll pickup you up after practice, maybe one day you'll dunk.  Koo koo kah choo, gitty up gitty up, nope, ker-plunk, ker-plunk.

Honey?  I talked to Hank, you know, number two in command at our bank.  The IRA's almost kaput, the housing market sank.  Do we owe on our Visa?  I'd like to fill up the tank.  Koo koo kah choo, we're penniless, but not homeless, ker-plunk, ker-plunk."

Might as well have some fun, it's been all of our cravings, c'mon, we're headed to Colorado, stealing from our savings.  The hell are them big fans?  The middle'a Kansas, hey, they make flint molehills outta mountains.. Not a creature was stirring, been miles since we seen an abode..  The hell?  ANOTHER toll road?  Baby hand me Twenty, sorry, all I got is five.  Hi Mister, here's five.  It's six and a quarter to the border sir.. I ain't gots no more, can I continue to drive? Son, move your feet, we gotsa look under the seat.  A quarter, hell yeah.. only a dolla short.  Eh, on you go Mister, we've all had bad luck, even the elf on a shelf.. Carry on to Salina, but no no more, don't bad mouth Bill Self. Thankya kindly sir, RockChalk...Victor, I can't believe you said that, I 'bout fainted, went black. Don't worry Honey, fingers crossed behind my back. 

Graduation, yippee, would you look at you!  Loved watchin as you flipped that tassle, good luck little buddy, life ain't no hassle.  Honey?  He just pulled in the drive.  Can you go ask him "What gives?"..  I did honey, he said "But Mom, this is where I lives."

WHAT?  You say she's preggo?  Hells bells, we just last week threw away the Leggos. I'll panel and carpet the basement, sound insulation - Heaven sent, no babies screamin, that's what I meant.  Say son, can you afford some rent?

Well dad I could, but I was drivin' and the car pulled to the left, then the right, there I hears this koo koo kah choo, some like metal grinding noise, then ker-plunk, ker-plunk.....  Weeeeee doggies, is that chili I smell?  Hey honey, here's my bowl, can you scoop me some with that ladle?  Winter's a comin' and I think the cats in the cradle.. and soon the grandkid too.

Layoffs at the plant, the hell am I gonna do?  I dunno, but as I was driving home, the car went koo koo kah choo.  WHAT? You're preggo again? But baby it's been at least three months since we... oh, never mind, we'll figure a way..

Back to work... ahhhhhhhh.  Say Lou?  Can you fetch me a ride?  I was drivin' the other day and my car went koo koo kah choo. Damned warranty just expired.  One day surely, will I be retired?

Fitty-something now, would you look at those wrinkles?  Bonified old, at night, seven tinkles.  Hey baby, ya wanna have some fun like we did back in the day?  OK you say?  And then I pulled to the left, pulled to the right, hear this koo koo kah choo, then ker-plunk, ker-plunk.  It's ok honey, we'll get you some pills, no worries here, you'll always be my hunk.

Garden hose tape has lasted awhile..  look at them beans, bout ready to sprout.  Been two years since Sonny, his gal and the baby moved out, koo koo kah choo, ker-plunk ker-plunk.

Gonna grab me some logs to throw on the fire..  come sit close baby, 392 days till i retire. Once I do, we'll jump in the truck.. plug in the Eagles, a little Hotel California, maybe some Desparado.. we'll get the hell outta here, maybe back to Colorado.  Honey, please look at my mouth.  We ain't going thataway, instead we'll go South. Right you are, you always are, took me awhile to learn that, but here I am, koo koo kah choo.

Life's gone quick, faster'n I'd thunk, some damn good times between ker-plunk and ker-plunk.

Dallas?  Corpus?  We are so deserving, let's spoil ourself and go all the way to the Gulf.

Weeeeeee doggies gas is high down here.  Don't worry honey, not a drop I will spill.  Excuse me Mister? Battrie's dead, ain't got no jumpers.  Can you gimme a push, over the hill?

You see, my blog is koo koo kah choo, ker-plunk and ker-plunk.  Life's quite a sight, see checkenginelight.

I come here to bitch... to moan.. to gripe.. to groan.. it's my own little space.

But ya know what? In spite of ker-plunk ker-plunk, you'll play hell wiping the smile of life off my face.

By Henry Gibson.  Forward by Chilton's.

Love, Victurd

Have work at fun............. That's sdrawkcassab............

 "You have the right to remain silent.  Anything you say can and will be used against you."

