Gobble Gobble

We have 12 months. We give thanks often, but for whatever reason, Thanksgiving oft times finds us formally recording things we're thankful for. Sorry, you're stuck with mine below. Aware my brain is mebbe 'different', I think I think of things others might not think to thank. Thanks, I think.

I'm thankful for the toothpick. It allows me, after an hour or so, to enjoy my sausage biscuit again.

I'm thankful for the male/female news anchors who, mebbe silently, say to producers/owners, "hell no, we're not dressing color coordinated." Parochial school children I kinda understand... But, hard to comprehend "Hi Shiela, this is Frank, from down at the studio.. I just spoke with Charlie and he's wearing Royal Blue today, so that's whatya need to have on when you report this morning." Ick.


I'm thankful for the morning traffic gal, and that fact that I'm retired, I don't have to pay attention to where there are wrecks, road construction, etc., which, allows me to pay full attention, stare at her boobs.  Sorry, kinda, have you seen her?

I'm thankful for folks that enter buildings a full 30 feet in fronta me and don't wait, hold the door. Back in my youth, I never thought about "if I hold the door for this 60+-something person, do you think they'll think they have to run/walk fast, can they even do so, and if so, is that more painful than pretending I didn't see them and going ahead inside?"

I'm thankful for Chili Cheese Fritos, BBQ sauce, ketchup, salsa, and nearby napkins to wipe sweat off.

Rather than suffer remorse for not finding 'that gal' to have, hold and celebrate fo'er an e'er, I kinda liken my life with women (too many different ones?) to colored undies. I likes colored undies (Thanks for whoever invented them.) Rather than a life destined in 'whitey-tightie' (THE only pair I getta wear), I gots me an array, some red ones, green ones, light blue ones, royal, navy, black, orange, grey, etc. (Just think [and thank] that's 16 consecutive no laundry days - if you flip 'em.)

I'm thankful for the kid in the elementary school program that steals the show, and I pray he/she doesn't grow up to sell used cars, become a telemarketer, or, willingly participate in fake GoFundMe scams.

I'm thankful for those who think "I know, I get like that too sometimes" when I don't immediately return texts, or, when I allow your call to go into my voicemail insteada picking up.

I'm thankful for librarians that laugh out loud, aging rock bands that include the favorites in their set (for the 6,428th time).

I'm thankful I've made it to November and I have no idea whereinthehell I put that list of New Years Resolutions from January.


I'm thankful for when a fart is a fart, dribble is on the basketball court, and that no one drinks from the plastic cup under the passenger seat of my car


I'm thankful for every race I've won to the WallyWorld restroom, and hopeful, no one saw when I didn't.


I am thankful flies get slow in November.


I am not thankful time flies, but I am thankful when I look down and my fly is up.


I'm thankful for Bud Light when I've spent too much time beating myself up, for Ben Gay after I've been to the gym, and I'm thankful for Rolaids after that second bowl of chili.


I am thankful for every day that ends in Y.


I am thankful for You.  I am thankful to God.  I am thankful for all my grandchildren, but specifically the behavior of my two year old granddaughter who reminds me how wonderful life is, and that hate, spite, angst, yada, are learned behaviors.


Love, Victurd