We all think differently, and I'm no different, which, would be I'm different if you think about it. (And I know I am, in perhaps a weird way, but humor me please..)
Never understood running the bases. Insteada left turns, shouldn't they be right turns, as in "3 to go, 2 to go, 1 to go, HOME!"
In a court of law, we use lie detectors for theft, rape, drug busts, etc, but nope, not in a Presidential debate, in spitea the fact the winner controls "that one button."
Why do clocks run 'clockwise' and who decided that was the wise way in the first place? Why didn't Dolly Parton (Working 9 to 5) have to take time off for lunch?
Tickles me the person who chants to Sam Walton "Hell no I won't go" thru the automated checkout, then hops in an SUV that is manufactured by 57% robotics, then, spills his milk at dinner and cries even though it was brought there by an automated titty milker at the dairy, then hollers "Alexa, please turn the heat up to 72." (Bet a dollar he owns a fish finder.)
I'd like to see.. when using GPS and you miss a turn, insteada that 'dah-de'dahnk' sound it makes to recalculate, wouldn't it be funner if it said "oh shit" instead? Or, "you idiot!"
Life is hard, no doubt. Prior to the origin of the quote "Life's a bitch and then you die" the US had participated in 95 Wars, we'd done been thru smallpox, yellow fever, cholera, scarlet fever, typhoid Mary, H1N1 flu, diphtheria, polio, the list goes on, hell, Bessie had already even tipped over that lantern in Chicago.. .. AND WHAT'S CRAZY? The quote is attributed to a 15 year old in 1982.. The Washington Post interviewed a high school gal about a gathering she/her schoolmates had regarding "The meaning of life" and that's when the pipsqueak (sorry, kinda) piped up.
Hell, he hadn't even flipped a burger, mowed a lawn, gradjugated to the real world, paid taxes, fed a baby at 3am, or scraped the ice off a windshield in 5 below weather. I was disappointed to learn this statement didn't belong to someone like me, old, crotchety, wrinkly, a step or seven too slow, flatulence every third step.. you know...
I don't get, while watching football on a 55" screen, why the head ref walks over after a touchdown to peek into a 5 INCH screen to see if the ball carrier indeed have touchdown or not. No comprende'.
I think elopement oughta be illegal.. church weddings (or community center weddings, ain't gotta be a church) should be ok/legal BUT ONLY after each of 'em gives half their money (and debt) to the other, they've gone on a 7 hour canoe trip, witnessed a childbirth, driven across 4 states together, and, babysat an infant for two weeks. Me thinks the divorce rate (along with the marriage rate) would drop tremendously.
I think everyone who gets into a Political argument on Facebook consisting of over 30 he said/she saids, it should be mandatory they (all) meet for breakfast in the morning, accompanied by their children.. their parents.. their boss..their little league coach.. their preacher... and their former elementary school Principal.
I think WalMart greeters should approach anyone approaching their age to tell them where the restrooms are. I think restrooms everywhere with three or more stalls need one "Reserved for those 65 and older." Everyone deserves a pot to piss in, especially us old people.
Having served the dreaded life of 'an underling', I think underlings should participate (albeit anonymously) in managerial salary reviews. HA! Take that! (Or, NOT take that! Ha!)
I think we should tax the hell outta the 1% because it makes the Republicans mad, thus, we could all meet for breakfast, make up, our taxes would be low, and we'd eventually have free healthcare to assist us with clogged arterial woes from eating all too often a full order of biscuits and gravy, sausage, hotcakes with real butter.
With all this automation, we need to expound the abilities of Alexa. Like, take her with us in the car. You know, like "Alexa, squirt windshield solution on that asshole tailgating me please."...and, "Alexa, please install bulletproof glass, then moon that guy in the Chevy that just cut me off (I won't look)."
I think cars should have magnetic force fields where it's impossible, when in the same lane, to travel closer than one car length per ten miles per hour. You know us good Democrats, we like that control! Seeya at breakfast.
I think when a friend peeves us off, there should be a button like the 30 day snooze button on Facebook where God ensures we won't run into each other for at LEAST 30 days.
I loves me some Kansas City Royals, and I was sooo tickled Nicky Lopez became the first Royals shortstop to bat .300. Their batting averages are published daily. I think the batting averages of Doctors, Surgeons, lawyers, painters, carpenters, bus drivers, Uber, Lyft, Taxi drivers, all, oughta be published too. "Alexa, I have a huge gash in my leg, take me to the ER. No, not that hospital, that Doc only bats .462."
Things I hope I NEVER EVER hear: my BMI. The words "I do." "That was judgmental." "Now in a few words, please tell us why you are calling Spectrum Support." "You have the right to remain silent." "Does your husband play golf too?" "Sir, behind me on the bulletin board is a list of all the documents you need to bring to license your car." "Not tonight." "Life's a bitch and then you die" because it ain't. It's fun, or should be.
I never want to run out of: toilet paper. Gas. A working furnace. Sound mind. The ability to ne'er be dependent upon another. Relatives. Friends (even Republicans, KU fans).. Money. Patience. Humor. Smiles. Prudent blog ideas (sorry about this one). Undies with no holes.
Harmony in a world of difference.. or, Difference in a world struggling to be harmonious. Seeya at breakfast.
Love, Victurd
No comments:
Post a Comment