Well, perhaps not many companies will tell you that, but I did hear about a supervisor that sent out an email to everyone in the department "If you can't get the job done, know, I will find someone that can."  I'm very sorry to say "Holy shit", but "HOLY SHIT!"  That kinda reminds me of a 19-fittysomething football coach who held two a day practices, full contact, up to and including game day. Hollering, whistle blowing frequently, laps, running hills (the offender toting someone piggyback up the hill), one, and only one real quick water break.  

Mearth from Earth hatched from Mork. This much we know.  From whatever planet it was he came from, they aged backwards. I suppose, at nearly 70 years old, making suggestions for ways to have 'work at fun' is bassackwards, but if it makes one dent in the life of stringency for a fellow chum, all the better.

Can you have fun and be productive at work? I was a rebel, don't ask me.

Let's talk laughter in general. This one thing I read and will now plagiarize said "Laughter is the best medicine."..... Benefits: It relaxes the whole body.  It decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus, improving your resistance to disease.

Well, yeah... companies ARE into Wellness..  mebbe because they hound (and hound) the HR person to be.  You see, if they promote wellness, it lowers Health Insurance costs.. so mebbe they'll  at least listen to this talk about fun crap at work.

Wonderful, but I wasn't quite done espousing (through plagiarism) the benefits of laughter, fun.  It triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural feel good chemicals..... it protects the heart by improving the function of the blood vessels, thus, increasing blood flow which can help you against a heart attack and cardiovascular problems.

Well, OK, companies might be mostly ears.  I once heard of a company did have one guy have a heart attack after they had him work five consecutive months without a day off. Take that back, they said he got Thanksgiving off, they're not complete assholes.

Laughter burns calories.  Hmmm, wellness, ok, tell me more. It lightens anger's heavy load. (A company may say 'we are PEOPLE PEOPLE here for goodness sakes, WHAT ANGER?')  Oh, I dunno.  Take a peek, I've heard of companies where there are skid marks in the parking lot leading to the exits? ANGER, we have no stinking ANGER here.

How do you suppose we have this fun you speak of?

I thought you'd never ask.   Some quick ideas, encourage recognition. Make eating lunch at your desk off limits.  Start every meeting with a little fun. Let 'em bring their pets to work once every 6 months or so. Before you say "Barks make me barf" please know, this would boost morale, and even decrease absenteeism. Maybe suggest a Happy Hour for those that may be so inclined.  Could go a long way in reducing at work hiccups.  Good music one hour a week? (Not so loud that customer service conversations would be impossible.) Reserve time for feel-good wellness activities (Remember!  Health care costs!)

Have a scavenger hunt.  Spin a wheel for prizes. Devote thirty minutes or so every other Friday for Game-Time (board games, video games, mind games, anything goes as long as employees are having fun. Trivia Time outs..  Get outside.  Karaoke once a quarter. WHAT?  Sure, it's fun, you'll get to know employees better, hey, we all know Karaoke, it will simply allow employees to know "it's ok to not be perfect occasionally."

OK.  I ain't been everywhere like the Johnny Cash song states, but, I've worked at fun, and I've worked at patooey.  Guess which ones had the most productive employees?

Like ole' Warren Buffet says "There comes a time when you ought to start doing what you want.  Take a job that you love.  You will jump out of bed in the morning.  I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don't like because you think it will look good on your resume.  Isn't that like saving up sex for your old age?" WARREN!! I kinda liked that though!

Or mebbe that Steve Jobs on jobs "I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And, whenever the answer have been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something."

I'm not sure I can keep the job I'm at now, you see I might get injured worse than I already have.  Huh?  How so Victor?

Well, you see..  I was behind the counter the other day.. I mentioned something about "Having work at fun"... Well, long ago (long, long ago) I could do a front flip.  i've never been able to, nor tried to do a backflip.  When I said that about 'work at fun', my boss said "I kinda like that."  I wanted to try a backflip. See? I might get hurt.

THEN... then, I volunteered to work Christmas Eve (I ain't married, Christmas Eve is family time, besides, I can use the bucks anyways...) so, imagine my surprise when my boss brought me Turkey dinner with everything (green beens, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, roll, butter, yada).. DANGEROUS.  It gave me a RED MARK because I pinched myself so hard to see if I was dreaming. If I wasn't smiling so much I mighta called OSHA.

Life is fun.  Within reason, work should be too.

By Henry Gibson.  Forward by Maynard G. Crebs

Love, Victurd

Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry...

