Oh, the people outside are frightful........

To cater too is not insightful...
Since they've no room to grow
Let em go, let em go, let em go.. 

Yesterday was all warm and fuzzy about happy, well, in fairness, we oughta peek at the other side of the ledger, even if it means patooey chop suey...

The other day, grandson said "Grandpa, that's the first time I've heard you cuss."  So, not proud, I'm working on a list of alternatives.   A few of my favs...   BULLSPIT!...  FRACK!... CRAPPITY!... AND SO IS YOUR OLD MAN (has always been onea my favs).

As promised, in fairness... a few things that make my tummy queasy:

LOUD. I'm not a fan of loud. I know there's gotta be a reason why God gifted someone with the 10 outta 10 volume button, but crappity, it unnerves me. I cannot linger for fear of giving the finger. (PS, had a buddy one time, he would raise his hand as if to give finger.. well, he did, but it was the ring finger, not the middle. I kinda like that.  It's an alternative hand gesture, cool in the presence of children mebbe.)

People who have a problem, so, someone offers a suggestion on how to help.. 'No, I tried that, I can't. yada yada yada."  Well have you tried this?  "Yes, that didn't help either." And so, you count on your fingers, trying hard not to stop and give the finger, just how many times they've said "nope, won't help" so you 'cipher, "this person chooses to be miserable...there is no suggestion, no Excedrin, no masseuse, no nuttin' that will make them happy." FRACK!  Let 'em go, let 'em go, let 'em go.

Incessance.  Could be a pencil tapper, for what seems like six years. Someone with the sniffles who 'wipes' (again and again) with their bare hand and you don't wanna look and see where they wiped it off. Maybe you're at a restaurant, classic music is on the juke, the dude next to you is a singer. Not a very good one.  Undaunted, he sings, EVERY song. You're at table 7, he's singing loud enough those at table 42 can hear.  GEE WILLIKERS, MOTHER OF PEARL, OH SHIP!  Will you shut up? (you think to yourself, but you don't say it, so, you suffer in misery in Missouri.)

They don't show signs of stopping
So I brought some bubble wrap for popping
Earbuds on, volume turned down low
Let em go, let em go, let em go..

On the road again. I'd love to wait and wait and wait insteada getting on the road again. Tailgaters. MOTHER FATHERS get off my tail! (No hand signals, too many carry nowadays.) You're at a stop sign, awaiting to turn right.  Car coming from the left in the distance.  You could probably make it, but you wait. And wait. And the car finally gets to you, TURNS RIGHT onto the street you are on WITH NO TURNSIGNAL!  How rude!  You, you TARTER SAUCE, you wasted my time!.....  People that stop, no matter what, at every intersection when their ain't no FRIGGIN stop signs telling you to stop. SUFFERIN' SUCCOTASH, UNCHAIN MY HEART, what's wrong with you?

He doesn't care if it's ten below
He's sitting on the brake pedal so..
He don't care about the car behind and that blows
Let em go, let em go, let em go...

"Ahm, don't you know who I am?"  In your mind you think, well, 'Unless you're with Publisher's Clearing House and you're here with my check for 100 million dollars, I really don't care who you are.'  OK, say you have a buddy who works at a golf course.  Guy comes up, want's to play.  It's a Holiday, line's out the door, your buddy is as busy as Lucy and Ethel were packing candy coming at them on that conveyor belt.  "Yessir, may I help you?" I want to play 18 holes. "OK, did you have a reserved tee time?" No, I'M A MEMBER. "Well H E double hockey sticks" your buddy thinks to himself.  Your buddy hands the guy a key.. says "This is the last cart, we're running low today it's so busy."  Don't you know who I am replies "Figured as much."  Well SHITAKE MUSHROOMS!

Oo-wee goes the storm
Why should he worry when he's Mr. Charm?
His ego's the size of an ice flow
Let em go, let em go, let em go...

Some rapid fires:  The person with 33 items in their cart at the "Express lane, 10 items only please."  When you gotta poo, and the guy in the stall stays in there long enough you coulda watched two episodes of 2 and a half men.  When you're in a hurry and a fellow senior citizen in line at the Piggly Wiggly checks out just in front of you and they insist on finishing telling the cashier a long, long story. Long lines, people that buy 13 lottery tickets of different kinds.  A fire this high, that burns my booty too!

OK, I've complained about complainers enough.  People that get on one's last nerve.  Mebbe.  Mebbe i did wake up on the wrong side of the bed.  There's a wall there, prolly why my head hurts.  OH SHIRT.

The people outside are frightful
To throw em in the fire would be delightful
Since we're nice and that's a no go
Let em go, let em go, let em go.

Should you need ammo though in case your kids or your grands are with you... here's a few more I kinda like: PEAS AND RICE!.. .SON OF A MONKEY!..  CORN NUTS!.. SNICKERFRITZ!...  SCHNIKES!... FART KNOCKER!... (kids might giggle at that onoe) AY CARAMBA!...  WHAT THE CUSS?

But of course.. I'm perfect.  Don't you know who I am?

By Henry Go To Help Gibson, ... preface by Wendy and Doug Whiner..   forward by Ol' Blue Eyes himself..

Love, Victurd