When I take you out in the surrey
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top....

I should be rich.  Think I told you before.  It was Janis Joplin that said SOMETHING along the line of "Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a Mercedes Benz, my friends all drive HORSES, I must make amends", or, something close.

A hunnerd and twenty-five years ago or so, we was somebody.  Our family.  Largest dadgum buggy maker this sidea Peoria, Illinois. German inventor Karl Benz got the patent in 1886 for the Benz Motorwagon...but it tweren't until 1908 or so that Henry mass produced the Model T that ensured the "too bad, so sad, your "We somebody buggy-building businesss" was passe', so solly, seeya later, a nice try by a nice guy, er, family. Oh well. (Oh well reminds me of one of my favorite songs, Oh Well, but then that's kinda ironic 'cause its like a Cadillac Fleetwood and a Mac truck knocked the holy heck outta our buggy-making-makea-buck family.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, poor.

The above is a way, way too long introduction to a blog about fringe. (Chicks and ducks, fringe on top ya know)...

I love me some fringe.  Mind out of gutter, I mean fringe as in, when you look back on life, what comes to mind first... family... bestest friends..  beloved teachers.. favorite coworkers... the group of people 'in your group' that one feels life cannot continue without those in our mainstream. Fringe don't come to mind first. (I'm still learning this proper English, sorry, bare with me.  Hehe. VICTOR you said NOT that kinda fringe.. I know, sorry. Probably not funny, but an attempt at humor.  (Continuing with the musical muck, Dobie Gray might offer "I'm in with the in crowd.")

The point is, there are so, so many people that enhance our lives, and hopefully that we enhance their lives as well - who aren't our (beg pardon, more musical muck) Everyday People (thank you Sly, and your family of Stone.)

Sports. It takes 9 players to play baseball.  In football, ya got your starters on offense and your starters on defense, but where would ya be without the special teamers that risk life and limb on kickoffs, punts, field goals, yada.  Virtually daily we read about college basketball teams, 'thanks' to Covid, not having ten total players to practice a regular ole regular five on five practice.

It would take FOREVER to get outta the Piggly Wiggly if it were only the checkers, you gots to have those sackers too. What's a restaurant without a server?  Whattaya gonna do?  Look at the menu, run back and tell the cook?  Then, ask her to holler with it's ready? (Come to think of it, maybe I did that in marriage? I ain't seen that cook in forever!)

If you get the inclination in reading this junk, that I think I am SOMEBODY and these folks ain't important and that I'm somewhere up above there, no, huh uh, stop, stymie halt, that ain't the drift AT ALL. (Geez, quoting Jackie DeShannon twice in a week, but, What The World Needs Now... is fringe, sweet fringe. It's the only thing that there AIN'T too little of.)

I've had me some jobs.  Oh baby oh baby, the people.  Sure, my/our best buds, but not all the laughs, fun, work comes from best buds.  We need folks we hardly know, but, to quote the Association, Cherish.

The Gentrys would remind us to Keep On Dancin', don't be afraid to Walk Don't Run and Venture out to make new friends.

We are a people of cluster, sure maybe moreso in our youth, but as we age as well.  High School reunions could be perceived as yuck.  In fact, so many of my beloved friends that hung out in our cluster are gone, no longer on the planet. Reunion time, borrowing from Larry Verne, "Please Mr. C(L)uster, I don't wanna go." And then, I go  And then. I have WONDERFUL visits with folks I really didn't know all that well in school, and vice versa. We each, were on a fringe cluster. Julie Andrews might call it Getting To Know You, getting to know all about you.

Customers, vendors, the gal who is so friendly that sells me my smokes and beer each time I go in.. the smiles ya get (and give) when someone you have no idea who it is, holds the door for you, or vice versa.

Sly, and that Stone family of his, put it pretty succinctly when they sang "All we need is a drummer for people who only need a beat..." more, more fringe.. ok... "I'm gonna add a little guitar, and make it easy to move your feet." Sing it brother! "You might like to hear my organ, I said a ride Sally ride."..."If I could hear the horns blow."..  yum...  "Listen to the voices."  Oh sure, Sweet Baby James Taylor can stand on stage, guitar only and entertain for hours (and I love that.)  Sly brings us some fringe.  Me and Mike say "Yeah baby!"...

High school.  Me and a buddy were fringe friends.  Then we went to college together.  He in a different fraternity. "Hi, how ya doing" fringe friends.  He moved to Arkansas for a long time. (Big River, Arkansas Arkansas, I just love ole' Arkansas.).. He moved back a couple three years ago. A golf group, call it a cluster if you like, two buddies and I, friends, good friends since Mr. Green Jeans fed the rabbit on TV. Arkansas moved back.  Joined our golf cluster.  Proud to say, he and I really good friends now.

People (People Who Need People) are the luckiest people in the world. We're children, needing other children, and yet letting a grown-up pride hide all the need inside, acting more like children, than children. We expand the wrinkles, the waistline, thank GOD we expand our lives in loving, knowing those on the fringe - and again, that subset (fringe) includes us in there too.

Seriously, I look at my friends list on Facebook - so, so many wonderful people I really didn't know back in yesteryear - new bonds built on fun, laughter, tears, duct tape, letters.

So sing, even if ya can't.  Dance, even if it ain't pretty doing so.  Say Hi, even if ya don't know 'em. Smile, feels real good to get it back.

So Slow Down You Move Too Fast.. Look for fun and feel groovy, that's what Art and Paul say anyways. (Simon sez look it up in your GarFunkel and Wagnall).

Whoa! you team, and jist keep a-creepin' at a slow clip clop.
Don't you hurry with the surrey with the fringe on the top!

Fringe buddies make us wanna say Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself, Again.

So... so much for the 'I am somebody' buggy building (with the fringe on top) business.  I said I was poor. Monetarily, sure, prolly still am, but through life, the fringe buddies I've made, and vice versa me once being a fringe player, now friend - make me rich.

By Henry Gibson..  Forward by Oscar, Richard and Sly.

Love, Victurd

For crying out loud.........

I'm all for it.

Man, for centuries, has been told, reminded, even scolded "Big boys don't cry"... "Be a man"... "Man up"... "Momma's boy."

Thus, boys have a tendency to suppress their emotions.. rum away from them... stomp them out.

An article I found in "The Irish Times" shows the view from a teacher's shoes:

“As a teacher,” says Forman, “I’ve often witnessed the wonderful way children respond with genuine feeling and concern for a friend or classmate who is upset and crying. The message that we are not alone in our distress is one of the most powerful ones we can give to each other – it helps us to bond and connect with each other on a deeper level.

“When we send children the message that it is okay to feel sad or upset and to cry, and we soothe and comfort them, we are validating their experiences and feelings. That is the first step towards processing these big feelings, recovering from them and learning how to self-soothe. Healthy emotional self-regulation cannot develop unless children are encouraged to express their emotions openly as a starting point.”

Suppression of feelings can lead to danger, my take, and the article pretty much claims same.  Sure, we should teach our kids to be resilient.

Foreman continued "there is a common misconception that being resilient means being tough or unaffected by strong feelings, which is a very unhealthy response. We need to teach children that being resilient is being able to feel and express our feelings and having the inner strength to cope with them all."

Sorry to copy so much, but I'm the first to admit to, learn from others that are so wise.

Then we grow older. What about crying as we age?  I have a friend who recently was to undergo a very serous operation to eradicate a cancer growth. Number one, this person is always very upbeat, strong anyways, and leading up to the that day, same.  I finally told her, "I so admire you and your positive approach, but have you had a moment where....." and I didn't even need to finish, "OH YEAH, trust me, I've teared up a time or two."  Whew, she's normal.  Also happy to report surgery went well, cancer GONE.  She amazing may not be proper English, but, she amazing!

If ya didn't feel, ya wouldn't cry.  How sad would that be?

Growing up, I never saw my father cry.......... of course, while the school of thought is ever changing, he grew up in the era a man must never show his emotions. And then, he got Parkinsons.  I hate Parkinsons. I don't understand Parkinsons - but if there was an ounce of good to be had, at least it allowed him to cry, express.. Not fun to see, but, semi comforting, i guess, to learn it was in there all along.

I'm a wimp.  Not ashamed of that at all.  I can watch a video online and be moved to tears instantaneously.  Sure, there are sad tears and there are happy tears. My take is each, are a prerequisite to coping with this thing called life.

Sometimes I think I need a lesson or two on resilience, but I'm ok there too. I will no longer do visitation lines. A fraternity brother passed a few years back, I managed to keep it together in the 20 minute wait in line.. by time I got up to his widow, I lost it. I felt horrible. She already felt horrible enough for sure.  Now, I stay in a back pew, sign the book so the family will know I was there and that I absolutely care - but I just can't take that chance again to make one's feelings even sadder. I know I know people understand we're all different that way, it's just me and what I must do into the future.

Happy to report though, I also for sure cry happy tears when moved to do so, and I'm elated I do.

Sorry this probably ain't been fun, but please know this.  Crying, to me, is about feeling.  If we didn't feel, the hell is the use in even being here?

"If you laugh, you think and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day.  You do that seven days a week you're going to have something special."   Jim Valvano

Love, Victurd

The power of love........

BTTF.... ?

That's Back To The Future.......

Early 1980-something.  Ring.. Ring... Ring..  (Did we have cell phones then?  I remember we had a mom and pop delivery business, I had a pager and a bag phone and I thought I WAS SOMEBODY! Ha!)

"Hey Huey, this is Steven Spielberg,... we (Bob Gale, Robert Zemeckis and I) have this movie we're working on, and we'd like for you to write a song for it."  He then explained the movie.. told him "Marty McFly would most certainly think Huey Lewis and The News was the best band, ever."

"I can't do that.. I've never written for a film before. I don't want to write a song called 'Back To The Future."   "You don't have to... you can write any song you want to."

So............. guitarist Chris Hayes wrote the lead progression... Huey strapped on his Sony Walkman, went for a jog, and shazam, The Power of Love was written.

The power of love is a curious thing

Make one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling, that's the power of love

Is there anything more powerful than love? If we think about our own self, it's all consuming. It's butterflies, apprehension, "this scares me", oh baby oh baby oh baby, all wrapped in one.

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream
Make a bad one good, make a wrong one right
Power of love will keep you home at night

Blinders.. exhilaration.. trepidation.. ya go to bed so dadgum excited, "hurry up tomorrow!"...

Don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life
That's the power of love
That's the power of love

So very true. My mother, she a child of the Depression era, usedta say "poor, but didn't know it." Of course I'm biased, my folks were madly in love with each other their entire life.  Life is so blessed - isn't it wonderful to look around at all the people in love? Loved ones, classmates, coworkers, chance meetings of couples.. people watching love, WHAT BETTER?

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it, it might make you mad
But you'll be glad baby when you found
That's the power makes the world go round

SO much of our life, related to love.  Movies, TV, books, songs, preachers, weddings, anniversaries, regular ole regular everyday stuff...  Everywhere you turn, whoop there it is....... love.

Don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life

Yes, if you know me, divorced twice. I have watched friends, people.  Same.  One such thought "life is over" and came perilously close to ending it all.  Happy to report, a rebound. Life, love, for this person, BETTER THAN EVER. That's the power of love.

They say that all in love is fair, yeah but you don't care
But you know what to do when it gets hold of you
And with a little help from above
You'll feel the power of love
You'll feel the power of love

Thank God for the examples of people in love.  It's hard.  It's wonderful.  It's virtually everything. Over the years, watching family photos grow.. and grow.. AND GROW.... all, because of two in love.  Perty dang cool.

Can you feel it, mmm
Don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
You won't feel nothing til you feel
You feel the power, feel the power of love
That's the power, that's the power of love
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Feel the power of love
Feel the power of love

Fun story, to me anyways. (Side note.  Ain't it crazy how someone says "I've got a funny story".  I'm like, "WAIT, you tell it, we'll decide if it's funny!)... in the movie, Marty McFly and his band buddies, participate in a Battle of The Bands... they play an extremely hard rock version of this song..  a judge (played by some guy named Huey Lewis) tells them "Nah, you're just too darned loud."

No, I cannot relate to some of my friends who very blissfully (and deservedly) are celebrating, 40'th, 45th, 50th anniversaries and beyond. (Whatshername, who yes, I loved, and I decided "We'll never make it to 50 years (we each had been married before) so, let's just add 'em all up and we'll celebrate when we reach 50!" (Swing and a miss, but hey, that's baseball.. and love.)  

 

Color me a wimp or a weirdo, I can literally fall in love in a minute. I honestly know that's crazy, but, it's also true.. .. is there a better feel?  Kudos to you who retire aside one another nightly.. awaken to the bedheads, bad breath, more month than money, car trouble, kids, OH KIDS, sickness, family squabbles, work woes, "not tonight honey", AND all the wonderful glory that comes along with it. You build.  You grow.  You deepen. You understand. Your eyes meet and it makes you want to get down on your knees and do it allover again. Kudos. I truly ain't envious, I'm happy for you, elated in fact.

Funny story... DAMNIT VICTOR, you tell it, we'll decide if it's funny.  Ahm, OK.  My sister, whom I loved like crazy, used to tell me I looked like Alfred E. Newman (of Mad Magazine fame.)  That's my sister.  She was fun.  I guess I even looked funnier..  Where was I.. oh yeah.. so, IMAGINE my surprise when I was with a gal, and another couple..  we were headed into a joint (fancy for bar/restaurant) and the other gal said "you know, you kinda look like Huey Lewis...we're gonna walk in here and call you Huey all night to see if anyone thinks we're actually with Huey Lewis."  Of course I thought this was completely nuts, and Alfred E. Newman was certainly more believable, but, I went along with the game and said "OK, but I hope they don't have karaoke."

By Henry Gibson..  Forward by Doctor Emmett Brown

Love (what better?), Victurd

Oh Happy Day.....

Oh why not.....  (Just thinking about hearing the Edwin Hawkins Singers makes me happy.)

What makes you tick? Floats your boat, so to speak...  Do you need an impetus to be happy or do you awaken thataway?

Stealing from an article I found from the Chicago Tribune long ago (as in 1998).. they spoke to a stockbroker lady... there  you go again misogynist Victor, why Stockbroker LADY?  Relax dude(ettes?), it was simply a stockbroker who happened to be a lady.  Anyways...

Her clients were happy when things were good.  Some, however, wanted "every last morsel" and they, in turn, were the least happy.  After an occasion in speaking to one of this ilk, she turned to her 3 year old son who had just pulled out one of his toy trucks, and had imagined an entire (happy) construction site, as in yum, happy to her, and the little boy was. (See?  I coulda said 'little kid', but I said 'little boy!')

Or, as Tommy Jefferson said in 1776 "It is neither wealth no splendor, but tranquility and occupation, which give happiness." John, Paul, George and Ringo said something similar in "Can't buy me love." (Blogger note, why are they listed in that order, JPGR? One answer was 'the order they joined the band.. annuder.. by rank.. and yet another, it was based on who could belch the best, Ringo only ate beans, so he was more of a farter.) (AREN'T you glad you're here to learn that?  I didn't think so either, but, I hope you are HAPPY!)

So what, Chicago writer asked shrinks, are qualities of happy people?

Uno.  They liked themselves.

Dos.  Happy people typically feel in control of their lives (witness the unhappiness of newly incarcerated prisoners, nursing home patients, recently hospitalized alcoholics, yada).

Tres. Happy people are optimistic.

Quatro.  Happy people tend to be a bit extroverted.

So, as Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs so eloquently put it "Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro - Let's not be L 7!"

Some say......."It's all about genetics."  Like, permanent hard wiring for happiness.  Psych guy wrote a smarty pants article stating as much "Trying to be happier is like trying to be taller." (Band camp.. I remember a guy, Liberty School District.. not too tall, a GOAL in life, to be a good basketball player..  he iiterally HUNG from the above door facing by his fingers in effort to be taller.)

They studied identical twins who were raised apart and it bode to be true regarding their genetics, tied to happiness. Another shrink said "Fitty percent genetics, the other half modifiable within limits." Which reminds me, from my online dating days, twas a shrink, NICE, very pretty lady.. but I'd heard "Psychologists are the LEAST happy people as they deal with doom and gloom daily" so I decided "Nah, not for me."  That turned out to be fancy for, I don't think she liked me!

Enough about shrinks. I gots some ideas of my own. (This is where the crowd goes "ugh" but the blogger continues.)..  I think happiness is tied to the six senses.  The hell? Victor, there are only five.  Oh contrare, there's Touch, Sight, Hearing, Smell, Taste and Common.  That's 6.  OK Victor, but there are happy people who are missing one or more of those senses. AGREE wholeheartedly and onea the things I do if I'm ever down is getme an hour fix of Ray Charles on youtube!

So, is it a race to happiness? We each have our own answers, but I can tellya, one of the happiest times I've ever had was at the Lazy River at Oceans of Fun..  you get on a raft, it takes no effort, and you float, go round and round and round.  Are you saying you're lazy Victor?  Mebbe, ok, probably, but the point was 'relaxation = happiness.'

Why just the other day I was out relaxing with my buddies, playing golf.. I hit my third straight tee shot in the woods, and under my breath said "I should go back to bowling."  Story true, but, just kidding, kinda sorta, golf, the outdoors, friends, no have to's, elate me tremendously.

Where are you going with this Victor?  Nowhere really, which, is kinda like taking a drive without the damn GPS, just driving around to see God's sights.. no destination (other than happiness) in mind.

I'll get outta here, that might make some happy, in fact, in the words of the great Oscar Wilde "Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.".  A few songs that speak to happy:

Don't Worry Be Happy

Happy (by Pharrell)

Happy Together

Shiny Happy People

Life's A Happy Song by Mickey Rooney... he's short, can he be happy?

Happy Trails to you....

By Henry Gibson..  Forward by Happy Rockefeller, widow of the former VP Nelson Rockefeller.

(Which reminds me, "You're the lady, you're the lady that I love, Rockefeller, Rockefeller".  Love is happy ain't it?)

Love, Victurd

I'll take a dozen please........

My brain.  Your brain?  My brain is, would look like--> all the bouncing here there back again like a game of pong.  Woahhhhhh, down feller, concentrate on one thing!  Rubbish!  I'll do what I want!  Well... thoughts of a blog this morning.

Rebel.  Do a blog about 'rebel.'.... Maybe about leader/follower...howabout sheep?  I actually Googled sheep.  There are some misnomers about them....but mebbe a blog for another day. Oh, one thing, their eyes.  We can look peripherally at a range of about 155 degrees.  They're right around 270.  OK, two things. Contrary to belief, they are pretty darn intelligent.  Vely cool, but also vely boring blog idea.  Baaaa'hd idea.

Howabout important, ie, what's important.  Rather than think for my self, baaaahhhh, I Googled. Someone wrote these 12 things:

1. Health

2. Family

3. Friends

4. Love

5. Purpose

6. Passion

7. Wellness

8. Education

9.Time

10. Water

11. Food

12. Sleep

My whole life I've listened, intently I hope, most of the time.  I'm HUGE on "Nuh uh", which prolly ain't a good thing.  I look at the list and I think "yeah but, but what about ______ and _____ and _____?"

Like money. I probably be po' because I don't/didn't think about the importance of money in our lives. But it is.  Damn important. It plays a large role in what we do, where we go, what we wear, where we live, what we eat, yada.  Yum, hamburger $4.99 a pound?  Gimme a 10 pound roll please!.. Money. Impo'tent, which, is slang talk for important, and not to be confused with ED, which some of us... er.. some older men get.

I don't see fun up there?  Victor, you're really an idiot.  You read #1 about Health, then as you scrolled down, you flippantly read all 12, then you went back and thought "Ain't Health and Wellness the same thing?"  Well, kinda sorta.  They write (about Wellness) "Besides having a healthy body, it's essential to have a healthy mind.  Luckily, we live in a time when mental wellbeing is at the forefront, and those who struggle with any mental health disorders are being given the treatment and care that they need to lead a happy life."  Nuh uh. Oops.

Editor's note. I do that (Editor's note) because it's my blog. You too could have a blog.  ABC, it's as easy as do re mi, ABC, 123 baby you and me girl. No, that ain't exactly it, but you know what I mean.

I ain't real sure we, our world, get the necessary mental health support we need. One, we gotta admit a need for help.  Two, I always assumed counseling was extremely expensive (which it is)... Oft times it's up to the family to request/demand/urge/prod a loved one to get help, and that's tough.  And I think oft times Dr's (some) prescribe (especially to children) "just give him this, he won't do that." - which, leads us back to baaaaaahhhhh, sheep.

Moving on.  Selfishly, important to me is free time. THEY say about time "Having the ability to value time really matters. Time is precious and priceless, and it should be taken advantage of. When we have a good understanding of time, we can form good habits and structure our daily activities."  I call BS, time out, stymie halt, wait-a-minute, hold the phone (why do they say 'hold the phone'.. you ever given someone your phone and said "hold the phone?"  Nuh uh, me neither.)  Don't shoot me, but "form good habits and structure our daily activities" sounds like a bunch of den mothers comprising a list on the importance of time. VICTOR, you MISOGYNIST!  Criminy, here we go again, NO! Nuh uh, I ain't!  OK, howabout, it sounds like a group of male principals working on curriculum. VICTOR, you ass, that's even more misogynist, ya don't think WOMEN can be principals?  You speaky with forked tongue, if you longtime blog reader here, you would know my most favorite boss ever was a FEMALE Principal.

Point is, time to me, is personal.  Take/do, what you want with it.  Color me lazy, I like quiet. I can be happy just sitting in an easy chair... by a pond, lake, river... happy as a lark. Take your structure and go jump in a lake. Before you do that, sit there first for awhile. See how peaceful that is?  Uh huh, what I thought.

What else did they miss that's important?  Honesty.  Humility. Being Kind. Being Nice.  Howabout Giving? Thanking.  Appreciating.

And of course, howabout "Storing all your damn usernames and logins here so you'll have something easy to go back to,." not to mention "keep track (here) of all the bills you pay by checking account versus card, because accounts can be compromised, then it's a pain in the ying yang."  I jest, but kinda sorta. Speakinowhich, where on the body is the ying yang?

Laughter, both seeing and participating.  FUN. Our Freedoms.

I'll go.  I don't want to take up any more of your structured time.  Oops. my baaaaahhhd.  Can you think of anything else to add to the list they gave us?  It's important to me to know what's important to you. Trust me.  (Hey, there's another...  Trust.)

Your list?

By Henry Gibson..    Forward by all the "Don't you know who I am" important people you run across in your life time.

Love, Victurd

Alfie..

What's it all about Alfie
Is it just for the moment we live

I'd done a blog.. and a kind friend wrote "Thank you for spreading some love around, Vic. I think it's what you were born to do."  I love that I saw, read this - but not so sure I belong 'up there'. As I look at the mirror, of course old age has crept in - but what's aged me more is all the beatings, tongue lashings of Victor, by Victor. My mind, maybe all our minds, I dunno, can be dark.  I write to try to get the hell out of the dark. To stop overthinking, over-analyzing, to relax, to smile, have fun, love life - and I do love life.  One of my least favorite beginnings of any sentence is "Like I said,", but too, like I said, I write to me, for me, hitchhikers welcome.

What's it all about
When you sort it out, Alfie
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind?

My first thought this morning was the saying "For goodness' sake!" Being of what I call "C+ smarts" I needed to Google this, and as suspicioned, it's got negative connotations.  Suspicioned has got a red line under it, don't care, should be a word.  But why should "For goodness' sake" be negative? (And there's a lotta words you can substitute for 'goodness', you know what they are, up to and including 'Pete', whoever Pete is.)  Again, it's shouldn't be negative.To the contrary. The idea of life, to me, as it should be, is happy, fun, love, beauty. Not, "For goodness' sake, what is wrong with you?", but what is right with you.... Walk, love, be (kind, nice, smiley), for goodness sake.

And if, if only fools are kind, Alfie
Then I guess it is wise to be cruel
And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie
What will you lend on an old golden rule?

There's that 'kind' word. Mr. Burt Bacharach and David Hal wrote this song..  Barbara Streisand was taking a taxi, heard it, thought "I should sing that song, but, I don't like the lyric about the golden rule," so, she called Burt, "nothing, it means nothing, it's just words needed to complete the sentence." She agreed to sing it and I'm glad she did, my favorite recording of it.

As sure as I believe there's a heaven above
Alfie, I know there's something much more
Something even non-believers can believe in

Beauty. As I've aged, my perception of beauty has been amended.  I went to youtube.  I watched as three people were interviewed about beauty.  They used words like tenderness... smoothness.. sound.. scent.. touch.. small hugs.. holding a hand that fits.. what a heart projects..  Nice, all nice, and all beautiful.

I believe in love, Alfie
Without true love we just exist, Alfie
Until you find the love you've missed
You're nothing, Alfie

All three of the people I watched on youtube were blind. One from birth, two had sight, lost it. Each was asked "if you could have sight, would you?"  The lady said "yes, because then my husband wouldn't be burdened taking me every place."  The oldest man said "maybe for one day so I could see my children.. maybe look at paintings, but I'm not so sure I'd want to be sighted. The one blind from birth really wasn't leaning at all to be sighted.. the three talked about dreams.. and this guy said "well, from what I gather from the news of the world today, I think maybe I'd be scared in my dreams, so no, I'm just fine!"

All three were strikingly VERY kind. Very happy.  Very understanding and at peace.  All that, to me, kinda sums up beauty.  Life and love.

When you walk let your heart lead the way
And you'll find love any day Alfie, Alfie

No overthinking, over analyzing allowed! Let your heart lead the way. Nice.  Kind.  Beautiful.

By Henry Gibson..  Forward by Ray Charles (one of the three interviewed.)

Love, Victurd